


Unknown Bond

by DarkWaters



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Accidental Bonding, Alien Biology, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Childbirth, Developing Relationship, F/M, Friendship, Love, M/M, Pon Farr, Romance, Sex, Unplanned Pregnancy, Wooing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2019-07-03 09:34:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 77,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15816228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkWaters/pseuds/DarkWaters
Summary: Spock is deep in the throws of Pon Farr and is preparing to die, hiding his condition to the best of his abilities. On a trip to Riverside shipyards he encounters Jamison Kirk and instantly knows she will save him from the fires of the plak tow.After, he cannot find her. He can feel the bond they developed during his Time but she is gone. It isn't until a few months later when he sees her across the grounds of Starfleet Academy...pregnant.





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Lieutenant Spock stepped off the transport shuttle, following his mentor and commanding officer, Captain Christopher Pike. This trip had been very unexpected and, currently, was very unwelcome. His captain had 'strongly suggested' his attendance but the reasons for this trip had not been disclosed. Nor had the location. Pike had been uncharacteristically cryptic about it and had refused to accept no for an answer. 

His assignment as the chief of science on the USS Farragut under the young and energetic captain had been an enlightening and fascinating experience; going so far as to describe it as...enjoyable. During his time on Vulcan he had never experienced such freedom and so many chances to try new things. The people on his planet tended to stay within set parameters and the chance to explore new worlds and, as his mother would put it, 'spread his wings' had been a very welcome experience. 

Escaping the restrictive confines of the Vulcan people have him a sense of peace he had never had before despite being among aliens. However, that peace was rapidly falling by the wayside. He had thought that he had left all that was difficult and unpleasant about Vulcan far behind him, but he should have known better than to underestimate the pull of his people. 

While he adhered mostly to the Vulcan way, eschewing the more human aspects of displaying emotion and following the ways of Surak, there were some things that he allowed himself in regards to his other half. He allowed more freedom of curiosity, the ability to be impulsive occasionally, and small acts of rebellion in regards to human culture such as appreciation for simple things such as art and music. 

Currently, he was suffering. He had thought this would never happen. The doctors and healers of his home planet had told him as such since he was not fully Vulcan and he had foolishly believed them. His Time was upon him.

His hopes of hiding this affliction and his shame had been for nought as Captain Pike had insisted on his presence on a trip of which he had no idea what it would entail. As a youth on his planet of origin, he had researched the Pon Farr extensively in case of such an occurrence. His father had taken the precaution of bonding him to T'Pring. An unacceptable and unwelcome match which both parties had not wanted but they respected their elders and had performed the ceremony. Both had chosen to break the weak link in secret. T'Pring cared for Stonn while Spock cared for freedom.

In his studies, the young half-vulcan had come across ancient texts describing the ability to meditate this curse away and so he had secluded himself to try. There had been warnings that it was rarely successful but he still wished to attempt this endeavor. He was not close to any other, male or female, that could help either. Vulcans prized and needed mental comparability and he had yet to encounter another that matched him. He was alone. The only other option was not available to him nor would he shelve his pride and ask his father for assistance in finding him a mate to cool the fires.

So it was that he had secluded himself in his apartment in San Francisco to focus his efforts in preventing his demise, however futile they may be, when his friend and captain had sought him out. 

Once they had landed, Spock had discovered that they were currently at the Riverside shipyards. Every sense was painfully heightened and it was a monumental effort to appear unaffected. His chances for survival were...well, he could no longer calculate exact percentages, but he knew they were low enough that he was going to die. 

His skin felt too tight, too hot, and every brush against him made an anger he had not felt since childhood nearly escape the confines of his control. Captain Pike's words washed over him and did not sink in to be properly understood and Spock lamented the fact that his last memories of his friend would be damaged.

He was barely cognizant of their location during a tour of the newest ship that was being built, the USS Enterprise, and he only listened with half of his usual attention. Even Pike had noticed something was off, but was respectful enough to not comment on it, cutting the tour short. 

Lieutenant-Commander Sanchez, the chief of operations at the shipyard was proudly displaying his work and explaining the upgrades to the ship which made it the most advanced in the fleet. It would be completed in approximately four years, an admirable, if overly optimistic estimate. Humans, however, tended to surprise him and it was possible that the ship would indeed be ready in time.

The end of the day was a respite that Spock was eagerly anticipating only to have the pair invited to dinner. It was an invitation that, again, he could not refuse without raising suspicion. 

Lieutenant-Commander Sanchez had recommended them to a human establishment, a modest diner. 

"So, lieutenant, what's your opinion on the Enterprise?" Pike cut into his chicken. 

Spock struggled with maintaining his composure. He knew that he had lost valuable time for meditation and he was likely to enter the plak tow. Death would follow in a matter of days. 

"It is an impressive ship." His answers were curt and Pike frowned at the tone.

"Are you alright, Spock?" Gray eyes pierced him and Spock could practically feel the concern radiating off of him. His telepathic control was wavering.

"I am...unwell." 

"Why didn't you say anything? We can get you to Starfleet Medical within two hours. Can you hold on until then?" 

The thought of someone discovering his true ailment horrified him and he vehemently shook his head. "It will pass. I believe it is similar to Tarkelian flu and I only require rest and meditation until things come to pass." And it would pass, but not in the manner that Pike would expect. 

"Do you need to head back to the hotel now?" 

Spock grit his teeth. He could not appear weak and encourage his captain's concern. "Negative." He knew there was a reason why he had been brought here rather than a simple explanation. He needed to discover it and finish this before he could retire to accept his fate in private.

"If you're sure..." 

"I am, sir." 

Pike still looked unconvinced but he was polite enough that he didn't continue his line of questioning. "I've been offered the Enterprise and I want you as my first officer when she sails."

Serving under Pike was an honor and Spock only regretted that this opportunity had come so late. "The Enterprise will not be completed for another four years. What will be your assignment in the interim?"

Smiling, he took another bite. "I've been assigned as commandant of cadets at Starfleet Academy. If you accept my offer then I'd like it if you were to be an instructor until the Enterprise is ready. I think you'd be an invaluable asset."

Spock lowered his hands to clench under the table and dug his nails into his palm. The pain assisted in helping him focus. The world swam in front of him, but he must assert control. 

Optimism and excitement shone in Pike's face and the possibilities of Spock being able to teach, to impart his considerable knowledge was so tempting. To be treated with respect and then to be an officer serving on the flagship of Starfleet? It had been everything he had worked for. It devastated him that it would never happen. He would die before his dreams came to fruition but he would at least have the honor of accepting Pike's proposal.

"A teaching position federation languages professor has opened up and they need someone to help program a new simulation called the Kobiyashu Maru." He continued. "And here's the kicker. You could also use the time to finish your thesis on duotriticale grain and fungal resistance." 

"I would be honored, sir." 

Pike's face lit up in excitement. "Good man!" 

As the finished their meal, Spock only taking small bites, Pike spent the time enthusiastically talking about the future. It was a future he could and would never have but the idea of it was enticing to the point of him indulging in the human practice of daydreaming. 

"Well, I'm heading out. Did you want to come or are you going to stay a minute?" 

As Pike stood, Spock felt glued to his seat. He was concerned that his affliction would consume him if he moved. He needed time to assert himself. "Negative. I will retire soon, though." 

Frowning, the older man looked unsure but was respectful enough to not comment. "Okay. Term doesn't start for a few months so you'll have plenty of time to prepare." He gave a small smile but it was tainted with his worry. "I'll see you in a week or so for lesson plans."

Spock gave a jerky nod to dismiss his companion and was relieved when he left. There were no other patrons in the diner and Spock allowed himself a moment to sigh in relief. He closed his eyes and let the world fade around him. He only needed a moment. Control. He needed control.

He was aware but not aware. He heard sounds and they irked him but he forced calm despite the fires raging within. He burned.

Time lost all meaning and it was when he felt the air shift beside him that he reacted. His hand shot out and grabbed the arm in front of him and instantly a beautiful, perfect calm descended upon him that caused his grip to tighten slightly.

Eyes more blue than the earth plant cornflower gazed back at him. There was no color like it on his planet. Bluer than the deepest oasis and he wished he could drown in them, that they could maybe cool the fires with them. His telepathy is escaping him and he can sense an underlying fear from this woman but it is almost smothered by extreme worry and concern. Concern for him. And was that small amount of attraction?

He reluctantly releases her and she lowers herself into the seat next to him. "Can I help you?"

Yes. Yes, you can. He thinks but he cannot respond. He had felt something with the short time he had had contact. 

His nostrils flare and he can smell her. She is sweeter than even the most fragrant of the rare favinit blossoms that bloom once every five years, sweeter than that of the ripest juiciest pla-savas fruit. 

Her hair is yellow like golden honey lit with sunlight. He held still reached out and carefully lay one finger on his arm. He instinctively knows that she understands and respects his culture's lack of touch but she's worried since he hasn't responded to her repeated inquiries. He isn't sure what to say. 

Her mind suddenly starts to slide without effort into his and he feels it like a soothing balm on a sunburn. He wants to grab it, take it, cradle it within his mind for all time. It's beautiful and multi-hued like the sunsets of Earth violet, red, orange, gold, and it's perfect and he wants it. Her gentle care flows into him and it only serves to make him crave her all the more. He's no longer alone. T'hy'la.

His mind instinctively reaches out, desperate and ecstatic, but before he can connect, it's gone. She pulls away with a gasp and clutches her chest. No. No. No! Don't leave me! His mind cries out.

Who is this human that seems to fit with him? His eyes drifted to the name tag on her uniform. Sam. It...didn't seem to fit, but everything else did. She was shi'masu, perfection. His oasis and he needed her.

xXx

 

God, Iowa sucks...big time. Jamison Kirk was done. Done with being stuck here in Iowa. Done with the monotonous life she'd carved out for herself. Done with dealing with the people here that just. Moved. So. Slow. Life here seemed muted and gray. Everything here moved too slow and it was driving her insane but what could she really do? She'd already completed her BA in Genetics and Plant Biology. She'd enjoyed the challenge of learning the physiology, biochemistry, and morphology of both alien and Terran species. The ability to dabble in molecular genetics and genomics had been amazing with so many possibilities. She'd been able to learn so much and was in the beginning portion of adapting what she'd learned to apply that information to use it in biotechnology, bioenergy, biomedical, and so many other things. She'd even been considering joining her long time friend at Thomas Leighton in finishing her MA in applied genetics to use what she'd learned adapt a new grain that his research team were studying. It was an amazing opportunity but it was one that just didn't feel right for her. Being stuck in a lab might appeal to some but it just didn't quite fit with how she saw herself.

Then again, how did she see herself? 

She was bored. She knew that for certain, but what else? She was stuck. Currently, she was busy waiting tables in a local diner after being called in for an extra shift. She'd not had time to clean her uniform and had been stuck borrowing her co-worker Sam's since they were the same size. 

Her boss Joe had been an ass and hadn't really given her a choice, but she did need the shifts. Her student loans had started piling up. She was debating getting a deferment and going for a masters, but for what? Computer programming had always been an interest for her however, that'd stick her in labs. Engineering? Maybe. It'd give her a chance to escape the monotony that was Riverside since the University of Iowa didn't have an engineering program. She'd have to take some extra courses since the prerequisites weren't what she had, but it'd be worth it just to have a chance to do something else.

A pair Starfleet officers rolled in and sat at a table in her section and Jim rolled her eyes. It wasn't an uncommon occurrence for 'fleet personnel and officers to frequent the restaurant. They had them all the time; usually engineers and the like because of the close proximity to the shipyards. Sometimes they'd get cadets trying to get greasy burgers to soak up the alcohol from their last night of freedom or to tame a hangover before they're shipped off to the academy but what was unusual was that these officers were in their formal grays. Not only that but one was a Vulcan.

Refilling the salt shakers, she almost dropped the glass containers when she saw two people entering and taking a seat at the back of the restaurant. Typically, the groups that came in were engineers and techs working at the shipyard. They tended to be polite and she'd had many a conversation and debate with them over the merits of dilithium crystals versus dilithium crystals shaped in a lattice for maximum engine efficiency. 

There was a young Vulcan lieutenant. Jim tilted her head in curiosity. She'd never seen a Vulcan in Starfleet. Typically, when she saw them they were on a contract from the VSA. He was pale but had spots of green high on his cheekbones as if he had a fever but he seemed in perfect control, if a little unresponsive to his colleague. Jim idly wondered what it'd be like to debate with him. She'd done so with some of the Vulcans from the Vulcan Science Academy and it had been a lot of fun, especially the rare times when she'd been able to best them.

The other officer was what made her want to hide away. Captain Christopher Pike. She'd known him since she was a small child. He'd been a close friend of her father's and would frequently visit when he was on leave. He'd been there when she had been in the hospital after enduring one of her step-father, Frank's 'lessons' and when she was a kid competing in school competitions. He'd been like an uncle to her and she'd loved him.

The last time she'd seen him had been when she was fourteen and fresh from the horrors of Tarsus. Her mom, as usual, hadn't wanted anything to do with her only child; preferring her life far away in the black. Chris had talked about adopting her but he must have not wanted such a broken child because she never saw him after that one visit. After that she'd given up caring and had become the brat that Frank had always accused her of being. 

Her paternal grandparents, Tiberius and Mary, had helped her to heal after her arrest for destruction of the statue of her father in the town square and had set her on the right path. She'd started school again, but thanks to her history she didn't qualify for any scholarships. They'd helped her until their deaths when she'd turned twenty and had left her their small house which had been filled with so many happy memories. 

She hated Starfleet. It wasn't because her father had died. That was always a risk you understood going into the service. It was because her mother had basically died on the inside and had abandoned her for the stars because of them. She hated it because it made her famous for being the stupid Kelvin baby. They'd marketed their family's tragedy as a huge romance and great love story of a dad sacrificing himself for his child and wife and saving over 800 people. Starfleet had also failed her as a kid when Tarsus had happened. They hadn't showed up in time to prevent Kodos from murdering over 4,000 colonists. Even Chris had chosen Starfleet over her.

A brush of air behind her and Jim saw Mark grabbing his plates for his customers in his section and Jim had an idea. Smiling wide, Jim leaned into her coworker's space. "Hey, buddy!"

Mark turned, his face skeptical. "What are you doing?"

"Can you do me a favor?"

"Maybe." He said slowly. Why did everyone always have to be so suspicious?

The blond threw a thumb over in the general direction of the officers. "Can you handle table three?"

"Why?" 

Jim hated asking for help but she just couldn't face the man who'd abandoned her as a kid. "Because I asked?"

Rolling his eyes, her friend nodded. "Okay, but I get off in an hour. If they're still here then you're gonna have to take over, but I still get the tip." 

Jim smiled in relief. "Deal."

xXx

Jim had managed to skillfully avoid the group and, thankfully, Captain Pike had left and paid after forty-five minutes but the Vulcan lieutenant had elected to stay. It wasn't usual behavior for them since she'd seen that Vulcans typically valued efficiency and would simply eat and leave. She'd never seen one simply sit with his eyes closed as if he was meditating...or in pain.

It was definitely weird but who was she to judge? After Mark had left she had been left with no choice but to take over the table. After another hour had passed she was starting to become worried. It was now past closing time. Moving closer, Jim took a good look at him.

She couldn't deny he was handsome. His hair was shiny and black like the night sky and his ears tapered into elegant pointed tips. He had a kind face but it was currently tense as if he was in a great deal of pain. His back was ramrod straight and his shoulders impossibly stiff. Something was very wrong with him. His fingers were steepled under his chin and he almost seemed to be vibrating. He was clearly sick and she worried that he needed to go to the hospital but Jim knew that Iowa General definitely wouldn't be able to help him. They rarely saw other species.

Moving closer, she wanted to see if he needed some help. She could see that his tea was cold and it was the least she could do to get him a fresh cup. Reaching out, she didn't even get the chance to pick up the cup before an arm snaked out, too fast for her to avoid, and held her arm in a vise-like grip. 

A wave of emotion crashed into her and she struggled to meet it. It's too much and she needs it to slow. It's like a tsunami hitting her. Heat, lust, desperation, and fear hit her and she rides it, forcing herself to calm it. She didn't throw a wall, she gently rode it, encouraging it to follow her directions. She feels it slow, just enough. 

Pulling away, Jim looks at the man in front of her. Really looks. Chocolate brown eyes meet hers and she can see a fire brimming under the surface that both scared and thrilled her. She could see that he was hurting terribly and a desperate need to help him overcame her. She couldn't just abandon the guy. 

He's looking at her and there's a hope lighting his features and such amazement, as if she is the answer to all of his problems. 

"Can I help you?" 

He doesn't respond and it worried her. Something was very wrong and he needed something and Jim had a feeling that it's something only she can provide. The Vulcan shifted slightly towards her, almost like a moth to a flame and she carefully laid a finger on his bare wrist. She knew that Vulcans usually didn't allow or welcome touch but this one seemed to need it like how a man in a desert needs water. 

It happened so fast that it shocked her. There were no words, only sensation and emotion and it's so powerful and beautiful. A supernova of excitement and happiness and hope exploded into her mind and she felt so small but, at the same time, so big. Fiery reds exalting such strong passion enveloped her, golds flowing into her filling the cracks in her mind like a puzzle being completed. The absolute joy of discovery warmed her and comforted her and Jim no longer felt alone. For the first time in her life she felt...complete. She wanted to sink into it forever. She wanted to keep a part of this and never let it go. Her mind rose to meet him and she wanted to stay. It was almost as if she was being worshipped and accepted for who she was and what she saw was beautiful. Thoughts raced into her like quicksilver and it was perfect. She'd never experienced anything like it. It was when a strong wave of lust, so powerful that it almost burned caused her to jerk away and break the connection. Her chest hurt with the intensity of what he felt. There was so much!

He needed. Oh, God, he needed and he needed her. There was such desperation and desire that it was like he would die without her. The intensity of it excited her but it scared her. It was a heady thing to be so wanted, but she didn't even know this man-this Vulcan.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone,  
> I had posted this chapter earlier but I forgot a few things in it and a few other things bugged me so I'm re-posting an edited version.   
> I wanted to explore the moral and ethical implications of Pon Farr as well as the fact that not many (I wouldn't) women or men would simply fall into bed with someone and it's not like this is something that's a commonly known affliction.   
> I feel bad for both characters and wanted to make it a bit more than a wham bam thank you ma'am kind of thing. I wanted to show Jim's thought processes as well. I see her as an inherently good person, if a bit mischievous at times (which will be seen later on in the story).  
> Now, we can all probably guess where this will eventually go but please humor me. Lol!   
> Thank you in advance! Also, anyone got any fic recs? I love K/S (either m/m or f/m) and also friendship fics with Kirk, Spock and/or McCoy. I love it all and I am dying for a story I haven't read yet!!! 
> 
> DarkWaters

Chapter Two

"Where are you staying?" Jim sat across from the vulcan but maintained her distance. She knew that he was on a hairpin trigger and the way he was looking at her was a mix of her awe and hunger. She wasn't sure what to make of that. The memory of just how much he seemed to want her and how he seemed to treasure her through their short contact had been intoxicating, but it did freak her out. A little. His silence more so. 

She debated getting his attention with another minimal touch again since it had worked last time, but dismissed it since he seemed to be tracking her much like a cat does a mouse. She may be a bit of a thrill seeker but she certainly wasn't suicidal or stupid even if the smoldering look he was giving her was causing certain parts of her anatomy to become excited. Her heart! She swore it was her heart. Well...maybe a few other things, but that was beside the point. She forced herself to remember that this guy looked ill and she certainly couldn't take advantage of someone who couldn't consent and say no properly. Something was very wrong here and definitely wrong with him. 

Chancing a look outside, she didn't see any form of transport for him and wondered how he was going to get to where he needed to go. He didn't look in a fit state to find a ride home via either a cab or public transport. Considering they were pretty much in the middle of nowhere both options would take time and he wasn't looking too good. 

She licked her lips nervously and he zeroed in on the action. "Uh...did you want me to call your superior officer to come get you?" It's not like there were many hotels in the area. She'd easily be able to find Pike even if she didn't want to see or talk to him. Some things were more important than her own personal discomfort and she couldn't let him die even if she hated Starfleet.

"No. I..." He looked away and Jim could practically feel the shame emanating off of him even without physical contact. "I cannot have him know. Please, Sam." He implored. She'd never seen a vulcan practically beg. 

It took Jim longer than she'd like to admit to realize he meant her when he said her name. She quickly looked down and saw her name tag and nodded.. "Oh! Oh, right. Yeah. My name is Sam." His eyes narrowed suspiciously at her obviously faked enthusiasm and she quickly waved a hand dismissively deciding to change the subject to distract him. It's not like he seemed in any state to really hold onto a conversation. "You seem to have me at a disadvantage. What's your name?"

"Spock." 

Nodding, she continued. "Spock, I saw you don't have a car or anything. Did you need a ride to where you're staying?" She winced after the offer. She really was an idiot sometimes and cursed her tendency to leap before looking especially when he rapidly, and very overeagerly, stood up.

"Yes. Yes, I would like that very much." His low baritone caused Jim to falter.

"Ooookaaaay?" She hesitated at his choice of words. Like? No Vulcan 'liked' anything. It just didn't seem to be a part of their vocabulary. She indicated the restaraunt. "I just need to close up here and then we can head out." 

He moved close to her with a worrying amount of enthusiasm and nodded to show his understanding. She turned to go when a pair of fingers gently brushed against her hand and a pleasurable jolt ran up her arm and it almost caused her knees to buckle. She chanced a glance back and he looked like a starving man and she was his feast. Fucking hell. He was making it really hard to hold onto her principals. He might not be asking in words for it but she knew what he was wanting.

Jim shook her head to clear it. No. She would not take advantage of a sick vulcan. She'd rather die than hurt him. Wait. Where did that come from? She didn't even know him. Why did she feel so protective of someone she didn't know? Whatever. She had to keep him safe and if that meant from her then so be it. 

Tilting her head, she gave him a once over. He was incredibly handsome. His features looked like they were carved from marble by the famous sculptor Michelangelo. Pale skin that was the color of the finest porcelain covered an elegant, almost aristocratic, bone structure, but it was his fever-bright, striking eyes that arrested her. They were focused on her with an intensity that made her shiver, not in fear but in excitement. Rich, molten chocolate that struggled to hide a fire deep inside held her in place and caused her to swallow against a suddenly dry mouth. There was a tenderness there, too. It seemed to war with the obvious lust he was feeling. And how many times could she say that about a vulcan? That they felt. Clearly, if this was any indication it looked like they just kept their emotions on one hell of a tight leash.

Shaking herself and dismissing those inappropriate thoughts, Jim went to work closing down the restaurant as fast as she could. She went to the back and could hear footsteps coming close to the door separating her from the main area, but he didn't enter. For that, she was grateful. 

She went to her boss' office and grabbed the phaser he kept for emergencies, hiding it in her small apron. It caused the fabric to bulge so she decided to move it to her purse. She might be worried about Spock but she did have a small amount of self-preservation. Whether she'd use it to stop him from hurting her or stop him from hurting himself, she didn't know.

When she walked through the swinging back doors, Jim saw that Spock had been waiting for her. Upon seeing her, his attention went to her purse. He had to have realized she had packed the weapon. Jim automatically clutched the bag even as Spock looked dismayed. "I would never hurt my t'hy'la." His eyes softened and it made Jim feel so guilty for even considering bringing it, let alone the fact that she had. For a minute she thought of putting it back but she didn't want to chance it. "Humor me."

"Very well." 

Jim pondered over his words. She knew a few words in Vulcan but t'hy'la wasn't one of them. "What does t'hy'la mean?" She asked.

Spock reached for her and she let his place his hand on her arm. Longing and love flowed into her. "It is what you are to me." 

Not exactly an answer, but it didn't look likely that she was going to get more so she decided to let it go. For now.

She led her Vulcan shadow across the parking lot to the old truck that had been Tiberius's. It was a rusted beast, the red paint chipping off in places and the seats were threadbare, but the engine was strong. "It's uh...not much but it works good enough." 

She climbed in and so did Spock. The truck roared to life and she started to head out onto the dark roads towards town. "So, where are you staying?"

His answer was short and terse. It was like the longer he was with her, the more stressed he became. His hand was gripping the door so hard she could hear the plastic creak. 

When they finally got to where he was staying, he looked almost confused and Jim couldn't let him go until she knew he was safely ensconced in his room so she carefully guided him to where he needed to go once she caught sight of his hotel card listing the room number.

Once she got him inside, she snuck a quick peek around. It was a pretty standard room. A little more upscale than usual. A queen-sized bed dominated the space and calm earth tones were the general theme. Jim could see signs of the fact that someone was staying here. A spicy, smoky scent filled the room and she could see a fire pot in the corner with an incense holder and a meditation mat. An elegant black robe with gold Vulcan script embroidered on the edges of the opening caught her attention. It was beautiful. 

Jim shook herself, hating that she'd allowed herself to get distracted and she focused in on Spock who was suddenly watching her with an intensity she should find disturbing but it actually kind of turned her on. She'd never really been the focus of someone to that degree before. 

Spock's hands opened and closed repeatedly, giving her the impression of a man nervous about losing something precious and determined to keep it close. Now that they were in the lower light of a hotel room, things seemed more...intimate and Jim wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. "Uh..." She pointed over her shoulder towards the door. "I think I'm gonna head out."

"No! Please stay!" He practically shouted at her and Jim froze half-way in her turn to leave.

"Why?" 

Spock started to pace, almost frantically and gripped his hair with his hands lending him the look of a man severely agitated and deeply embarrassed. 

It was when he paused that Jim's heart almost broke. "I need you."

"What?"

"I. Need. You." He repeated slower, desperate for her to understand.

Jim tilted her head and frowned. She started to take a step closer but aborted the gesture when Spock's breath quickened in clear excitement. "Ok, I'm hearing you but I'm not hearing you. What do you mean by you need me?"

Huffing a breath, he started to pace again and Jim tapped a foot nervously. Was he insane? Trust her luck to find such a beautiful man who clearly liked her as well only for him to be mad. "Do you need me to call a doctor? Is that it?"

"No." He rasps. "What I have for healing is already present." He gave her a significant look that almost made her squirm. 

Swallowing audibly, Jim regarded the young man. There was something about him that made her instinctively feel like she was a part of him and he of her, like she needed him just as much as he needed her. "What do you mean by that?"

"It is a thing no outworlder may know." Jim backed towards the door. If anyone was an outworlder, it was her. He moved to block her leaving and Jim's hold on her bag tightened. The action did not go unnoticed but it wasn't commented on. "Except for those rare few that were directly involved." 

She bit the inside of her cheek and wasn't sure what to make of that other than she knew that it was an unspoken honor to be able to glean this information even if it was something she might not like. "What must I know, Mister Spock? What is so important that you need to risk compromising the privacy of your species to me of all people; a lowly human?" 

It was a well-known fact that vulcans weren't the biggest fans of the human race. They typically treated them as if they were unworthy of their attention and that superiority act only served to annoy her greatly. It had been the same type of behavior since first contact those many years ago when Zephram Cochrane had greeted the crew of the first alien ship to land on Earth. Well, the first alien ship that was publicly known to humans. 

She'd seen the looks of disdain and lack of respect on more than one occasion personally from them and that was what made it so satisfying when she'd managed to kick the proverbial stick out of their asses in scientific and ethical debates. It was one of the reasons that they'd fascinated her but, at the same time, made her really not like them. Why was Spock so interested in her if this was something that was incredibly private? 

She waited patiently for an indeterminate amount of time, her curiosity warring with her patience. He shook in front of her and she started to worry again for him.

"Do you know how Vulcans choose their mates?" 

Whatever she was expecting, it wasn't that! "I'd assume quite logically." 

Spock's fist lashed out and it slammed against the wall, anger twisting his features and the resulting sound made her jump. She quickly pulled the phaser out and aimed it at him. "Not cool, buddy. How about we swap places."

He quickly looked ashamed at his actions as they circled one another in some form of macabre dance. "Please, don't leave. I would never hurt you. Never." Holding his hands out in supplication, she waited but, she certainly wasn't going to lower her weapon. The air between them was fraught with tension.

Jim clenched her jaw. "Fine but, you'd better start explaining and quickly, Spock. What am I doing here?" 

Hanging his head, Spock's hands closed and opened, stress and shame emanating off of him in waves that seeped into her. It was like she was in tune with him and Jim's hold on her tool for defense started to falter. The muzzle was no longer pointing directly at him, but she still didn't put it away. "What do you want with me and what was with the-" She flushed all the way to the tips of her ears remembering the absolute love and lust that had been transferred to her via his touch telepathy. "-the thing in the restaurant?"

"If you would put away your weapon, I can explain. I will not harm you. You are important." The 'to me' went unspoken.

Jim wanted to believe it. She really did but, she couldn't. Who would really want her to the point of love? Of that powerful of a level of that treasured and coveted emotion. Lust, yes. Love? Not very likely. "No. I'm sorry. Something isn't ok, here and I don't want something to happen that you might regret later."

Spock sighed. He actually sighed and his face pained by her lack of trust. "Very well. Allow me to start at the beginning."

"That's probably a good place to start."

An eyebrow raised in derision and Jim almost laughed. Now that was a look she was familiar with when dealing with vulcans.

"It has to do with biology." 

"You mean sex? The horizontal tango? The beast with two backs?"

"Yes-" He said dryly, ignoring her graphic descriptions. "However, with a vulcan it is more than simply sex. It is called Pon Farr."

Jim shrugged and raised her brows urging him to go on. It's not like blue balls was something to be ashamed of. Hell, human men had them all the time. 

"It is our 'Time'. A time of mating. A time when two beings would join together in mind and body to become one." 

"That's generally the idea even for humans." She adds but, there had to be more for Spock to be acting this...unusual.

"It is a time that even those of our species do not speak of. It is a time of great shame. Our emotional control is stripped from us turning us into nothing more than what our primitive ancestors once were." He uttered the words and it had clearly been an arduous task.

Jim tucked the phaser away but, kept it close. "Humans do this all the time. It's nothing to be embarrassed about. I understand that it's something that isn't pleasant for a race of beings who pride themselves on their level of control but, why would this be something that's so bad?"

His head shot up at her analysis, lips turning down at the corners. "Humans have no concept-nothing similar with the Pon Farr. It is not simply sex." He explained forcefully. "It is mating. It is a time for the Vulcan male, every seven years of their adult life, when they must mate and join with their chosen over the course of several days. It is an animalistic need that cannot be controlled. Normally, our mates are chosen for us as children and when our 'Time' comes then we are able to slake this need and not have the risk of being alone. The reason for this is twofold. During this time, we become unstable, violent to the point we may even kill for our mates and unable to even speak like civilized beings. Our urges become us and we must take a mate. If we do not slake the fires when we enter the final stage, the plak tow, then we will die."

"If you're so dangerous, how do you not risk killing your mate?" 

Spock's fingers tightened to the point his knuckles blanched under the strain and his mouth thinned. He didn't look angry at the question. On the contrary, he looked horrified at the thought. "There is always risk. They must willingly submit. To not do so risks both party's lives."

"Submit?" 

"Yes." He told her solemnly. "It helps to calm the male to have one willing to be a counterpoint, a perfect opposite to the fires. Like water to put out a flame."

"So, you have a mate?" She asked carefully, wary of the answer.

"No." His eyes found hers and they darkened, thin rings of brown around blown pupils. "Maybe." 

"Nobody you can call from home?" She asked weakly.

"No, Sam."

The wrong name on his lips grated. "So you want-" Her mouth was as dry as the desert as the pieces started to line up, clicking like a cog sliding into place. "-you need me to help you?"

"Yes." He keened and he took a step forward.

"Is there another way? We don't even know each other." She protested. 

"I know you better than you know yourself." 

"Not likely." She muttered.

"You are shi'masu. My oasis. One once found after years of searching the desert, it is treasured. Without you I will die as surely as one would die of thirst." Spock told her with a reverence that made her want to believe him, believe these beautiful endearments.

"Spock, I think you have the wrong person." 

Spock's eyes trailed up and down her form slowly and Jim all of a sudden felt too hot and her clothes too tight. 

"There is only one." He told her slowly and her breath quickened at the insinuation.

Jim tried to ignore his words but, it was becoming increasingly hard. He didn't know what he was doing otherwise he would never have picked her of all people. "Uh-so that explains that part." She said lamely. "Do you have someone else you can call?" She asked again, almost hoping for him to say yes but, also wanting him to say no. 

"No."

"Is there another way?" Her throat was tight and she wanted to stay, to help but, she also wanted to run. Spock was right. There was so much more to this.

Spock fell to his knees, the very picture of a defeated man and it made her heart ache. 

"Spock, you can't properly consent." She explained. Her heart went out to him. "There has to be another way of handling this-this thing." She joined him on the floor but maintained a respectable distance.

"There is. I could attempt meditation. If I am successful then I would survive the fires of plak tow."

She sensed he wasn't telling the whole truth. "And how likely would it be that you could do that?"

Raising his head, Jim could feel just how bad it was. "Not likely."

Jim couldn't face him. Her ethics were at war with one another. On the one hand if she helped him through this-this pon farr then she would practically be taking advantage of a man who had no true say in the matter while on the other? He would die without her.

She knew that vulcans weren't fans of other races and it stung that he likely would never have picked her had he had a true choice. "Does it really need to be me?" 

His hand shot out and grasped her bare arm. Everything hit her at once, love, lust, and the very essence of Spock filled her and her own joined in. It was like a feedback loop that reverberated between the two. Perfection, a sense of-of rightness at the connection. It was too much. Too amazing and she wrenched her arm away with a ragged gasp, falling hard back onto her butt. Spock's arm was still outstretched and he slowly closed his hand, bringing it back to rest on his lap.

"Do you not feel it?"

"Yes." She whispered. She truly did.

"It is shan'ha'lak, the engulfment. There are not words to adequately describe it. You are t'hy'la and my perfect match in every way." 

Jim had never felt anything like it and it scared her more than she'd like to admit. "Spock-" Her voice shook and she was ashamed at it. "I-I don't know if I can."

"Please." 

And oh, god! He was begging! How could she say no? "I have to think about it. I just-" Running a hand through her hair, she forced herself to stand. She needed to be the responsible one-the logical one. Jim laughed humorously. How many times had she been able to say that? 

At Spock's stricken face, she wilted. "Spock, I don't know if I can. This is like-" She shook her head to clear it. The urges that he had allowed into her mind still remained and she needed to push it aside. "It would be taking advantage of you and I don't know if I could do that."

"You would be saving me." 

Her shoulders fell. "I know." 

Jim hated herself for having to make this impossible choice. It was wrong. So wrong. She looked him over and felt sick at the sight. Spock's entire body trembled as if he was in great pain, beads of sweat collecting on his brow and she knew that it wouldn't be long before things went to hell. She wanted to help him. She really did but, would she truly be helping him? Would he even want her after or would he be so ashamed that he had done this with a stranger? With a human, no less. 

"Can you hold out until morning?" 

"I believe so." He pointed a shaking hand to the room key. "I will not be leaving here unless I either die or the fires of my 'Time' are tamed. I will await your answer, t'hy'la."

The endearment, for she knew it was one with the way it was emphasized, only served to make her resolve weaken. Grabbing the keys, she did the hardest thing she had ever done. She turned her back on someone who needed her; someone who maybe lived her despite not even knowing her real name.

As she closed the door, she heard a devastated, agonized howl that made the bands of guilt crush her chest and tears sprung to her eyes. They burned and Jim felt she deserved this pain for denying Spock. She needed to think and she needed to do so quickly.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!  
> Well, here it is. The grown up chapter and I only hope that it is a good one. ;) I'm not the best at writing stuff like this because I get nervous. That's why it typically takes me so long.  
> I want to say a huge thank you to the many people who left such kind reviews and I hope that this chapter is *ahem* enjoyed. As always, I welcome constructive criticism and ideas.  
> And...here ya go!  
> DarkWaters

Chapter Three

Jim drove her grandfather's old truck out along the darkened roads and her mind spun like a tornado with everything her and Spock had talked about. The hotel key in her pocket had never felt so heavy. 

She drove to the old abandoned quarry. It was dark and there weren't enough lights to drown out the stars. She couldn't see much apart from the large, gaping, chasm that had been dug into the earth. Hundreds of years ago, humans had started to extract minerals and metals from here to build things and it had caused so much damage. Fifty years ago, they'd started again to use what was left to build starships for the future. 

Like many things, once they'd served their purpose, they were abandoned. Jim wondered if that was what was going to happen here. Spock had said that he needed to mate and Jim had just happened to be there. Was that it, though? She was just convenient? She felt like there had been more but, what if it was just some instinctual thing to entice mates much how like this pon farr thing was a biological thing?

She'd always been a love 'em and leave 'em kind of girl but, this wasn't a case of just two people mutually spending a night together for fun. 

Jim moved to sit on the edge of the open quarry, her legs dangling and picked up a stone and threw it over the edge. She knew that there were so many factors in her decision as to whether or not to 'help' Spock. She just knew he wasn't lying to simply have sex. Vulcans didn't lie. Sarvek, one of the engineers from when the Endeavor had been being built, had explained that to her. There just wasn't any logic in it he'd explained. So, Spock was telling the truth.

Spock clearly didn't know who she was or her affiliation with Starfleet so it wasn't likely he was picking her for any other reason than convenience. That part kind of hurt but, whatever. 

She was human so, that meant that whatever was affecting him was bad enough that he was willing to put aside his people's usual speciest behaviors to accept doing this...thing with a human. 

Then there was the fact that he couldn't properly consent because he was ill. His logic was failing him and he was showing emotion. The only emotions she'd ever seen from the few Vulcans she'd met had been curiosity and scorn for her people and other races. 

But Spock would die if she didn't help him. She may be a bitch sometimes but, she would never let someone die due to something as stupid as biological drive. Jim couldn't let him suffer simply because of her hesitance to have sex with him. It wasn't like she was some kind of prude.

She picked up another rock, it's rough texture making her rub her fingertips over it. Then there was the stupid fact that she kind of liked him even though she didn't know him. There was something special about him. She didn't know what but, there was definitely something. She may have been imagining it but, there had been some sort of connection between them both when they'd touched and when she'd interacted with him.

She tossed the stone up in the air and caught it absently with a frown. God! Was she so childish and naive that she'd put her own cultural and childish wishes and beliefs in something that was clearly a need that had to be fulfilled for Spock? She threw the rock as hard as she could and watched it's progress until the darkness swallowed it up.

This place was where she did her best thinking. Each of her life's decisions she'd made here whether they'd been spur of the moment or had required more time. The first time, she'd been eleven. Fucking Frank had tried to sell the one thing that had linked her to family. She hadn't known that her father's parents had just lived across town, her mother's selfish desire to wallow in pain had kept her away from them and their love. Frank had been trying to sell her father's prized corvette and she would be be damned if something connected her to the man who might have been an integral part of her life would be used to buy booze for the bastard who abused her. She'd made the decision to destroy it rather than letting it fall into his slimy hands.

That had altered her life in more ways than one. Pike had come to visit and had stormed in like an avenging angel when he'd heard Frank taking his anger out on Jim. Frank's reasoning had been that she'd taken away something he'd 'earned' by 'putting up with her for years' and she needed to make it up to him. She'd been almost dead when Chris had scooped her up in his arms, bloody and bruised, after he'd almost killed Frank. It would have been poetic justice if Pike had succeeded. 

Jim shivered at the memory. 

She may have been saved by Pike and he'd promised to take her away from that shitty life but, like her mother, he'd left her for the stars. "Fucking 'Fleet." She threw another piece of rock.

After that, she'd had a choice. Go with a mother who hated her or Tarsus. Now, that had been an easy decision at the time. She'd sat out here for an hour and had made her decision. While it had started off as a wonderful adventure for the first year, things had gone to shit pretty quickly after that. 

The third time she'd visited here had been when she'd been forced to either choose her mom (again) or grandpa Tiberius. Those had been the best years of her life. Jim had never known family and had never been so loved but, like many things in her life, things came to an end where she was left alone again. He'd hung on for her as long as he could and she could never thank him enough for everything he'd done for her. He'd helped her heal from the nightmares of her past and made her into the woman she was today. 

Jim scowled and threw herself back to stare at the stars that had caused so much pain. They seemed to stare down at her mockingly. Grandpa Tiberius would be ashamed at her hesitance. He'd been a man of honor and believed in always doing the right thing much like her. When he told her she was like her father in so many ways there had never been sadness or bitterness but, pride and happiness. 

Spock, though, needed her. She cared about him. He seemed like a good man with a kind soul. When they'd connected, she been able to feel it. It didn't seem like some sort of animalistic drive. It seemed more like a desperation to connect with another. Spock may have been taught one thing but, Jim knew feelings. Vulcans typically abhorred emotion and expressing it so maybe they hated this pon farr thing because it took away their ability to put everything behind a wall. 

Her eyes drifted unconsciously to Eridani 40, Vulcan's star and she tilted her head deep in thought. Maybe Spock was simply projecting emotions he didn't mean to because he knew that she didn't really believe in love in an effort to entice her to agree. Maybe he didn't understand them or know what he was doing. 

The memory of how he'd looked at her with those chocolate brown eyes full of, what Jim believed was, love and devotion swam behind her own eyes and her lips turned up in a small smile. She'd never had anyone look at her like that and, like the masochist she was, she wanted more even if it wasn't real and was only temporary. She could pretend. Really. She could do it for him. It'd be hard to give it up after but, she could do it. After all, he didn't really love her. It was a need. 

Jim's heart ached at that thought. She couldn't let him die. Besides, it's just sex and she was on birth control so it wasn't like she'd have to worry about kids. Old Dr. Pickens had given her her bi-annual shot and exam so she was good. She wouldn't ever see him again anyways. Like everyone else associated with Starfleet, he was destined for the stars and he'd leave her soon enough for them. After this, he'd be gone and she'd have to deal with the emotional fallout and she'd be out of Riverside. It was time to leave this place anyway. 

The sky had started to turn different shades of pink and orange as the sun rose on the horizon by the time she'd decided what to do. Mind made up, Jim picked herself up and got into Tiberius' old, rusty beast and drove as fast as she could back to the hotel where she'd left Spock. She just hoped she'd get there in time. 

xXx

Jim dithered in front of the door and psyched herself up. Her hand that held the key hovered over the sensor and she was still at war with herself despite choosing to do this. There was something more drawing her to him. Words drifted in her mind. *'We meet at the appointed place'* She shook her head to dislodge it. This was a fucking hotel room. It was no more an appointed place than a luxury suite. 

*'T'hy'la'*

The endearment seemed to call her in like a moth to a flame. There was so much love and reverence placed on that alien word. It felt like there was a deeper meaning to it that she just couldn't comprehend. Like standard just couldn't translate it in a way that gave it the honor it was due.

"Get it together, Kirk. Get it together." She whispered. 

The hairs on the back of her neck stood up and her heart pounded in anxiety. What if she was wrong? Spock had warned her that it was dangerous but, he'd also said he'd never hurt her. 

"Damn it." She growled and took a deep breath, steeling herself for the worst and unlocked the door. She stepped in and felt stupid, still wearing the borrowed uniform. Spock had made it seem urgent and she hadn't wanted to keep him waiting any longer than she had so she'd just come here straight after the quarry.

Jim gave a terrified squeak as she was suddenly rushed and pressed against the wall. Not forcefully, but enough that she wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. 

In the low light, she could see dark ebony hair that rivaled the night sky. She couldn't see much more than that with him pressed against her. She felt lean, lithe muscles that reminded her of a dancer but also a strong panther that was a determined and beautiful predator. 

"Hey, buddy." Her voice shook and Jim hated that she was a little scared. She shook herself, remembering she was a Kirk and nothing scared her.

"Sam. Mate. Mine." He groaned and curled towards her in want. 

She must have arrived just in time if he was only speaking monosyllabic words. He was entering his Time, the blood fever, and was at the point of no return. 

"Please." He moaned. And, oh, he was begging! This solidified that she'd made the right choice. Her chest hurt with that one word. She uttered the words she knew he was waiting for. "I accept thee as my mate." She was able to bring an arm up and run it through the silky hair, trailing her fingertips along his temple and ending at his chin. Emotions streamed in too fast for her to make sense of but, what she could understand was a desperate need with affection and happiness underlying it.

He pressed hard against her body and he didn't seem to know where to touch because he'd finally been given permission to claim her for his. Hands roamed all over and Jim let him explore.

"Shi'masu. T'hy'la. I crave thee." He pressed his face against her, nuzzling the crook of her neck and he held her tightly. The deep baritone of his voice sent shivers down her spine. He pressed harder against her and her head bumped the wall with a dull thunk. She immediately went to push him away but he was as immovable as stone. 

Jim tensed ready to fight and stop this but froze when he growled at her. She swallowed against her dry mouth as adrenalin pumped in a fight or flight response at the aggressive display. Closing her eyes, she fought herself and her instinctive response to hurt him to save herself. Her breathing came in static bursts and his grip on her was like iron. A hint of teeth near her jugular and Jim shook but, she didn't sense malice in the actions. Rather it seemed almost ritualistic. An alpha asserting himself.

"Relax." She murmured to herself. "Submit. Submit." She had to. For him. It was how it was done. He'd told her.

Jim forced herself to go limp and Spock hummed in approval and his touch turned gentle, reverent, and loving. His nose trailed up her neck from her collarbone forcing her to arch back exposing the vulnerable flesh to him. Jim kept her eyes closed. She didn't like being this passive. Normally she took the lead in things like this but, Spock had warned her that this was what he needed.

He inhaled deeply as if he was trying to breathe her very essence in. Lips followed the path of his nose, pressing open mouthed kisses along her skin that cause her to shiver for a very different reason. When she felt the rough, wet, alien tongue flick out and trace the shell of her ear it made her knees go weak and Spock took advantage of it. 

Quickly picking her up and taking her to the bed. He laid her down on the soft mattress and Jim made to get up. She wasn't used to being a non-participant and went to try and stay sitting up but, Spock quickly stopped her with a slight growl and she went back reluctantly. 

"Ok. Ok.” She wasn’t sure who she was trying to convince but, it gave her a feeling of control despite her not really having it. He rubbed his hands reverently along her flank, as if he was trying to soothe a frightened animal and it was almost insulting considering just who was acting like an animal, albeit a gentle...frustratingly handsome one. His panting started to become faster and his rubbing a little more forceful and it took a lot of effort to not tense. 

He hovered over her and Jim couldn't tell whether her own breathing or his that sped up was in arousal, excitement, or nervousness. Her emotions were at war within her and she wasn’t sure which one would win.

He grasped the end of her dress, lifting it slowly up, like opening a gift, and over her head exposing her to him slowly. He was so gentle as if he was handling the most fragile of honeycomb that would break far too easily. His breath caught as she was exposed to him, his eyes darkening to black with a thin ring of brown in arousal. Jim gave him an encouraging smile and forced herself to lay back and simply watch. He seemed to like that and she'd never done something like this but, it just seemed...right to let him lead. She felt safe for some reason.

With a low guttural growl, Spock started to speed up his seduction, practically ripping his own shirt off in his haste to be naked. He threw it across the room for it to land in a heap somewhere she couldn’t see. Muscles rippled in barely controlled movements and he was beautiful. She wanted to touch but, she wouldn't until he let her. Somehow, it seemed important to let him do it his way. 

Before she could appreciate the sight in front of her, he descended and pressed his lips to hers. Her gasp gave him the advantage to sneak his tongue in her mouth to twine with hers. He kissed like he probably did everything; thoroughly, intensely, passionately. 

Spock's kissing soon started to become more urgent and his hand started to drift. One had fingers dancing over her skin frantically causing electric tremors of sensation to dance across her skin while the other stroked her fingers. She didn't know what it meant but it seemed significant to him so she carefully rubbed back and he gave a pleased sound in the back of his throat. Her hand felt sensitive at the action and it was like his pleasure was being radiated through the small touch. It seemed more intimate than what they were doing. 

He settled in between her legs and she let him. She opened her legs wider and he purred in happiness at the obvious acceptance and submission. With how close he was, she could feel the heat pouring off of him. He touched every part of her he could reach and she followed his example. She still kept her body still but, gently stroked his back in an effort to comfort him. Every touch of his seemed to build something in her. She could feel excitement and anticipation and a low buzz of arousal that started to settle lower down, making her throb in want. It just felt so good. 

Spock lowered himself and pressed her into the bed. Teeth grazed her shoulder and it stung but, a quick lick in apology soothed it. Kisses were pressed everywhere and he held her left hand still while he lowered the other. His thumb flicked over her nipple and Jim hissed as it hardened in response to his touch. It skimmed across her stomach, dipping lower and rubbed against her underwear that quickly became damp in anticipation of more to come. She jerked in an attempt to get closer and he seemed to understand and liked her doing that, rewarding her with a more purposeful rub against her.

"Sam." He keened and Spock's hips started to thrust in small jerks against hers. Jim frowned in confusion. There seemed to be a certain piece of anatomy...missing for lack of a better word. This seemed to go on for an age and Jim started to feel dizzy and hot from the lack of air. Everything he felt, she mirrored back to him. Her skin was too tight, too hot, and if she was to die then what a way to go. 

He suddenly pulled away and Jim finally was able to get a good look at his chest. Strong muscles defined him and small whorls of hair dotted his chest. It wasn't too different from a human male and Jim inwardly cheered at how beautiful this man was. 

He moved his attention to her breasts, his head dipping and mouthing her nipples through the fabric while deft hands reached underneath to grasp where it connected and there was a sharp snap as the clasps broke. 

"Hey!" Jim started to protest the damage to her bra when he licked his lips obscenely and scooted down her body. She tried to sit up but an insistent hand forced her down. 'Be submissive' it seemed to remind her and she went back willingly with a shaking exhalatation. 

The more he seemed to worship her, the hotter her body became until a full on blush overtook her. She barely had time to react before he ripped her underwear off in one go, exposing her to him. The expression on his face was predatory and it made her want to squeeze her legs together as she started to feel herself become wetter, but he gripped her knee preventing the movement while a finger started to stroke her folds, occasionally dipping deeper but not quite entering. Not yet. Fucking tease.

Jim's head fell back, ragged breaths escaping her as she panted. It felt so good and Spock's eyes pierced her to her very core. He lifted the finger that had been touching her, testing her responses and brought it to his mouth, licking the fluid he had collected. It was so filthy, so obscene that her eyes widened in surprise as he smirked at her. He clearly knew just how much he was affecting her and he most definitely liked it.

Even though things hadn't progressed far, it was one of the most sensual seductions she had ever experienced. She'd expected a rutting animal based on the description he had given of pon farr not...this. This slow teasing, this worship of her body as if she was an altar he was praying to.

He leaned back effortlessly on his heels and started to remove his pants. It was like a show to her, a peacock presenting himself to a mate to gain favor and approval and, oh, Jim definitely approved. 

It was when they were off that Jim paused in confusion and tilted her head. He must have not liked her response because his own head tilted in dismay. She quickly lay a hand on his arm and nodded, smiling in encouragement.

Slim hips tapered to a vee but that was where it ended. A black, wiry thatch of hair was present but slightly underneath there was a slit that was leaking a oily substance like lubrication.

Was she wrong? Was he...female? It wasn't that she had an issue if he was. She'd been with enough women to know how to make it good for both partners. She certainly didn't mind if he was but it was still a bit of a shock.

Spock seemed to sense her confusion and guided her hand towards him. Her fingers carefully touched the slit and that was when she felt a round hardness. It was slick with lubricant and Spock gasped, closing his eyes and shaking. She paused and wondered if she'd hurt him and she glanced up. Spock's eyes were suddenly open and on her, his chest heaving and he looked...hungry. When she continued her exploration she felt something starting to press against her hand until a long column slid out. 

"Oh. Oh! You're a grower!" 

Spock grunted as her hand started to stroke and it continued to extend. His penis had been...inside him? It was long, tinged green, and very hard. It looked like a human phallus except it was bigger than what she was used to and slick. Double ridges under the head bumped against her fingers as she explored him and Spock keened when she twisted her wrist. There were no testicles but Jim didn't mind. It was different but it started to make sense. Spock had explained to her that pon farr wasn't always with a female; that mental compatibility was prized far more than physical need. The fact that he produced his own lubrication made sense now. 

She only got a few more strokes before Spock had clearly decided enough was enough and he grasped her wrists to hold them above her head and, in one stroke, slowly pushed in, filling her completely. A display of dominance and Jim let him. It didn't hurt. On the contrary, it felt good, like he was completing her in their joining and Jim moaned. She wrapped her legs around him and settled her heels on his hips as he began to thrust into her in deep, long strokes. 

She lifted her own hips to meet him, and held on for the ride. She'd never been one to get off on simple penetration but something buzzed under her skin, almost encouraging her to get there. It was wonder out and she could feel herself tightening around him as he started to move faster. Teeth nipped at her neck and the sting was quickly soothed with careful licks as if in apology. 

Oh, god! The way he moved. It was powerful, a display of strength and prowess that caused the tight coil inside her start to tighten. Her knees pulled together and urged him on as he claimed her. He transferred her wrists to one hand, not allowing her any movement as she strained against him and her back arched as pleasure thrummed through her body. Fingers danced across hers and there was a presence that went down her arms and caused a warm feeling to glow. 

His free hand started to go towards her face, fingers outstretched and Jim pulled away. This was the part she wasn't sure of. Opening her body was one thing but her mind? That was terrifying. It was private, but mostly there were things in there; memories and thoughts that could hurt him and that was something she certainly didn't want to happen. Spock saw her reluctance and his face darkened for a moment before he pressed his fingers forcefully against her but he waited and didn't shove in like she thought he would. His thrusting paused and Jim realized what he was waiting for. Permission. Submission. He wanted her to submit. 

She took a steadying breath, closing her eyes and turned into his hand. She had to relax. Relax and trust. He hadn't hurt her so far. Spock had shown nothing but kindness and she only hoped that she'd be able to reciprocate it and not hurt him just like he hadn't her.

His eyes lit up in happiness at the gesture and as his hips started to move again, he pressed into her, his very self into her mind. It was a penetration far deeper than that of her body. His psionic power crashed into her like an ocean wave, wild and untamed, calling to her like the sea would to the shore. There was no destruction, though. His love, joy, and lust for her, and only her as if she was special, rose like a tidal wave and it hit her. It was all-consuming and she realized she wanted it. It was perfect and it seemed to fill every part of her that had ever been missing before. She rose to meet it, the both of them twisting around each other and gold and blue became white.

*'Shi'masu. My oasis. I have found thee.'* The words flowed throw her mind and Jim grasped them with a desperation born of a history of neglect. She wanted this so much. This pure love and devotion that almost seemed real.

She was distantly aware of her body, of his as he plunged into her deep and sure. It was amazing. It was everything. Something in her mind clicked and seemed to settle. Faster than she expected, it was gone but there was still the feeling of utter completeness. He was still there but not. 

Rhythmic exhalations were against her neck and her hands threaded through his hair as they both moved like wild things. She chased her own orgasm. One hand moved down to grip his butt to encourage him to go faster and harder. Powerful muscles flexed under her hand while her other held onto his shoulder. She could feel his approval at her silent request and he worked his hips harder, their sweat slick skin sliding against each other as they moved in tandem. Spock shifted his own hand down to where they were joined and deft fingers traced around her and moved up to where he started to rub against her clit. It was only a few touches when everything exploded around her, her world turning black, then white tinged with gold. Spock quickly followed. One, two, three more pushes and he roared his completion and heat flooded into her. His own release triggered her again and she tensed around him, crying out as her walls fluttered to pull him in deeper which he complied and pushed in to hold himself there.

Spock collapsed against her and breathed hard. His hands had released hers and he held her sides to keep her in place. He twitched inside of her and groaned as another, smaller, warmth filled her. Jim lowered her legs, sighing in pleasure and rubbed his back to calm him. His heart beat wildly in his side against her and he held still. "Las'hark." He whispered and a sense of contentment made her feel happiness. It was perfection and she'd never felt anything like it before.

It was a minute before Jim noticed he wasn't soft inside her. He was still hard.

Jim's eyes widened in surprise and Spock raised his head, a filthy, confident smirk on his face as he slowly thrust again. Jim groaned and lay back to let him do as he pleased and she knew, she just knew he was going to kill her but it was the best way to die.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, morning afters are always interesting!

Chapter Four

There is a soothing warmth curled into his front and Spock instinctively pulled it closer to him, nuzzling into soft skin. His body ached but it is almost pleasant, like one after a satisfying workout. There's also a sense of being content that he hasn't experienced since childhood and he is...happy. A feeling of completeness envelopes him like he's no longer alone in his mind and Spock is at peace. It's when he hears a sleepy noise of someone protesting their movement that he fully realized the enormity of the situation he is in. 

Slowly loosening his hold, he opened his eyes and saw the blonde from the restaurant in his arms. Sam. A slight frown crossed his face in confusion. The name seems...wrong. Seemed wrong? He can't remember the past...how many days?

Turning his head to the nightstand, Spock catches sight of the chrono and it gave him pause. Five days had passed since his last clear memory. His recollection was muddled and fuzzy, filled with fire and fear and desperation but morphing into love, excitement, and serenity. It's disconcerting for him to not have perfect recall. He'd always prided himself on his eidetic memory.

He remembers sun-kissed skin, the bluest eyes, soft lips, and gentle caresses designed to comfort. He remembers her mind as it was joined to his, quicksilver thoughts, beautiful, bright, so perfect, like the sun warming every dark and damaged crevice in his mind and making him whole in a way he'd never thought possible or that he'd even needed. He can sense the bond connecting them in a way more intimate than joining together bodily. It's so strong, bright, and golden. He'd never encountered a brilliant mind like hers. It was a perfect bond, one that had only ever been spoken of in fables from ancient Vulcan, a t'hy'la bond. He knew, then, that he would love her if given the chance. 

The blonde twisted in his embrace and pressed closer to him. She adjusted her position to rest her head on his chest and throw an arm around his middle to place a hand directly over his heart that seemed to soothe her into a deeper state of rest. A sleepy murmur escaped her lips and she sighed as she returned his embrace. While most of his memory was muddled and uncertain, what he did know is that in this moment everything felt...right.

Closing his eyes, Spock can feel the softness of her skin under fingertips that touch her back and the blonde hair that tickled his chin. There was such an utter sense of peace in that moment that he had to force himself to remain still to prevent her from waking so he could hold onto it for as long as possible. Taking a deep breath, he does his best to imprint everything into his memory. There is the sweet, enticing fragrance of apples in her hair, a smoothness to her skin that is reminiscent of a flower's petals, he can even hear her deep breathing signifying sleep. 

His senses are working overtime to take it all in. He turned his focus inward and he could feel her in his mind. This perfect person that is his just as much as his and he knows that he is hers. With every caress, his touch telepathy sings as the bond strengthens even more with every moment they are together. 

The bond between them is thrumming with energy. It's so strong and it feels so right. It was not like the weak, pathetic link that had been between him and T'Pring. It's perfect.

Carefully moving his head to look down at the sight of her, his wife, his bondmate. He is overwhelmed at her trust as she had accepted his proposal of the kun-ut so'lik and it caused his heart to beat erratically in his side. She is so beautiful. So perfect in mind and body as if they had been made for each other. He hadn't been able to fully take in her features during his Time. His mind had been so disordered and his controls had been stripped bare. He had been reduced to little more than a primitive being only focused on claiming his mate to ensure survival.

He was ashamed of what he had done. Normally, it was tradition that a vulcan male would bond with his future wife as a child with the Telan t'Kanlar ceremony in order to build and strengthen the connection between them. This was so that when the time came, they knew each other instinctively and would be able to complete their bond seamlessly. It was practically unheard of for a joining like this. Even in ancient vulcan lore, bonds formed during pon farr without prior preliminary bonds, were usually improperly done and caused problems over time that would require the aid of a healer.

A heart-shaped face framed by wavy blonde hair with delicate features was turned up slightly towards him. Pink lips were curved into a small, satisfied smile. There was a small scar on her chin and light freckles from the sun were dotted across the bridge of her nose like stellar constellations. Her features were so delicate and Spock craved to see her eyes. He remembered vivid blue like a calm summer sky but he could not see it now. There were dark circles under her eyes showing her exhaustion and he did not want to wake her. He wanted to care for her as she had for him. 

A lock of that blond hair fell across her face and Spock carefully maneuvered his arm to be able to bring up his hand as he tucked the errant strand behind her ear. As she wrinkled her nose at the touch, Spock's lips curved imperceptibly into a small smile. He may not remember everything but, he did remember her care and her compassion for him. She did not laugh at him, mock him, or leave him to die. She willingly and selflessly offered herself to him and she didn't have to. She listened to him and believed him when many would have turned away. There had been no judgement or pity. She had accepted him just as he was. 

He kissed her temple, gentle, reverently. 

"'m tired, Spock. Go back t'sleep." Despite her complaint, he could feel nothing but, affection from her. 

"So warm." She murmured and pressed closer to him, their skin in full contact from chest to hip with their legs tangled together. It was...soothing.

A small huff of laughter escaped him as she suddenly spun to face away from him. Sam scooted back and Spock turned as she ensured she was curled into his front in, what humans would call, a 'spooning' position. Every part of them was pressed together and Spock slipped his arms around her to pull her further into him. 

"Like how warm you are. 's nice." 

There was so much to think about. Too much for him right now until he rebuilt his shields and was able to meditate. He'd never considered the possibility that he'd experience the shame of pon farr due to his mixed blood. When his worst fears had come to light, he had believed he was going to die. He'd accepted his fate but, she had saved him.

There was his career to think about and how he would fit Sam into his life but, he knew that he would never abandon his t'hy'la. When they had melded and bonded, he'd been able to see her intelligence, her bravery, her compassion, and her boundless ability to love. It was so powerful that it rivaled the unbridled emotions that vulcans kept a tight lid on. Why was she choosing to be a waitress when she was such a brilliant shining star?

He'd made no preparations in the event that he would ever be bonded or married. There was so much to consider and he needed to discuss this with Sam but, he was so tired. His shields were in tatters and his mind was still severely disordered. His body was weak and he needed time to rest. Running his fingertips over his mate's meldpoints, he felt just how exhausted she was as well. Human's were not built to endure the curse of pon farr. She needed to recover from this ordeal and he would give her this. After all, it was the least he could do for everything she had done for him. They could talk when she woke. 

He fell asleep with his nose pressed to the nape of her neck. He was...happy. He felt accepted for the first time by another other than his mother. Her mind accepted him just as he was. He had felt the affection she felt for him. There had been worry for him and she cared despite not knowing him. She'd ensured his life. 

He knew, then, that he would show her that he loved her if given the chance in a more appropriate setting. Sleep weighed heavily on his mind as the past five days caught up with him. There would be time when they woke to discuss everything. Spock closed his eyes, opening himself to her and drifted into slumber, her thoughts and emotions a comforting lullaby.

 

xXx

Jim's eyes slowly opened and several things hit her at once. First, she was tired and achy as hell. Second, she was wrapped up in a very naked vulcan heating blanket with a possessive arm thrown around her middle keeping her tight against him. Third, she was...happy? Huh. That was new.

Her eyebrows drew down in confusion and it took far longer than she'd like to remember exactly where she was and what had happened. She started to try and wriggle forward only to be gripped tighter to be kept in place and Jim squawked in indignation. She wasn't a teddy bear! 

She could feel a stubbled cheek against the back of her neck and waves of love emanating from the body behind her streaming directly into her mind. It was strange to feel someone else in her thoughts but, it wasn't unpleasant. If anything, it filled the holes in her heart that had been gouged out from the loneliness and heartbreak that had been there her entire life. She knew vulcans were touch-telepaths so it made sense that, with how much skin to skin contact that was currently going on, she'd feel everything he was. She didn't understand just why he'd feel this way. She'd just helped him with his problem, but there was a weird disconnect with her heart and mind; logic warring with her emotions. 

With the fact that he was finally asleep and there was no sense of desperate need, she knew it was finally over. 

Their time together hadn't been all desperation and mating like Spock had made it out to be. While he hadn't been able to control himself, his emotions had tended to be nothing short of affection. In between bouts of sex, there had been tender moments where he'd cared for her, despite her protests, with such a look of utter devotion and gratitude directed towards her that it had made her feel honored to be there and let him do as he wished. 

Sometimes he was docile, letting her control small things to where she could try and care for him just as much as he was for her. Other times, he'd been passionate and possessive when taking her but never hostile towards her, only wanting her willing submission. She'd wanted to give him everything and she happily did.

There were even times when he'd been deathly afraid that she'd leave him and it had torn at her very soul. She knew what it was like to be abandoned and she couldn't bear the thought of doing it to him when he clearly needed her. 

In those moments, he'd clung to her and had made love to her as if he was a man dying of thirst and she was his oasis. It was like a fiery passion that he'd always had hidden deep inside had overtaken his very being. She knew of the history of Vulcan from when she was a curious child. She'd read everything she could when she'd been able to hack into the Starfleet database and Spock was the epitome of a wild, desert warrior of past claiming and caring for his mate. 

When she was too tired to even eat or drink, he'd taken on the role of caregiver with a sense of pride at taking care of what he perceived as his. Spock would hand feed her small pieces of fruit and bread that Jim had replicated in an effort to feed him. He'd never accepted it, though, preferring her to eat it. It was strange being cared for with someone's entire focus being her. He would press the food to her mouth, his expression pleading for her to accept it. When she did, long fingers would stroke over her lips and jaw as she chewed, affection shining through his touch and his eyes. When she refused, he would give her a small warning growl with such a look of disapproval that Jim always complied with a smile to make him happy. She loved feeling his delight through their temporary link when she let him care for her. 

Fingers would dance over her skin constantly and it was like every touch, every look, every kiss was the most sensual experience she had ever had. Sparks had danced over her skin, making everything more real and she craved his every caress. She burned for him.

The raw emotions he showed was unlike anything she'd ever seen and she understood just why it was that their species kept pon farr under wraps. Everything that happened between them had been dictated by such powerful but, primitive emotions. If she moved away, he would be upset and frustrated. If she submitted, he would claim her with love. Oh, there was so much love that she was drowning in it. She knew she loved him back in those moments but, she was very aware of just how short their time together would be.

This love from Spock had to have been manufactured by this madness to attract a mate, much like how animals on Earth would release pheromones to entice their mates. There was no way anyone could love her that much, especially someone they'd just met. 

It took some creative effort on her part to get out from Spock's hold but, she finally got free. The moment she was out from under his arm, a frown of displeasure crossed his face and he started searching for her with grasping motions. 

"Shit!" Jim hissed and she quickly grabbed her pillow to shove into his arms. He immediately snatched it away from her and settled quickly. She smiled fondly as a low rumble seems to emanate from his chest like a cat purring as he hugged the pillow tight against his chest. Jim knew it was a poor substitute for her presence but, she had to go. Spock had told her that pon farr was something shameful and she didn't want him to be embarrassed. 

Anyways, mornings after were awkward as hell for humans let alone something like this for someone whose species prided themselves on their absolute control of their emotions. Pon farr had taken that from Spock for days and she'd been witness to it. She'd felt so much from him constantly and she didn't want him to have to have the reminder of it in the form of the person who'd seen him suffer through it. She knew he'd been deathly serious when he'd said that Vulcans didn't speak of it, especially to outworlders. The backlash they would face if this ever got out to the general public would be astronomical. Hell, even most humans got embarrassed when talking about sex and Spock had been right when he'd said that pon farr was more than simply sex. 

Jim was as quiet as she could be as she snuck around the hotel room but, with it being so dark, she was limited. She didn't want to risk Spock waking because of her doing something as stupid as turning on the light to aid her in her search for her clothing. She wasn't too successful in her efforts though. She found her work shoes and her underwear but, not the uniform she'd arrived in. Her bra was a lost cause though. She'd really liked that bra but, at least she'd lost it to a more worthwhile pursuit that her washing machine.

Her eyes landed on Spock's rumpled uniform and she sighed in dismay. She really didn't have much choice. Hopefully, she'd be able to slip out unnoticed by both Spock and the people in Riverside. People in small towns had such big mouths. 

Slipping on the Starfleet science division uniform, she looked like a child playing dress-up and had been forced to roll up the sleeves and pant legs several times along with cinching the accompanying belt to the last loop. She knew she looked ridiculous but, needs must. It wasn't all bad. A spicy, smoky smell lingered on the fabric reminded her of the incense Spock used and it comforted her, making something seem to curl up in satisfaction at the base of her brain. She blamed sappy sentiment. 

Jim sat on the edge of the bed and gently carded fingers through Spock's silky hair. Her smile grew wider when he sighed and leaned into her hand. "You are a cat, huh?" 

She couldn't help but think how beautiful this man was. As she continued to procrastinate her leaving, she took in his long, elegant, tapered ears, his strong jawline, and she remembered the most amazing, soulful, chocolate colored eyes. They had stared directly into her soul and had made her feel like the most important person in the galaxy. It had been almost addictive.

Small sparks made her fingertips sensitive and Jim imagined she could feel...something? It was like there a rope tying her to him that was protesting her pulling away. 

Over the past five days, she'd experienced Spock's joy, his love, and his affection for her from where their minds had been joined for that brief time. She'd drank it in just as desperate for him as he'd been for her. It had felt to good and so right. It had been like this perfect joining and she had wanted it to be real so much that it had hurt on a base level. They'd looked into each other and it had been almost as if they had been one half of each other, meant to be joined as one together forever, only complete together. 

She so wanted it to be true but, she knew real life wasn't like that. There was no such thing as forever. Her mom had taught her that very well, thank you very much. There was no such thing as soul mates. It was just a lovely fairy tale told to children and she certainly was no child. She hadn't been for a very long time. Hadn't been since she was so young and Frank and Tarsus IV had cruelly ripped it from her.

She continued to pet him, trying to etch his features into her memory. She refused to forget him and the time they'd spent together. Leaning down, she pressed a chaste kiss to his forehead and stood to leave. A low-level buzz settled deep in her mind and Jim shook her head to try and disperse it but it stubbornly refused to budge. It was like this...thing was intertwined with her so completely that it was supposed to be there and she think she wanted it. She did feel guilty for trying to get rid of it, though. Maybe it just a temporary after-effect of pon farr. It'd go away soon enough though.

God, though, she wanted to believe what he felt was real but, she couldn't. Vulcans didn't ever bond with humans or outside their species. She wouldn't let herself get attached no matter how tempting it might be because, when you got attached, that was when things hurt. That's when they'd leave you or die. She'd seen it with her mother and she'd seen it with Pike. No one could ever feel that way about her nor had they ever. She was a nobody. She was damaged goods. He'd only wanted her because it was her or he'd die. It was only logical to try and survive. That's all she was. A tool.

Besides, he was Starfleet. She wanted nothing to do with them and especially nothing to do with a lieutenant in the organization that had dominated and ruined her life. He'd be leaving for the stars just like Winona and Pike had done. 

She'd always hold the time she spent with him in her heart, though. The memories of how tender and passionate he'd been with her and the feeling of being treasured would hold a special place with her. 

After all, she'd never see him again. People always left her in the end.

"Goodbye, Spock, and good luck." 

Straightening herself, she put on her metaphorical armor and placed walls around her heart to keep herself safe. She'd done it all her life and this was no different but, her heart and her mind were at odds with each other. She was forced to blink against the burn of tears. "Stop being such a girl." She growled at herself and took a deep breath to calm herself.

Why did she feel so guilty leaving him, then? Jim made it to the door before looking back at the man on the bed, snuggling her pillow and looking so young and innocent in sleep. "I'm so sorry." She whispered before slipping out.

As she got into her truck, she let the soothing rumble of the engine distract her from her conflicted feelings. She shot off a curt message on her comm to her boss telling him that she quit. She needed to cut ties with where she'd met Spock and somewhere different might be just what she needed. After all, there was Tom's offer on Planet Q and she could get there in six months.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok. Morning after drama! And, yes, I know Jim's choice is totally predictable considering the plot but, meh. I promise eventual sappiness!  
> Also, these are actual symptoms of copper deficiency. There's also, like Dr. Thornton said, symptoms on the other end of the scale. I didn't want to go into those until later on in the story. It'd be a bit much.   
> Hope everyone likes it! :)

Chapter Five

The next time Spock opened his eyes, he did not have to search his rented hotel room to know that he was alone. The side of the bed where Sam had been sleeping was cold so he knew it had been a while since she had left. He could not fully suppress the emotion of feeling rejected at her abandonment. 

He decided to rise and check his messages in the slim hope that his new bondmate had left him some form of correspondence before her departure. After donning his black robe, he flipped open his handheld comm. There were multiple missed calls over the course of the past several days. Mostly from the recently promoted Captain Pike enquiring as to his wellbeing. One from Starfleet Command accepting his change in position from active Starship duty to being placed on standby now as assigned as an instructor at Starfleet Academy on the request and recommendation from Captain Pike. A second one from Command congratulating him on his promotion to Commander and three more messages from his mother. 

There was nothing from Sam. 

It was...confusing for him. To have someone who he had believed felt the same way only leave him was...frustrating and concerning. With the first touch of her mind, he knew it was Shan'hal'lak, love at first sight. The all too short time they had spent together had only increased his love for her and he had believed it was reciprocated. No. He knew it was. The intimate touch of their minds, together and as one, made it impossible to lie about something like this. Finer details may be missed but, this was something that was fact. 

Frowning, Spock wondered if he had hallucinated her. After all, to find one's perfect match randomly, especially during a time when he was undergoing Pon Farr, was unheard of. Perhaps he had been able to meditate his Time away due to his mixed blood. Spock was confident his memories were accurate. He'd seen and felt her, both physically and mentally, when he had first woken last night.

He searched his mind for the link joining him to his mate and, in the back of his mind, he easily located it. It was a comforting warmth that soothed the frayed edges of his mind that he had yet to repair after the ordeal of pon farr. She was a part of him just as he was a part of her. The strength of the bond surprised him. It was a beautiful golden color, two cords intertwined as one. Their compatibility was impossible to deny but, it was limited due to their inexperience at navigating this new connection. While he could still feel the love and affection that had helped create such a miraculous bond, there was a small, sour undertone of fear and uncertainty from her end. 

She was real. Spock had not imagined her existence. She had saved his life in mating and binding herself to him. She helped to heal him during his shameful insanity. Sam had given him the gift of her compassion, her affection, her acceptance, and her love despite not truly knowing him. Spock knew that he could never repay her but, he would spend his life trying to do so.

Sam needed to be made aware of her change in status to that of his bondmate and wife under Federation law. It was also vital for her to learn of the implications of their mental bond and all that it entailed for the sake of both of their wellbeing as well as the future. He did not wish for her to be alone just as he did not want to be.

She was his t'hy'la. 

Spock feared that he had not been able to adequately explain all that their bonding meant during their time together due to his compromised state. She would likely be confused when she sensed their bond and there was no way she wouldn't. It was an integral part of the process of becoming one in Vulcan marriage and vital for a mated pair to have this to be able to be drawn together when the fires returned. It helped maintain a balance between the two, creating harmony and mental wellbeing. To be alone in one's mind was painful for a Vulcan and provided a comfort that was unsurpassed. He only hoped that she felt the same.

He remembered the loneliness that had had been echoed back to him in Sam's mind and it had been so much like his that it caused a visceral reaction in him to want to soothe her and protect her. He wanted to cradle her mind in his and keep her safe from the hurts that plagued her thoughts. There had been so much pain and he desperately wanted to take it away and give himself to her to show that he was there for her. 

But he couldn't do it all. He was limited due to distance and lack of experience in navigating their bond. Normally, a mated pair stayed together to learn this together. While it would not cause them any damage by being unable to do this, it wouldn't help things.

She was gone. Perhaps he had frightened her away?

His face flushed hot at the memory of his behavior. He had not exactly been at his most logical or had the skills to inform Sam of everything. He had wrongly assumed that she would still be present when he woke because of her human frailties and the need for her to recover. Kaiidth. What is, is.

He would, however, need to locate her to do so and undertake the responsibilities to her as her bondmate. It was his right to do right by her. 

Where to begin, though?

His eyes fell on the waitress uniform crumpled under the edge of the bed. Picking up the wrinkled fabric, Spock noticed the name tag which confirmed her identity and a location. It was a start.

The logical place begin to his search would be where they had first met. Though, his memories of his encounter were surrounded by a cloudy haze, he did know that it would unlikely that she would no longer be there. While many humans tended to have their actions dictated by emotion, he did not believe that she would go to the extreme of abandoning her place of employment. However, he considered that perhaps he should expect no less. Sam was nothing, if not unpredictable and seemed to have the skill to surprise and challenge him. 

After replying to the multitude of correspondences he had received while he had been indisposed, he meditated for two point four five hours to rebuild his mental faculties and repair his shields as best as he could when limiting time to do so. He could not risk being compromised while he searched for his t'hy'la. He needed all of his considerable skills and intellect in place to succeed.

xXx 

The restaurant he had dined at with Captain Pike was of dubious cleanliness and he would not have chosen it. It was, what humans would describe as, 'retro'. The exterior was constructed of a shiny metallic material with the moniker "Joe's Eats" in neon lettering currently not lit during daytime hours.

The inside was of a similar construct with red upholstered booths and chairs, Formica tabletops, and complete with a counter facing the kitchen. The noise level was unpleasant to his sensitive ears. The first duty shift at the shipyard was set to begin in 1.37 hours so the restaurant was full of patrons, enlisted crewmen, and Starfleet officers getting their morning meal. The cook in the back was shouting out orders and pushing prepared food through the opening in the kitchen to the waiting employees. Multiple servers were seamlessly navigated the crowded dining room, large trays laden with breakfast foods balanced effortlessly on their arms. It was an impressive display of chaotic organization that seemed to work.

Spock well remembered Sam's mind despite his questionable memory. There had been such blinding brilliance that it had matched his own considerable intellect. Rapid fire equations and facts had been organized in her mind in an unusual and illogical fashion but, it had seemed to work for her. She had clearly been a student somewhere to amass such knowledge. He may have not been able to fully absorb everything that had been there but, what he had seen had been...beautiful. Looking around, he was curious as to why she would choose to work here when she had the skills and education to do so much more.

It was not to say that those working here were unintelligent. They were but, he sensed that Sam would have been one to rise to more of a cerebral challenge. It was not logical and, for some reason it bothered him that she was here rather than widening her horizons. She should not be here. 

"Can I get you a table, hon?"

Spock's attention was jerked away from his thoughts and observations to a young brunette woman in a waitress uniform that was an almost exact replica of Sam's that was still in his hotel room. Pale yellow with short sleeves and the dress reached to just above her knees with a small black apron but, unlike Sam's, there was no name tag. 

"I am attempting to locate someone."

Green eyes, so different from the sapphire blue of his bondmate's, lit up with humor. "Aren't we all." She started to chew gum and made obnoxious popping noises with her mouth. 

"She is an employee here." He clarified but, she seemed unmoved.

"Look, if you don't want a table then I'ma gonna have to ask you to leave unless you want something to eat. It's rush hour and we're packed."

Spock wasn't expecting hostility to such a simple enquiry. It was vitally important that he locate her. "Very well. I would like a seat at the counter and to speak with the owner of this establishment."

She rolled her eyes but acquiesced, guiding him to a seat facing away from the main room and placing an old-fashioned laminated menu listing the various dishes offered. 

"Can I get you something to drink?" 

Human beverages were not a preferred choice but, he had grown accustomed to them during his time serving with humans. "Black tea." 

Spock spun in his seat and was dismayed to not see Sam anywhere but, he had not anticipated seeing her after her early morning or late night departure. 

When the waitress returned with his tea, he halted her. "I would appreciate it if I could speak with the owner of this establishment. It is important that I locate this person." 

Perhaps she saw the plea in his eyes and he experienced relief when she nodded. The brunette's demeanor changed, her shoulders lowering, a sympathetic smile on her face. His classmates in his youth had always said he had human eyes. Spock preferred to think of them not as common as any human's but, instead, unique and inherited from his mother.

"I'll see what I can do. Joe's in the back helping so he may be a bit." Pulling out a small notepad from her apron, she held it up. "While you're waiting, would you like something to eat?" 

At the mention of food, Spock realized he was hungry. In his haste to search for Sam he'd neglected to eat and it had been several days since he'd last taken in adequate nutrition. While he would normally not eat at a place like this, he did not want to offend her. 

He quickly placed a simple order and waited impatiently to, hopefully, gain the answers he sought.

It was not long before a plate was placed in front of him by a rotund, balding man. "We don't get many aliens here round these parts."

Raising a brow at the unusual and random statement, Spock waited for him to continue. 

"Joe Thompson, owner and manager." 

As he held out a hand in greeting, Spock briefly contemplated not taking it. It wasn't that his hands were considered erogenous zones by many despite common belief by some but, they were sensitive and used as the gateway to their touch telepathy. He eventually held out his hand and accepted the fact that he had to raise his shields to respect the human cultural tradition. "Commander Spock, Starfleet."

"Now, what can I do for ya?" 

"I am searching for a woman who works in your establishment. Her name is Sam and she was present when I was last here five nights ago. I request your assistance in locating her." 

Rubbing a hand on his stubbled chin, Joe frowned. "What do you want with my daughter?" 

Another surprise. "Sam is your daughter?"

"Yeah. Only she was off that night." He pointed to the brunette who had taken his order. 

Spock's brows drew down in frustration as he followed the man's finger pointing to her. "That is not her. She had blonde hair, blue eyes, and was approximately 1.575 meters."

Joe's expression matched Spock's and a shout from the kitchen caused him to start to become distracted. "Well, I ain't got any Sams matching that description. Sorry." Throwing a thumb over his shoulder, he made his way back to the kitchen after excusing himself.

Spock wasn't sure what to make of this latest development but, he was, if anything, patient and persistent. 

It was when his eyes drifted to behind the counter that he recognized the man who had been working with Sam the night they had met. His memory may be foggy from that time but, it wasn't totally incomplete. Perhaps he would be able to find the information he sought with him.

The server met his eyes and slowly made his way over. "Hey, you were in here a few nights ago."

"Correct."

"We don't get many aliens around here."

"So I have heard." He said dryly.

Shrugging, the young man waited. "What d'ya need? You look like a man on a mission."

Steeling his fingers, Spock leaned forward. "Indeed. I am seeking the location of Sam."

The server frowned in confusion, opening and closing his mouth giving Spock the impression of a fish. "Sam? Uh..."

Spock had to forcibly restrain his sigh of frustration. "Yes. Blonde hair, blue eyes, approximately 1.575 meters."

Understanding dawned on his face for a moment but, his expression quickly turned neutral. His lips thinned and the vulcan knew that it would be unlikely he would gain an appropriate answer. "Yeah, she doesn't work here anymore."

That was...interesting. "Do you know where she may be?" 

"If she left without telling you then she probably didn't want you to call her again."

That was a possibility that he had considered. "It is vital that I contact her. Can you tell me her full name?"

"Sorry, man. Can't help you there." The server shook his head and Spock could see that it was in the human emotion of disbelief. "Never thought she'd be one to go for a Starfleet officer, let alone a Vulcan one. I guess each to their own."

That was confusing. "Why is that?" 

Sighing, he shifted from foot to foot. "Look, dude, she's gone." 

"Where?"

The brunette server's expression turned to one of pity. It was strange for him to see so many emotions displayed so openly. He had grown up on a planet where non-expression was revered and practiced diligently however, he did see hatred frequently displayed by his Vulcan peers towards his person. 

"She's planning on going off planet. Probably left by now. Didn't say where either."

It was as if he'd been punched in the stomach despite knowing that simple words could not physically do so. He struggled to maintain the facade of calm. How would he find her now? Especially when he could not even gain her full name? 

"Mark!" The human in front of him jumped to attention and, before Spock could appeal to him for information again, he had shrugged and left. 

He looked down at his plate. The eggs had congealed and gone cold. It was not only the food that caused his hunger to vanish. The lack of knowledge as to where his bondmate was had left him bereft. 

There were millions of Sams, millions of blonde women, millions of variations of the name, and millions upon millions of combinations using the only name he had with different last names. His search would be even more complicated now that she was potentially off planet. How would he ever locate her? He hadn't been able to explain everything to her since she'd left while he had been asleep. 

He forced himself to eat the food placed in front of him. It was like he was eating sawdust. Spock knew he needed more resources than what he currently had. It was fortuitous then that he had recently been assigned to Starfleet Academy on Earth. He would have access to more data and would stand a better chance of locating Sam. 

He would find her. After all, Vulcans were a patient and meticulous species and Spock was no different. He would not fail. He could not fail. She was his t'hy'la.

 

xXx Two weeks later xXx

 

Jim felt off. 

There also just seemed to be...something always there at the back of her mind. It wasn't bad. If anything it was nice in some aspects. This thing reminded Jim of the kitten she had found when she was little. Button had always followed her. The small animal had been so warm and soft when she'd held her and snuggled with it as a child. Buttons had always given her comfort even during the darkest of times. She had loved her so much and he had loved her in return. Wait-what? Jim shook her head violently. That wasn't right. No. She had loved her in return. Her not him! God, what was she thinking? She. She. Not he. She almost felt like she was going crazy.

Jim held her head in both of her hands with her eyes close. She'd been battling dizziness that had been bothering her for the past few days. She'd also started to notice several other weird things that were worrying her and so she'd decided to see her doctor. 

She was just always so tired. No matter how much she slept, it was never enough. Her body just felt used up. She kept stumbling and couldn't really remember things half the time. Add to the fact that she was sick as a dog. Her chest felt tight and she'd developed a slight wheeze that was annoying as hell.

Her primary doctor was a Dr. Thornton. He was an older man and a bit old fashioned but, kind. He had been her doctor from when she had moved in with her grandparents. His hair was snow white and he had bushy eyebrows and a matching mustache that reminded her of caterpillars that looked like they'd settled on his face and had never left. He had a kind face and, when she was little, had always given her a lollipop after her exams. It was so corny that she had liked him instantly. He also used to be a professor that would take young doctors under his wing and train them to be the best in all ways at the local hospital. 

"Ok, Jamison. I just need you to lie back on the table so I can check a few things."

She'd always hated this part of exams and shivered in the paper gown and shorts in the cold room. It was weird. Doctor Thornton always kept the exam rooms at a higher temperature for patient comfort but, she wondered if he'd changed the practice. Then again, she'd been cold a lot lately. Jim had taken to wearing long sleeves despite it still being early summer.

As he palpitated her lymph nodes, her abdomen, and even checked her feet, she held herself rigid. It wasn't like she didn't trust him. Jim actually trusted and had the utmost respect for Dr. Thornton otherwise, she'd never see him. She just really hated doctors in general. He then moved on to the scanning portion of her exam. He pressed a few buttons on the side of the bed and a holographic representation of her body hovered above her with several bright orange and yellow spots highlighting certain parts of her anatomy. 

Her hips, left lung, front of her neck, brain, spine, eyes, and lower abdomen were lit up like a morbid Christmas tree. She'd never seen something like that before even after her first exam from when she'd come back from Tarsus.

"Okay. Can you sit up for me?"

His bushy eyebrows drew down in a serious frown and Jim hadn't seen that look since her first appointment with him. "What's wrong?"

"I just want to check a few other things to confirm my diagnosis." He tried to give her a reassuring smile but, it fell flat. Doctor Thornton placed a small device on Jim's chest, intelligent eyes taking in the readings as Jim followed the instructions to breath when requested.

He moved on to check her reflexes and his scowl deepened, only serving to make her more suspicious. 

He then went to examine her lower belly with another device that she'd never seen before. Jim lifted her gown and he placed the sleek, silver scanner onto her bare skin. There was a beep and Thornton's lips thinned at the result.

"What's wrong?" 

"Just a minute, Jamison. I have one more test to perform and then I have a few more questions for you." Sighing, he reached over to the cart in the corner of the room and Jim grimaced, knowing what was in there.

"I just want to get a blood sample and double check what I suspect is going on." He said kindly.

"Dammit." Jim grumbled and the older man chuckled at her reticence.

After he'd gathered four tubes of her blood, he sent two off with a nurse and placed the other two into the in-room analyzer. 

While they were being scanned, he spun in his stool and rolled to sit next to her. "Now, Jamison, what exactly brings you here?" He wagged a finger at her. "And be honest. I know when you're lying, kiddo. I've known you for far too long for you to get away with it." He admonished with a gentle smile which caused her to roll her eyes.

"My chest is a bit tight."

"And..." He prompted.

Rolling her eyes, she continued. "I'm also tired a lot so I think I have a cold but it's different."

His brows drew down at her limited answers. "Thats not all, is it."

It wasn't a question.

Her lips turned down at the corners. This was why she hated doctors. They always knew everything and the knowledge that they did made her feel exposed and vulnerable. "Fine. I keep stumbling and my hips hurt." 

He hummed in acknowledgment. "And how's your memory?"

She hadn't really thought about that. She actually had been forgetting things but she'd attributed it to being tired. "Not the best."

"I thought so." The computer beeped as it finished it's analysis and Dr. Thornton spun around and quickly scanned the results.

Jim could see it wasn't good by the way his shoulders slumped.

Once he faced her again, Jim's expression matched his but, she tried to smile to diffuse the tension in the room. "So? What's up, doc?" Old cartoons had been a staple thanks to Tiberius but, her doctor ignored her sad attempt.

"There's actually a few things going on." Turning on the large screen at the side of the biobed, Jim could see the many areas that were lit up. He pointed at the circle on her lower abdomen. "First, you're pregnant. I'd say congratulations are in order but, I'm not sure whether it's appropriate or not considering you'd chosen to be on birth control to try and prevent this exact scenario." 

Jim laughs and shakes her head in disbelief. "That's not possible. The shot I get is good for six months. You told me so and I only got it last month."

Thornton's lips thinned into a white line and the wrinkles around his eyes deepened at her refusal to accept his diagnosis. "If you'll remember, I told you it was effective against most species. Not all. Your scan is showing that you've got a little passenger in there hitching a ride." He argued.

It wasn't possible. He had to be wrong but, something told her he wasn't. Dr. Thornton would never lie to her. Jim's vision started to tunnel and her breathing sped up. "Bullshit you told me that!"

A hand started to push her head in between her knees and her feet were placed on the extension board to raise them to give her more support. His hand remained on her back, a steadying point of contact. "You had to choose this shot because the cheap ass insurance that Joe provided limited your options. It was only effective for preventing pregnancy against iron-blood based species. His ignorant ass assumed that it was good enough since copper-blooded species were rare that it wouldn't happen." He paused and his hand started to rub small circles on her back to comfort her but, in spite of it, her eyes started to burn with angry tears. 

When the blonde was able to control herself, she sat up, pulling her knees to her chest and scrubbing her eyes with the heels of her hands. "I-I don't remember." Jim said nervously.

Sighing, the doctor started pointing to her blood test results. "This little one is actually the base cause of why you're having a lot of the problems that you are. Your blood test shows that you're suffering extreme iron and copper anemia."

Narrowing her eyes, she tilted her head in confusion. "Why? I would have thought that it'd only be copper that's the issue."

"That's a common misconception. Copper deficiency affects a lot more than what you'd think. First off, copper is essential for absorbing iron in the gut from what you eat or even what you would take in from vitamin supplements. When copper levels are low, the body will absorb less iron, causing iron deficiency anemia, a condition which makes the body less able to carry less oxygen to its tissues." His eyes found her's. 

"This also explains your tiredness and fatigue." He continued. "Additionally, cells use copper to generate adenosine triphosphate, the body's main source of energy. Fortunately, the anemia caused by copper deficiency can be fixed."

"Okay, what else?"

He moved onto her chest. "You've also got a mild chest infection which can be treated with antibiotics. Copper plays an important role in maintaining a healthy immun system. When copper levels are low, your body struggles to make immune cells. This will reduced your white blood cell count which compromised your body's ability to fight the infection."

He the pointed to her hips. "You've also got the beginnings of osteoporosis which is also reversible thanks to the advances in medical science today. Copper is involved in processes that create cross-links inside your bones. Those cross-links ensure bones are healthy and strong. What's more, copper encourages the body to make more osteoblasts, which are cells that help reshape and strengthen bone tissue."

How the fuck wasn't he taking a breath? 

Pulling back, he faced her and Jim started to worry. "Now, your other issue is walking, yeah?" 

It wasn't a question. His pointer finger touched and enlarged the spine image and she nodded in agreement. 

"People with copper deficiency also have this symptom because it maintains the health of the spinal cord. Enzymes use copper to insulate the spinal cord, so signals can be relayed to the brain and body. It causes these enzymes to not work as effectively and efficiently. It will cause loss of coordination and steadiness."

"Cold, too?" He asked, sympathetic.

Jim closed her eyes in defeat. 

"Your thyroid is-"

Jim interrupted. "Let me guess. It's messed up, too."

He nodded. "Copper, along with other minerals, help maintain thyroid function. Your thyroid helps regulate your metabolism and heat production. That's why you're feeling more sensitive to temperature changes."

This was getting very old, very fast. "What else?"

"You said you're struggling with memory issues."

"You know this." She growled.

He raised a brow at her insolent tone. "Copper deficiency can make it harder to learn and remember. It plays an important part in brain function and development and it's used by enzymes to help supply energy to the brain, aid the brain's defense system, and relay signals to the body." 

Jim's eyes darted back and forth between the screen and her doctor. The loss of her mind had always terrified her, to lose her memories or the ability to learn and remember? It was an integral part of who she was. 

Then it made sense as to the weird 'thing' in her mind that she'd been feeling. It was this copper deficiency! It made her feel these things. Her chest tightened in a way that wasn't due to her chest infection and it was like a lead weight had dropped into the pit of her stomach. Some of it she had actually liked. That wasn't right. She'd loved it. It had made her feel safe and secure but, if it was going to make her sick then it needed to be fixed. She just...didn't like the idea of losing it. It had made her feel so complete, so wanted, and loved. 

He pointed to her abdomen. "Now, this deficiency is going to do the same to the baby you're carrying if the imbalance is not corrected and done so very quickly if you're planning to continue this pregnancy and carry to term." He leaned back and Jim hugged her knees tighter to her chest making her into a tight ball. Did she want to continue this? 

"Now, I'm gonna assume it was a Vulcan you were with?"

She nodded, very cautious. 

Holding up his hands, he gave her a reassuring look that matched everything she knew about him. Everything from his ridiculous bow tie to his goofy suspenders that he always wore set her at ease. "I'm not judging. I just needed to know for your health and that of the baby's if you want yo continue." Dr. Thornton shook his head in amazement. "You must have some luck. Normally, a human female is only fertile two days out of the average of twenty-eight so it's still a challenge to get pregnant even then. Interspecies pregnancies like yours, especially with vulcans, are exceedingly rare and difficult to conceive as it is when the two parties are trying." 

Jim's lips twisted. "I feel real lucky, doc." She quipped.

He grew serious and straightened his white coat and Jim knew that their talk was going to turn even more unpleasant. "I need to know. Do you want to continue this pregnancy. The more advanced it becomes, the more risky it will be to safely abort."

God. That word alone made her feel even sicker than she did. Abort. 

Abortion had never really been a thought in her mind before. Hell, she'd never even considered she'd get pregnant, let alone have to consider one. Did she want to? Did she want to have a baby or did she want to abort? 

"Now, if you do want to abort then the issue of your anemia would be resolved easily with supplements and with stopping the pregnancy. If you were to continue, it'd be more of a challenge but, doable as long as it's managed correctly and carefully." 

"I don't know." She reluctantly admitted. She hated being unsure. Normally, she had a leaping before looking mentality but, this seemed different. 

"Well, in the meantime, I recommend increasing your copper intake with your diet. I'll provide a list of foods safe to eat with your allergies which will be limited but, I can prescribe a supplement for you to take. You'll also need iron-rich foods to combat the risks of it hindering absorption so it'll be a combo of hypos-don't whine-and oral tablets. All of the complications that you would suffer with from copper deficiency, the baby would go through as well. It's a serious problem.

You'll also need a round of antibiotics that'll be safe to take during pregnancy." He frowned and she knew it was gonna get worse. "I also recommend getting injections directly into the umbilical cord of the fetus or, more accurately at this stage embryo. It'll be absorbed slowly by the baby and limit your exposure at the same time. It'll minimize copper toxicity for you which would bring forward a whole host of new problems. It's risky though and can go very wrong."

Jim squirmed on the table. Fucking shots into her stomach? "Risks?"

"Miscarriage, the needle could slip and flood your uterus with the copper and kill you with sudden toxicity, the vein could be missed and it be injected into the tissues and then the baby could not get what it needs. There's also a major risk of you suffering from copper toxicity if the balance is even a little off in your supplements. You'll need constant blood work and careful monitoring. That can cause a whole host of other problems." He lay a hand on her shoulder and leaned down to force her to meet his eyes. "You need to consider everything before making a decision." 

"Would you be my doctor if I decided to continue?" Jim hated how small and vulnerable her voice sounded just then.

Sighing, Dr. Thornton gave her should one squeeze before reseating himself. "Obstetrics isn't my specialty. Especially, higher risk ones and those of mixed species. I recommend going to San Fracisco to Starfleet Medical to get your care. They're more knowledgable and specialized in Interspecies prenatal and postnatal care." Jim growled at the thought. "If it's cost that's an issue then it won't be one because of your family having served."

"No way." She snapped.

Thornton sighed, frustrated, rubbing a hand over his face and looking far older than his years. He knew of her history and feelings regarding them. "Fine. I do have an associate that's local that might be able to help. He's handled mixed species pregnancies but, I do know for a fact that he's never dealt with a Vulcan-Human hybrid pregnancy before. In fact, I don't know of any doctor who has. Go see him as soon as possible whatever decision you make." 

"Thank you." Jim was sincere in her gratitude at his respect of her choice. 

Picking up his PADD, he quickly typed out a few things. "I've sent your prescriptions out to the pharmacy and forwarded the info regarding Dr. Sotero. You need to get an appointment within the next several days to start the injections. You still have a choice even after treatment so don't feel pressured. I will support you no matter your decision."

Jim's nod was jerky and her head was spinning with what she had to think about. Fear, confusion, and uncertainty twisted around her. The thing in the back of her mind seemed to react to her distress and a feeling of calm, unbelievable love, and warmth enveloped her in a sort of warm blanket. The tightness in her chest eased making it easier to breath and think. 

"I do have one more question." 

Jim's head shot up.

"Being a single mother is sometimes hard enough for regular human pregnancies, let alone one that is more complicated like yours. Then there's the end result of a mixed-species child and that can be extra difficult due to the backward, ignorant, speciest behaviors many around here exhibit." He said the last part of his sentence with obvious disgust directed at those who would potentially make her life, and that of her (maybe?) child hell. 

"There also aren't many doctors who specialize in xenobiological medicine around here so you need to take that into account. It'll be difficult to find someone to adequately care for him or her medically. I couldn't do it even if I wanted to which I would. I'd love to help but, I just don't have the skills or knowledge. I can refer you to someone but, I still think SFM would be the best choice."

Jim nodded at his advice. The weird presence in her mind was helping keep her calm and it was so weird to have support even if it was some weird symptom of her anemia. She desperately didn't want to lose it after...whatever was going to happen. Jim wanted to hold onto it and keep it safe.

"I want you to also consider how you're going to raise him or her. You're going to need to think if you want to or even be able to include the cultural beliefs of his or her species to give a fair balance." He advised. She knew he was right and she wondered about being able to handle this added challenge if she had the baby. 

 

His expression turned grim. "Also, since the child is half-Vulcan, then there will be a damn good chance that child will have telepathic abilities even with it's mixed heritage. You need to prepare for that possibility and have a good plan in place. Now, I don't know a lot about vulcans because they're really secretive about their abilities. I do know that some things based on other, more open, species. Proper telepathathic care, loving connections, and educating the child in how to control their abilities is vital to cognitive, behavioral, and neurological development." His tone turned sympathetic and curious at the same time. "Is the father in the picture to be able to help?"

Jim's mouth quirked in sadness. "He's not an option for me."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!  
> Well, another chapter (finally) is here. Now, there's a TON of inner dialogue and I'm sorry about that. We're about to get to the action and thank you for your patience.  
> Darkwaters

Chapter Six

xXxThree Months Later After RiversidexXx

Spock stared at the computer screen in front of him, no longer seeing the text. He had been starting to create his lesson plans for the Fall semester coming next month but, he had been distracted as of late. Even meditation did little to relieve the tension and assist him in focusing on current events. His efforts to find Sam had not been fruitful as of late. His frustration at not being able to find his t'hy'la so far was overwhelming. 

There had been moments that he had received faint impressions of emotion from his mate through their bond. It was distressing to him and made him feel helpless that many of them were negative ranging from full blown panic to depression. He'd been doing his best to try and focus on the strained link between them to soothe her distress. He only hoped he had been successful. 

Over the last two months, though, there had been growing moments of happiness and excited anticipation but, they had always been overlaid with worry. It was...confusing to feel so many conflicting emotions cycle through in such a short amount of time. There had been a time in his youth when his parental bond with his mother when he had felt similar sensations. It was a rare occurrence but, he and his father had frequently been able to ease the more negative to comfort her. In her case, isolation had been the more frequent one and Spock had understood that since he had struggled with that particular feeling as well. 

He closed the screen showing his lesson plans and decided to return to going through the latest list of data he had obtained. He had been granted access to the cameras inside the hotel but, had only been successful in catching the top of her blonde head due to the low quality security system. It gave him an accurate height and weight assessment. She had left wearing his uniform shirt. There had been a strange, primal sense of pride that she had used his clothing.

Spock had been attempting to condense the information he had been searching through by employing facial recognition software from his limited memories as he created an approximate sketch of her and combining it with the one name he had, including variations of it as well as the possibility of it being her "middle" name. It had been unsuccessful. As a result, he was forced to go through each person individually. 

Sighing, Spock steepled his fingers under his chin and started his search once more. "Computer. Display list number two thousand five hundred and six starting with image seventeen." His computer chimed and Spock began looking through the latest set of public record pictures of listed females matching his search criteria for Sam. He could not lose her. He needed her much like he needed air to breathe. She was his everything. Their minds had been instinctively drawn together, recognizing the possibility that they could be so much more.

As he searched, Spock considered his current situation. On Vulcan, one would usually not know their mates until their first Ponn Farr except by name and a picture. Many preferred distance until they were bonded since there was no logic in spending unnecessary time together. It was simply how it was. After, they would join the more affluent clan and become bondmates. Spock had told Sam that they would join minds but, in his compromised state he had not explained the full implications of doing so with his mate during his Time. 

Perhaps part of the reason for not explaining the implications of Pon Farr in regards to the creation of a marriage bond had been a subconscious and instinctual desire to not lose her and keep her close; to not frighten her away. He had known she was skittish. Had he been in full possession of his faculties, he would explained that it was possible to break the bond with an experienced healer at the Vulcan Embassy on Earth in San Francisco. 

He could feel her, even from such a great distance and lack of practice with controlling and using their bond. It was almost unheard of. The thought of breaking such a perfect and strong bond left him with a sick feeling of fear and dread if that were to happen. It would be extremely painful for both parties but, it would be possible. Spock knew that humans were frequently nervous when it came to such things as mental bonds as they did not do so with their own chosen mates. Human marriage was a pale imitation of the deeper bond they shared.

Spock pulled up the next screen of pictures with a swipe of his fingers. He had been forced to expand his search to surrounding areas after he had gone through all of the listed possibilities in Riverside. He had been able to decrease the overwhelming amount of pictures and data he needed to sort through with the small amount of information he had. 

Unfortunately, there was still an overwhelming amount of people with the name he had been given. Recently, he had come to discover a disturbing possibility. It had been explained to him that humans sometimes employed the use of, what they called, 'nicknames' rather than their given names. It had forced him to consider that Sam may not have given her birth name and he may have to start his search all over again, this time looking at every single human female with blonde hair and of her approximate height and weight. 

Closing his eyes as if in physical pain, Spock was ashamed to feel the emotion of despair. He took a slow breath to calm himself and pushed aside the disturbing thought that he may never find her. 

Pressing his lips into a thin, white line, Spock went to collect a cup of an orange spiced tea his mother had introduced him to. It always had the effect of calming him when he struggled with an internal struggle. 

Going through the monotonous motions of preparing the tea in the kitchen helped. It was something simple compared to the monstrous task of finding his missing bondmate. He allowed the warmth to seep into his hands as he held the mug close and thought over the devastating implications of Sam's leaving him. What if she was hurt or worse and he wasn't able to protect her because of not knowing where she was? He was unsure as to what he was going to do once he left Earth for the Enterprise considering she was a civilian but, as his mother would say, one thing at a time.

There was a distinct possibility that she honestly did not want the bond much like T'Pring on Vulcan had not. While his memories of their time together were not clear, Spock was certain of one thing, though. This was unlikely. While she had not understood the facts or knew all that it had entailed, he had sensed her joy at their joining. There had been a happiness that she had no longer been alone that mirrored his own feelings. And despite their connection being weak, he was somewhat successful in alleviating the more negative emotions she broadcasted. He was still limited due to distance and lack of contact. If a mate was truly against being bonded, whether or not they were aware of the connection, it would cause both parties extreme pain through rejection. It was an unlikely scenario that she would refuse the bond but, one he needed to 'keep in mind'.

As he settled himself back at his desk to continue his search his terminal lit up with an incoming call. A comforting warmth settled in his chest as he saw the identity of the caller and he pressed accept.

"Mother." 

His screen changed from the silver Starfleet emblem to show his mother and Spock refused to suppress the small smile as he gazed at her with fondness. 

*"Kan-bu."*

He could see that she was in her study, her usual head scarf discarded to show her short hair and soft brown eyes, so much like his own, filled with love as she looked at her son. 

*"I wanted to tell you I am so proud of you."* Her smile showed such happiness for him. She had always been a driving force for him to do better to show his heritage of both species was as strong as anyone else's. *"How are you settling in at the academy,"* She smiled wider, *"Professor Spock."* She added with a wink.

"I am adjusting well." He paused, unsure of what to say. "It is...different from my past assignments." 

Frowning, Amanda scrutinized her son. She had always had a singular skill at being able to read him. *"There's something else, isn't there."*

Spock looked away from her. He wasn't quite sure how to tell his mother of what transpired in Riverside. It was not a subject that was ever discussed; even among his people. 

"I-" Taking a deep breath, he faced her. "I met someone." It was as accurate of a description as he felt comfortable revealing.

*"Oh?"* Leaning forward, interest and curiosity lit her delicate features. *"Someone important?"*

"Very important." He confirmed.

Raising a brow, his mother tilted her head in curiosity. *"A colleague or a friend?"*

How to explain? While Sam was his bondmate and wife under Vulcan and Federation law, he was not sure how to explain his change in status just yet. Things were too uncertain. "Perhaps a friend but, I am sure she is, and will be, more."

Shaking her head, he could see that she was interested. *"You're going to have to help me here, Spock. Who's this mystery person?"*

"She is...someone who I believe will-who I hope will become an important part of my life." He just needed to find her.

His mother's face lit up in happiness for him. She had understood the struggles of his youth of being unable to find someone who he could be close with. *"Oh, so this important person is a she? Tell me about her."*

Spock's thoughts drifted back to what he could remember of her and he couldn't help but frown. "She is-I-" How to describe her? He knew so little but, at the same time, so much. She was brilliant. She was compassionate. Her dynamic mind fit with his and was a paradise for his very soul. He knew her ability to love was beyond compare. Oh, he could cite the simple facts. Hair color, height, approximate weight, and her brilliant sapphire eyes but, it wasn't all there was to her. She was so much more than simple facts. He craved to be able share all that was him with her and for her to know that was his t'hy'la, his soulmate. "I am unsure. I have known her for only a short time so it is difficult to tell you much about her but, once I discover more I will tell you."

*"Playing hard to get?"*

The corners of Spock's lips turned down. "I believe that may be considered an accurate description."

His mother's musical laugh only served to confuse him. *"Oh, honey. I know it's frustrating but, I can promise you that the chase will be worth it since it makes the reward all the sweeter once you catch the person you're interested in. Many species do this sort of thing."*

His eyebrows drew down in confusion. Why would they do this? On Vulcan, it is far more logical to simply state your interest. "Is this common for humans?"

*"Especially humans."* Her eyes grew distant in memory. *"Did you know that I didn't like your father at first?"*

He shook his head in the negative.

*"I thought he was a pompous and arrogant ass but, he changed my mind. It took close to a year before I agreed to date him. I think he enjoyed the chase just as much as when he courted and married me."* Her eyes grew distant and happy as she remembered the past and her fond smile only served to show she loved him. *"He once told me that the challenge to prove himself as a worthy mate and win my favor was the most rewarding experience he had ever had especially, once he had successfully accomplished his goal. I think he had fun but, don't tell him I told you that."* She told him with a hint of humor.

"I am concerned there may be other factors. One of which may be fear." He admitted.

She radiated sympathy. *"I'm so sorry."* She sighed. *"Well, then, your work will be doubly hard."*

"Indeed." He raised his hand to touch the screen despite the illogic of such a gesture and she returned the touch as if they could connect physically. "I thank you for your counsel." 

*"I love you, sweetheart. You do know you can always come to me if you ever need anything and that includes advice on us illogical and frustrating humans."*

"I love you as well, ko-mekh."

As the screen darkened, Spock felt the stirrings of hope at his mother's words. He would never be able to adequately express just how much she meant to him. Slowly lowering his hand, he resumed his search, more determined than ever. When he found his bondmate, he would prove himself a worthy mate and win her over. In this, he was confident he would not fail.

 

xXxFour Months After RiversidexXx

Jim left Dr. McCormick's office, a bottle of nausea pills, vitamin supplements, pain meds for her increasing joint pain at night, and a few other meds to help with the growing list of troubling symptoms she was having were tucked securely in a pocket. The pregnant blonde was surprised she didn't rattle when she walked with how many pills she had to take. She always struggled with controlling her stomach after a copper injection to the baby's umbilical cord for a few hours. It really fucking sucked but each time she heard that heartbeat and saw the hologram from her scans of that little person growing inside her, it was worth it. 

Climbing into the old truck, she thought back to the day she'd found out she was pregnant. She'd been scared shitless. She wasn't exactly a maternal type of girl. She'd never played with dolls and the one time she'd been given one, she'd actually given it a go. It didn't end well. She'd forgotten it outside and left it in the rain. It's face had peeled off so she was pretty nervous at the prospect of caring for a real live baby and not a doll.

This had never been in her plans but, now that she had it, Jim wanted it more than anything. She'd briefly thought about aborting the pregnancy but, the idea of it hadn't sat well. She hadn't been able to think of doing it without the guilt of doing so killing her. She agreed with being pro-choice and letting women decide what to do with their bodies. It had taken an agonizing week for her to decide what was best for her. The thought of having an abortion had just seemed like the wrong thing to do for her, almost like she'd be abandoning it for her own aspirations much like her mother and Pike had done to her. 

Jim had still punched out Joseph for his part for being a cheap bastard and ignoring women's reproductive rights by limiting birth-control options. That had felt good even though she'd broken one of her knuckles.

The cost of her prenatal care was killing her financially, though. Jim had had had no choice but to get another crappy job for health insurance and she'd been forced to rent out the house to help cover medical bills. She was trying to put what she could into savings for after the baby was born for when she got to Planet Q and started University. Once she found a direction and finished her masters degree in...something then she'd be set. Her friend, Thomas Leighton and his wife, had been very understanding and we're offering to help but, she didn't want to take advantage of them. It was also a little weird considering they'd been boyfriend and girlfriend (sort of) at one point. 

Jim's original intention had been to rent out the house once she'd left the planet to have a continuous income once she started school and use her savings to get her interstellar ticket but, that was pre-baby. Her priorities had changed quickly with rising costs of having to see a specialist OB/GYN in Iowa City. She needed to have a safe pregnancy for the both of their sakes and her baby needed stability. For that, she needed credits and she needed them now. She was determined to give everything she could to him or her and going back to school offered her more opportunities than that on Earth alone. She couldn't be a server forever and Riverside was just so...small. 

As the town came into view, she took the turn-off to get to the small apartment she was renting. It wasn't a terrible place, just...old and Jim was having to get creative with learning how to cook since there weren't any modern amenities. Her first several attempts hadn't gone well. She was surprised she hadn't burned down her apartment. That had not been an encouraging sign.

Jim had briefly considered finding Spock to tell him about the baby since it was half his but, had dismissed it just as fast. He was in Starfleet and likely wouldn't be around since he'd be off on missions. There was no way he should stay on Earth or in one place for too long. He was simply too brilliant. He was a bright, shining star that needed to be out there exploring and discovering new worlds and new civilizations. Having a pregnant human from a vulcan version of a one night stand (sort of) dragging him down would ruin his career. She wasn't even in Starfleet or married to him and it would maybe cause him to want to stay out of some misplaced sense of chivalry. It'd stunt and risk his career because it'd limit his ability to take assignments other than those that allowed him to be able to be with civilians. She couldn't do that to him. 

She well remembered just how kind and gentle he'd been with her during their time together. When they'd joined in mind and body, she'd never experienced anything like it. Jim had felt so much love and tenderness. He'd been so careful and protective of her. Normally, she wasn't one to swoon like some ridiculous Victorian maiden but, for some reason it felt good to be taken care of and treated like that for once. Hell, she still had his uniform shirt and occasionally wore it for some stupid reason she couldn't fully understand. She just...kind of liked it.

His mind had been so brilliant and powerful that it had been like the ocean. She had been gifted with the skill of being able to ride the immense waves and dive deep within it, finding a serene and beautiful peace beneath the surface that had wrapped around her like the softest blanket once she had soothed the storm of his Time. 

Even when he had been suffering madness during the blood fever, he had been nothing but affectionate with her. Possessive and determined to encourage her to stay but, it had only made her feel wanted. As if she would have left him. Please. He had been so generous with ensuring she enjoyed herself and had taken care of her as if she was something precious to him. Jim had never been treated like that and she wanted it desperately but, it scared her just as much. To be reliant on someone was something that was anathema to her and dangerous.

Jim parked her truck and made her way upstairs to her apartment. As soon as she unlocked the door, she immediately collapsed on the couch, pulling a quilt over her that her grandmother had made and tossed her comm on the coffee table. She had a few hours before her afternoon shift at the 'Shipyard'. It was a popular hangout that was a restaurant in the day but, it turned into a bar after nine. She never worked the night shift. The tips were great and she was lucky to have gotten an understanding boss who had hired her, no questions asked and no judgement. 

Her eyes drifted to the one book she'd found and been able to get regarding Vulcan and their people. It had been an obscure tome that had taken a lot of effort to find because, of course, Vulcans were such secretive bastards. It had been written by an actual respected vulcan healer and scientist named Soval so she'd happily shelled out the credits. Jim had been researching Vulcans and their cultural beliefs regarding pregnant mates and it had been unsettling. She'd originally been looking at cultural facts so that she could help her child to learn about their heritage but, her natural curiosity had led her to the sections on vulcan pregnancy and ceremonies regarding it.

She'd skipped over the section regarding mates. The information was very limited but, it helped a little. They hadn't undergone the Koon-it-kal-if-fee marriage ceremony where they were bonded and married so that didn't apply to her. Nor, had they bonded as children in the Kan-Telan ceremony. Both required the presence of a Vulcan priestess, a trained healer, or the clan matriarch. That hadn't happened so they weren't bonded. Nowhere in the book did it mention Pon-Farr either but, she wasn't terribly surprised. Spock had been pretty clear that it was never spoken of even by his people. Jim had understood that it was nothing more than an instinctual mating cycle.

She'd been so horrified to see that a full-blooded Vulcan pregnancy lasted fifty weeks that she'd actually spat out her drink in shock. She was kind of glad when her doctor said it wasn't likely to happen to her due to the fetus' mixed blood when she'd called him in a panic.

The chapter regarding the Vulcan male and traditional family dynamic, though? That had been more than a bit unsettling. Apparently, a vulcan male tended to become possessive and overprotective of their mates when the female was gestating. It went back to the time before Surak when they had to ensure continuation of the species due to the risks of death from natural predators and the like so, it was an instinctual thing that they couldn't really control. They still continued the behaviors because, it was seen as logical to make sure their mate and offspring survived. 

There was also the fact that the Vulcan people were a matriarchal society. Women had absolute control when it came to decisions regarding whether or not to continue to remain with their mates and would sometimes abandon their mate, break their bond, and choose a stronger male to create a stronger child. It was because of this possibility that the male would do anything to prove themselves a worthy mate and why they were so possessive of the female or male they were joined with to protect their claim. She suspected the reason that Pon Farr wasn't mentioned was due to the fact that the mate (either the male not suffering the blood fever that was to be bonded or the female) could let the male die and the extreme loss of control was worse than the 'primitive' behaviors exhibited during a mate's pregnancy. 

It got more complicated the longer she had read. She saw that family units were a vital part of their culture and tradition. It went back to the time from when they had tribal clans. Back then there had been protection in numbers and so they had strong...family values. When the female was seen as 'unsuitable' or weak she was frequently shunned by the matriarch of the clan and abandoned to try and survive on her own. She was seen as a weak link and not worthy of being a member of the clan but, the child was kept due to the patriarchal heritage.

Even in this day and age there were laws in place that could risk her being seen as an unfit parent considering her past and the fact that she didn't have a stable career, yet. There was a good chance she'd be seen as that and they'd take her baby from her to raise it in the Vulcan way only and neglect it's other half so she elected to stay away. What if Spock did take the baby once he married a 'perfect vulcan wife'? She couldn't let that happen. She wouldn't let that happen. She'd rather die than lose her child. 

Jim also feared that maybe her child would be shunned because of his or her mixed blood and that she wasn't married to Spock in a traditional family unit. What if he or she would be treated with little more than disdain and speciest behavior. She didn't want her child to ever feel unwanted.

They may have become more advanced and no longer exhibited the behaviors that their people had had back then but, they still treated any other races and species as inferior. She didn't want to chance that they'd think the same of her child due to it's mixed blood. Her baby was perfect just the way he or she was. 

They were so judgmental that, even today, they shunned vulcans that had different beliefs from them. There was a small group that embraced emotions rather than traditional values. They were known as the V'tosh ka'tur and were outcasts, not considered real vulcans. There were just too many 'what ifs' going on that she wanted to endure one outcome. 

Sighing in sadness, she supposed humans weren't much better. The ignorance here on Earth, especially in small towns, was rampant and pretty much the same. Many still treated and thought of other alien species (and sometimes even other humans who had different color skin) as something to hate. She knew that the baby's vulcan genetics would be dominant so her child would likely have Vulcan characteristics like the pointed ears she thought were adorable, even on Spock, and green blood which would only serve to advertise the baby's heritage. This was why she needed to get the fuck out of here. 

Curling inwards, the blonde pulled the quilt around her as if she could physically shield and protect her baby from the world. It was stupid thing to do and childish but, it made her feel better. 

A child of two worlds and her sweet, innocent child may not be accepted by either. It might be that neither Earth or Vulcan might not be a proper home because of such ignorance. Jim only hoped that she could provide a sense of peace and find a place among the stars that he or she could be accepted for who they were because her baby was a perfect little being. 

As the negativity of her thought started to overwhelm her a comforting, soothing warmth filled her her heart and her mind. Sighing in bliss, she smiled and snuggled deeper into her blanket feeling strangely happy despite not doing so mere moments ago. She didn't question it anymore. These sudden...emotions and feelings that calmed her spontaneously when she was stressed or upset. It didn't seem dangerous. If anything it made her feel whole and no longer alone. It was safe.

She considered the weird feeling that was permanently in the back of her mind. She thought it'd go away with time but, it seemed to be slowly getting stronger as time went on. When Jim lay down at night and focused on it, she could feel...something. It was like she had a tether keeping her safe and loved, almost like she was treasured. When she was stressed and scared it helped calm and reassure her, giving her the strength to carry on. It was strange to feel something like that. When she'd asked Dr. McCormick, he'd said that it was just a mother's natural instinct and to not worry about it. He'd said another possibility was it was the baby reaching out to her telepathically to make a connection but, she didn't think so. She'd been experiencing a second feeling that seemed more likely to be the baby. It was small and had started a few days ago. It was like a tiny kitten's paw testing the waters and full of curiosity but, it was content and it felt...cozy.

Jim closed her eyes, gently stroking her belly that housed her growing baby and focused on the strong tether that filled her with so many reassuring feelings. Smiling, she let it fill her and chase away all of her worries. This thing in her mind that seemed to grow stronger with every moment that she focused on it, growing brighter and more beautiful. It made her think of Spock for some reason it made her so happy. 

Somehow, she felt that he was special. It made her feel simultaneously so tall and so humbled that she had been able to share such an intimate time with him. He was beautiful, so brilliant, and perfect just the way he was. How had she been so lucky to come across him at that stupid diner? There was no way that he'd have chosen her had he been aware of who and what she was like. It made her decision to stay away easier. She was so broken but, in his presence, she had been treated as if she was everything to him and so precious like a rare gift. He'd acted like she healed and completed him. It was like they somehow fit and he'd filled the cracks in her soul making her whole. 

It wasn't true no matter what she wished but, she held onto that warm presence in the back of her mind that seemed to exude such love and adoration. She kept the memories of when she'd been with Spock locked away and safe to keep forever. God help her, she loved him.

Shifting to her back, she lifted her shirt and the blanket to look down at the baby bump that had started to show about two weeks ago. She could see the small curve to her lower belly and it was actually pretty cool that her body was able to do such an amazing thing despite the challenges that she was going through with her health. She'd been trying harder to eat more to give her baby a better chance at survival but it was hard. It was scary that she'd lost about ten pounds because of struggling to keep food down so she was a little thinner. Because of that, it had caused her to show sooner. 

So far, Dr. McCormick hadn't been able to alleviate her worsening symptoms as her pregnancy progressed and they hoped it'd get better soon. Jim felt like an old woman with her joints constantly aching and the weakness with constantly being unable to keep food down. He'd started sending out referrals to other doctors and hadn't had much success with help managing such a rare type of pregnancy. Again, Starfleet Medical had been suggested but, there was no way she could afford to live there. San Francisco wasn't exactly cheap and even with her degree, she'd only be able to get a position as an intern or research assistant which payed very little.

She was just so tired and couldn't maintain her weight because she was sick all the time. It wasn't exactly the way she'd wanted to see her belly grow but, at least it was still growing. The roundness to her abdomen made her smile because it was physical proof of the amazing changes her body was undergoing to grow another person. 

Her hand drifted back down to touch the smooth skin that was starting to swell and that protected the most important little being in her life. "Oh, sweetheart. You, little one, are going to cause quite a stir when you're born." She smiled fondly, thinking of the future when she'd be able to hold that tiny little life she was blessed enough to carry. "And I can't wait because you are gonna rock this universe, kiddo." She whispered. 

The last thing Jim had to been considering was that her baby would likely have some telepathic skills since vulcan genes would be dominant so she'd been researching how to help and had quickly dismissed the idea of vulcan healers because of the risk of losing custody of her baby due to their antiquated beliefs and laws regarding family. She'd been in contact with a licensed Betazoid Doctor who was willing to help so she had that base covered.

Jim's eyes started to drift closed, surrounded by the sensation of love holding her and making her feel treasured. She'd just reached that halfway point between sleep and being awake when the shrill ringing of her comm caused her to jerk up. 

"Motherfucker." 

Glancing at the screen, she saw that it was Tom, her boss. She glared at the offending device and debated answering it. In the end, she reached over and picked it up. 

*"Jamison?"

Jim rolled her eyes at the use of her full name. "Hey, Tom. What's up?"

There was a pause and Jim knew that she wasn't gonna like what he was gonna say.

*"Hey, Shehaila is sick and I don't have anyone to cover the swing shift and finish to closing."*

Frowning, she had a sinking feeling as he continued.

*"I normally wouldn't ask this of you considering all you're going through but, I really need you for tonight."*

She grit her teeth in frustration. "Look, Tom, I can't handle a double right now. Plus, it's not appropriate for me to be serving at a bar. You know I'm preg-"

*"I'll pay you double. Tonight's one of the busiest nights and I need you. You're one of the best."* He added and Jim could hear the desperation in his voice. 

Guilt sat heavy in her stomach as she remembered that Tom had gone out of his way to get her a decent paying job. "Fine. This is the last time and you owe me." 

*"Thank you! I'll put you on the schedule."*

After Tom hung up, Jim lay back down to try and rest but, something told her that tonight was going to be different. She didn't know quite why she felt it but, she always trusted her gut instinct.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! A warning! Sadly, Jim gets hurt in this chapter. It sucks and I feel awful doing it to her, but it is a plot device which will be useful in the next chapter helping her to make some serious decisions about her life. I promise, I'm not killing the baby! Oh, and Bones makes his big debut in the next chapter, too!   
> Everything will work out! I promise! Bones will also be really badass in the next chapter and everyone will be like "Hell yeah!".   
> Sorry for being so awful to Jim. I have actually had this happen to me before while working. Not to this extreme, but close.   
> Fingers crossed it will be well received and I can't wait until I get Spock in the picture because he's gonna be so sweet and amazing!

Chapter Seven

Thumping, loud music is vibrating through the bar and it sets Jim's teeth on edge. The press of people around her as she worked was another thing she hated about the night shift. She'd rather be at home nursing a cup of tea and reading the latest book she'd been able to lay her hands on. God, when had she turned into an old lady instead of the promiscuous, fun-loving, party girl she used to be. Oh, yeah, since she'd come across a certain vulcan four months ago. 

Once upon a time, she would have loved this shift. The fun of flirting and of getting a comm number along with amazing tips was always a plus but, she'd changed over the past several years. She'd...grown up. Mostly since the death of her paternal grandparents but, the rest of the way had been since she'd found out she was carrying a tiny, little life inside of her.

Jim shifted uncomfortably and tried to pull down the large, retro shirt that she'd been lucky enough to find in the depths of her closet but, it only served to expose her shoulder and collarbone more. She almost felt naked with little more than the loose, blue shirt with some antiquated logo on the front and leggings on that served the dual purpose of supporting her growing belly and making her ass look fantastic. It was the only thing that fit well enough to where she didn't have to leave buttons open. Thank you to whomever invented elastic. She wasn't above using her..ahem...assets to get some serious tips to make up for having to take the night-shift.

The place is a veritable sea of red and it makes her and think of blood. She's never been one for the color red and the fact that it's Starfleet cadets filling the bar to the brim only makes it worse. To her, Starfleet is little more than a peacekeeping armada in name only that only served to produce canon fodder. Jim had never seen an officer worth a damn in all of the memorial services the 'Fleet sponsored. Most had always been motivated by politics and selfish gain, never going the extra mile to protect and help those that were not considered important enough under the flag of the Federation.

Jim had certainly been considered important. When she'd hacked the classified materials regarding Tarsus IV in the Starfleet database she'd seen the reports. All of them. Tarsus' desperate call for help had been received months before their rescue. The ships within range had been ordered to continue their orders despite the need for the colony's rescue due to it holding no strategic importance or producing anything of value. One ship was attending an ambassadorial reception, another was patrolling a sector that hadn't seen any action in decades, and another was exploring the potential mining capabilities of a planet rich in dilithium. There were a few more ships within range that had been relegated to other menial tasks that could have saved the four thousand colonists and stopped Kodos' supposed 'revolution'. 

It had been when Winona had told them that her daughter was on Tarsus IV that they'd acted because, of course, George Kirk's daughter couldn't die on some god forsaken rock because it'd be really bad (read really fucking bad) for politics if that happened. It had been one of the few times Winona had shown she gave a damn about the fate of her only child. She'd also warned that if they dared to publicize the 'rescue' of the daughter of Starfleet's hero that she'd make sure there'd be a fuckton of questions about where those rescue ships had been for months so, Starfleet classified the names of the Tarsus nine and it had simply been chalked up as a terrible tragedy in the history books and left at that. The truth that it could have been prevented had been shoved under the rug and hidden from the public. 

Jim side-eyed the teeming mass of rowdy cadets and vaguely wondered if there was one officer-to-be, just one, that would make a real difference in the universe and care enough to do more than simply follow orders. She hoped so. 

The one good thing? She was making a killing on tips. Cadets enjoying their last night of freedom before starting the new class year tended to get really drunk really fast and always tipped 'a pretty face' well. Especially if said 'pretty face' didn't mess up their drink orders. 

That's when she saw her. Jim's challenge of the night. A beautiful mocha-skinned woman with sharp, intelligent eyes and killer legs that was going to give her a run for her money and Jim always loved a challenge. The smart ones always gave the best tips and killer conversation that wasn't limited to "Is this a phaser in my pocket or am I happy to see you?" when Jim managed to break through their defenses. Even if Jim wasn't currently interested, because, being pregnant? That killed the mood and her heart wasn't really in it. The chase was always fun though. 

Jim watched as she flicked her pony-tail over her shoulder, clearly not used to waiting and irritated that someone wasn't serving her immediately. Well, Jim wasn't going to make her wait too long. Her boss was shorter staffed than he'd led on and Jim was already flush with credits from being only one of two bartenders. The two bouncers couldn't mix a drink to save their lives so, it was left to her and Susan to hold down the fort while Joseph was in the back begging everyone else he employed to get their asses here. The better to get her off this boring planet that hadn't been home for a long time and felt so small.

Sidling up to the young, beautiful cadet, Jim couldn't stop the appreciative smile that lit up her face especially when she saw the woman arch an eyebrow in believed superiority. "What can I get you on this fine evening?"

"Clabnium fire tea, three Budweiser classics, two Caradassian sunrises and..." She glanced at the menu and Jim could spot indecision a mile away. 

"Try the slusho-mix. It's good."

A slow nod and Jim knew she was hooked. "Ok, and the slusho mix."

She started to pull the lever to get the vivid green drink going. "That's a lot of drinks for one woman." 

Rolling her eyes, the cadet continued. "And a shot of jack straight up."

"How about that shot be on me." Free drinks always endeared a client to her and it always was worth it at the end of the night. 

"Her shots on her." 

Jim reached underneath the bar and pulled out the buds, flicking off the caps. Jim's smile grew and she batted her blue eyes. She knew how to use them to her advantage and she had more than enough experience getting supposedly straight girls to decide to experiment. "Don't you at least want to know my name before you turn me down?" 

"I'm fine without it." 

Jim winced in false hurt. "Ouch. That hurts." She lay a hand on her chest over where her heart was. "Right here"- and smirked mischievously. The woman's laugh followed her as she started to mix the overly complicated, tart Cardassian Sunrises.

"I'm fine without it." 

The blonde slowly poured the sunrises and placed them on the tray next to the tea and shot of Jack. She sauntered around the end of the bar, leaning on it and lifted her pointer finger to ensure the cadet's attention. Once she was successful, she flicked the glasses and the crystal clear fluid exploded into a beautiful display of the oranges and reds in layers like the famed sunrise of the world for which it was named. Surprise lit up her features at the unexpected show and Jim smirked. "Beautiful, isn't it?"

"I've never seen it mixed right before." 

"Jim. Jim Kirk." She introduced and purred. "So, about that name..."

The musical laugh at Jim's blatant flirting only encouraged her. "If you don't tell me then I'll have to make one up and it would totally be embarrassing."

"Uhura."

"No way! That was totally gonna be the name I made up for you, but they don't have last names on your world?" 

"Uhura is my last name." Uhura swiped her chip and Jim's eyes lit up in appreciation. 

"They don't have first names?" She teased.

"I don't think so, Jim, Jim Kirk."

Shrugging, she feigned disinterest. "Well, how about Mildred?"

She shook her head, clearly finding the whole encounter funny. "So, Susan, what's your focus?"

The brunette raised her eyebrow and it was so reminiscent of Spock that it pierced her heart. Jim forced away the unexpected, and unwelcome, pain away. "Xenolinguistics."

"Ah, Gertrude, the study of alien languages. It's morphology, phenology, syntax and that means you've got one hell of a talented tongue." 

 

Uhura looked surprised that Jim knew of her specialty and she counted that as a win. She was totally gonna get that comm number even though she'd never call it.

"This townie bothering you?" 

The smell of rancid, cheap beer and an unexpected warmth far too close into her personal space behind her caused Jim to stiffen and turn. Had she been one step closer she would have ground against him. A bald man towered towered above her and once her got a good look at her, his smile turned predatory. Jim had seen looks like that directed at her before and she'd never liked it. It was one thing to flirt, but quite another to be threatening in both posture and tone of voice. "Because I can easily handle it." 

Jim's eyes turned from a warm summer sky blue to an ice cold more comparable to the fictional planet of Hoth. "Back off." She shifted her stance and turned back around, expecting the knuckle dragger to take a hint. This was why she'd wanted to stay home. She clenched her jaw as the brute's beefy arm reached between the two women and he moved back into her personal space. "I don't think I will."

"Fucking mouth breather. Not interested, cupcake." Jim's mom had always warned her that her smart mouth would get her into trouble some day, but she'd always been headstrong and stubborn. 

He definitely didn't like her disrespectful tone and he was so big that he blocked Uhura so she couldn't see her reaction. "Look, she's just a barkeep that was flirting, Hendorff. Leave her alone." 

Uhura's words stung, but the beast in front of her wasn't phased. In fact, he seemed to become more dangerous as time went on. "Do you recognize this uniform? It's Starfleet and you're lucky that someone like me is lowering their standards to hit on someone like you." 

Narrowing her eyes, she pretended to eye him up and down. "Someone like you. A monkey in a red suit? Please." 

Baldie's face turned an alarming red that matched his clothing and she stepped back slightly, but not enough to show him fear. Animals like him could smell fear. "You're just a piece of backwater trash that'd be lucky to be on the end of my dick." 

"With sweet words like that how do you not have a line down the street." Jim snapped. "Ladies." She dismissed them and expected that to be the end of it and turned away but a rough hand grabbed her ass in a punishing grip. Jim straightened and her hands turned into claws as she struggled to control her breathing. She tried and failed, her fury making her shake with the memories of Tarsus and her youth threatening to overwhelm her. She wasn't a child anymore, but she wasn't in the best position with her health. 

There'd always been bastards like this during her time as a server and bartender, but they rarely ever went this far. Aggressive 'flirting' and predatory looks was one thing, but touching? Groping? She'd never responded well to someone touching her without consent. Foul breath washed over the back of her neck and she struggled to not throw up. "Come on. It's my last night of freedom. Consider it as you saying thank you to us in the service for protecting your sorry ass trailer trash life."

Jim's face flushed in fury and she didn't want to cause a scene, but things were rapidly spinning out of control. "Remove your hand or I'll remove it from your body, cadet." She bit. 

"Sassy. I like my women sassy." 

Jim's eyes darted to where her boss was in an effort to get his attention, but he was facing away from her and oblivious to her plight, focused on removing someone else from the main room. She could see out of the corner of her eye that Uhura had moved away, her eyes wide and Jim knew that she wasn't going to get any help from her. 

"Choke on a dick, asshole." She could feel her heart beating a violent tattoo against her ribs as her fight or flight instinct started to come into play, but the bastard ignored her and started to caress her backside.

"Are you offering, because you'd look a lot better with your lips wrapped around my cock."

"I'm warning you." 

He didn't let go and Jim spun on her heel, grabbing his wrist with one hand and shoving the heel of her palm with her other upwards. The satisfying crunch under her hand as it broke made her breathe easier and he stumbled back. She could see the shock and surprise written all over his face as he wiped away the blood streaming down his face and into his mouth. The sticky, red blood stained his teeth and made him look absolutely feral as he wiped it away and snarled at her. "Leave before I kick your ass out of my bar."

"You bitch! You fight like the trailer trash whore I thought you were. I'm just surprised you didn't fight with broken beer bottles." He snarled.

Jim seethed and her eyes darted fruitlessly to Joseph one last time. "You mean you think I'd kick your ass? Pretty sure I would so get the fuck out of here and I won't press charges for sexual assault." 

Several other cadets started to come closer sensing the commotion. Figures. Neanderthals always travel in packs. "I don't think I will. In fact, do you see how many of us there are? There are four of us and one of you. I think you need to say sorry to all of us."

Jim shifted her stance and it was like everything faded away. She could even hear the sharp intake of air from Uhura. "I think you need to leave...now." 

"And I think we need to teach you a lesson."

"I don't think so, buddy. Pretty sure I could kick your ass and afterwards then have security drag you out of here." 

That was when he lunged for her and Jim jumped back, striking out and she landed a solid punch to his jaw. She had the fleeting thought of a bull snorting steam before he punched back and stars erupted in front of her eyes. Two pairs of hands grabbed her biceps and the blonde used it to her advantage, pressing into them and letting it take her weight as she kicked with both legs right into cupcake's stomach and he went flying over a table and didn't get back up. The pair were so shocked that she was able to twist away and sweep low to knock the legs out from under one of them before the fourth asshole joined the fray and used her hair to pull her upright like a caveman and the one she hadn't got to slammed the heel of his palm into her ribcage. 

She could feel the bruises forming and she tried to turn unsuccessfully so she had to elbow the one behind her. He released her with a gasp and Jim ducked under the arms of one of them making an effort to contain her. 

Joseph was running full speed towards them and she had a horrifying front row seat to him leaping onto a blonde cadet's back to pull him away, but he was thrown over his shoulder and she could hear the crack as her boss's head hit the corner of the bar and he went down, unmoving and Jim felt true fear.

"Stop! Stop it!"

Uhura's feeble protests went unheard as the four went into a blood-frenzy. Jim's hesitation cost her and it wasn't long before she found herself pinned on a table with a solid punch to her abdomen that robbed her of her air. A cruel hand held her by the throat and squeezed and full-blown panic caused her to forget every bit of self-defense she knew. She weakly pulled at the fingers strangling her. "I'm pre-"

Hit after hit landed on her face and body and, through her tunneling vision, she could see patrons pulling the other three away and desperately fighting to try to save her. Her thoughts went hazy and she couldn't stop the thought that he may very well kill her and her baby. 

It took a minute for the whistle to register and for her to realize that he'd stopped his attack. She hurt so bad that she couldn't do more than turn her head and see Uhura's pale face as she clutched her communicator still next to her mouth in a white knuckled hold. Her attacker jumped off of her and Jim groaned and pulled herself up, clutching her ribs and fighting to not vomit. 

Everything faded in and out as she landed on the ground next to Joseph, frantically checking his pulse and breathing a sigh of relief. Her face felt hot and her left eye was rapidly swelling shut.

"Are you alright?" 

xXx

Captain Christopher Pike wasn't one who was easily angered, but the scene that had met his eyes when he'd stepped into the Riverside Bar had made him positively shake with fury. He'd been sitting with a new recruit finalizing their last minute paperwork joining the medical division of Starfleet when he'd gotten a call that security had been summoned to the bar because of his cadets starting a brawl. 

He'd seen brawls before, but this was something else entirely. This wasn't the drunken shenanigans of a bunch of rowdy cadets. This was a pack of animals trying to take something they shouldn't be through brute force and being denied. 

This had to stop and it had to, now. Shouting wasn't going to do it. The room was too loud and nobody had even noticed his entry or that of the security team behind him. It was when his eyes fell of the brown-haired cadet pummeling a young woman with a waitress apron that he was further angered. 

"Get these men out of here." He growled to the team and held his fingers to his mouth, whistling.

The reaction was immediate. Every cadet froze, even the one who'd been completely focused on his assault of the young woman under him aired reactions of shock and horror met him. "Get out of here." The temperature in the room turned arctic. "Now!"

The four worst injured officers he knew well. All of them arrogant and well-connected. He was a newly minted captain and commandant of cadets and, as such, severely limited, but that didn't mean there was nothing he could do. As the cadets scrambled to obey, he caught the arm of Sarah Hannity, his prime pick for security chief when he got the Enterprise.

"Lieutenant, I want a full report, statements, and the goddamn security feeds from here." He paused. "And get those idiots to Riverside General for treatment. The second we know they're not going to die the you drag their asses back here. They're going to pick up every goddamn thing in here and clean this mess up until it shines even if they miss their check-in time at the shuttle and they have to walk back to San Francisco." 

Her eyes darted from the room and back to him, her expression too fast to read, but from what he could see, she agreed with him. She was the best at her job and he trusted her to do it well. "Sir." 

Paramedics had clearly been called and were already trying to pick through the wreckage that had once been a thriving bar and restaurant. He'd come here many a time when he had been a cadet himself and later as an officer, but he'd never experienced destruction like this. Angry glares were directed at him and the retreating backs of the cadets he'd been charged with.

Sudden movement caught his attention as Pike saw the blonde bartender roll off the table and onto her knees, clutching her ribs and gasping in clear pain. He started to move to get to her in an effort to stop her from potentially hurting herself further. She was kneeling next to Joseph and checking his pulse as two EMTs were placing the owner in a neck collar and furiously scanning him. 

Her head dropped and messy blonde waves, half in an hair tie and half out covered her face. Even with it partially obscured, he could see the extreme damage done to her. Blood poured sluggishly from her nose, her left cheekbone was swollen so much that her eye couldn't even open, and there was a split lip along with a cut on her forehead. She held her right wrist against herself and was panting in an effort to control her pain. The minute Joseph was lifted onto a stretcher and taken away, the young woman curled into herself and started to dry heave onto the floor. 

Nothing substantial came out except stringy bile and blood, likely from the busted lip and her nose, and Pike was very worried at the sight. There was a possibility that she would have to be beamed to SFM in San Francisco if her injuries were more than superficial. As it was, Riverside General was a small hospital and was going to be overwhelmed with the crush of people from this and he knew he was going to have to send backup to help.

He kneeled down next to her and reached out to touch her shoulder, but she flinched away as if he'd burned her. He'd seen reactions like this before and he knew there was more to her behavior than just this incident. He didn't reach out again.

"Are you alright?"

There was something familiar about her that he couldn't quite place. He shook it off as coincidence. He'd probably seen her when he'd been in here before. 

"What do you think?" She rasped and Pike winced sympathetically as he saw fingerprint bruises lining her neck. Good, God. What would have happened if that cadet-Uhura?-had called this in any later? 

"Let me help you up and then we can get you some help." 

"You whistle really loud." She still didn't face him but reached out blindly with her left arm and he carefully pulled her up and placed her in one of the few chairs still upright. He could barely make out the whimper she tried to hide as she sat.

It was when she finally looked up that his breath caught in his throat. The last time he'd seen those blue eyes they had been filled with such hurt and betrayal that it had stabbed him in the gut. "Jamison?"

"Pike?" She laughed humorlessly and shook her head. "Christopher Pike." Her eyes darted to his sleeve where his rank showed. "And a captain, too. Fucking figures."

Chris was grateful when a glass of ice and some napkins were put in front of them with a few quiet words that there where more medics on the way. He just didn't know what to say. Those eyes, so much lime her father's were narrowed at him in a way that his had never been. "My god! What the hell are you doing here?"

"Working on my modeling career. What the fuck does it look like?" She snapped. "I was working until your goons decided to attack me. Once again, Starfleet fucks me over." Pike watched as she took out a few ice cubes, wrapping them in napkins to place on the side of her face. 

She made to stand up and swayed on her feet. "Jim, you're hurt!" 

"No shit, Sherlock!" He watched in horror as she took an aborted step and immediately had to sit back down again. His guilt must have shown on his face because Jim deflated from her earlier antagonistic behavior. "Look, Chris, it's not really a good time for me." 

He could see she was rapidly fading and needed help quickly. One of the other patrons who'd been present for the fight came over and knelt next to her. He had his own matching black eye and was pulling out a basic medical tricorder from a first aid kit. 

Pike frowned as the man focused, not on her head and face where the damage looked most severe but on her abdomen. Internal bleeding? 

"Jim, we need to get you to the hospital. Now. I can't get more than a basic read and with your pregnancy being an inter-species one, it's more dangerous." 

Pregnant? She was pregnant? Not only that, but it wasn't fully human? Just where had she even met someone of a different species. Non-terrains weren't exactly commonplace in Riverside. There was no way she was going to get the help she needed here. She needed to come with him. He hadn't been able to help her before, but he could certainly do so now. He had to. If he had to leave her behind again he didn't think he'd be able to do so.

"I know, Michael." 

The man's lips thinned and he carefully lifted the hem of her shirt just enough to place a monitor on her lower abdomen. That was when he saw it. The slight rounding of her belly denoting pregnancy. "Is everything alright?" 

There it was. Fear causing her voice to wobble. She tried to hide it under a mask of bravado and confidence, but he'd known her since she was a baby and he could see it no matter how hard she worked at it. The medic smiled slightly to reassure her. "So far, everything looks stable enough, but you need a more detailed scan and a doctor to loom you over."

"Jim, come with me to San Francisco. Starfleet Medical has the best and you can get proper care. I can call for a beam-"

"Don't. Just. Don't, Chris. I don't want anything from you or Starfleet. Ever." 

"Jim, Stop being so stubborn and let me help." He pleaded and Jim snorted a laugh. It caused a trickle of blood to flow from her nose which she dabbed away. 

"You didn't before. Had a change of heart?" She looked closer, scrutinizing him. "Or is it your guilt from when I was a kid you're trying to assuage?"

"Neither. Just hear me out."

"Are we done here?" 

Sighing, the older man wanted desperately to keep her close; to keep her safe and never let her go. He'd failed before and he'd be damned if he did again. He wouldn't let her shove him away. "Yeah. We're done." The 'for now' went unsaid, but she didn't seem to notice and stood up.

Pike jumped up when he saw her blinking rapidly. "Good, because I think I'll pass out now." 

He barely caught her as blue eyes rolled up in her head and she fell like a stone. "Damn it, Jim!" He would fix this no matter what happened to him. It might take a lifetime, but she was worth it. He'd be damned if he was going to lose her again.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! This chapter was a beast! I was going to include my twist on the shuttle scene, but my hand is cramping! Sorry!   
> We meet our favorite doctor and see a little manipulation as well via a crafty Pike.   
> The next chapter will have that scene and Spock will be making an appearance! Oh, the endless possibilities!   
> Now, I'm hoping that I got a good mix of humor and seriousness.   
> As always, I go nuts for reviews and opinions! My opinion on Cupcake is, even in the movie, he should have gotten busted for conduct unbecoming of an officer. All of them should have.   
> Hope it's enjoyed!!! ;)  
> DarkWaters

Chapter Eight

"Ow, fuck!" 

Everything hurt. Jim regretted it immediately when she squinted open her right eye as lights stabbed into her like teeny tiny assassin's knives right into her brain while the rest of her felt like she'd been run over by a truck...twice. 

"Ah, you're awake." 

It was like the worst hangover she'd ever had combined with-

"Oh, shit! My baby! Oh, my god!" Every pain was forgotten as adrenalin flooded her body and she tried to shoot up only to be caught by strong, gentle arms.

"Easy. Easy. Just relax. Everything's...well, the baby's fine. You-not so much." 

Jim tried batting the hands away, but whoever this guy was, he was good at preventing her from sitting back up while avoiding every hurt she had with his attempts. "Kid, relax! I'm here to help you."

It was when she shifted wrong in her efforts and her broken ribs in her side made themselves known when she suddenly froze, gasping and curling in on herself. White hot agony lanced down her side and Jim couldn't move. She could taste acrid bile in the back of her throat and she knew it wasn't going to end well. 

"I may throw up on you."

Warm hands rubbed soothing circles on her back, but she couldn't relax. Her mouth watered unpleasantly and she panted to try and stave off vomiting. "Wouldn't be the first time, kid, and it certainly won't be the last."

Jim gagged. "No. I'm serious, man. I am definitely going to throw up on you."

There was a put upon sigh by the unknown person next to her and he expertly shoved a kidney bowl under her. 

Several dry heaves later and it was clear nothing was going to come up. Now that she was more awake, she could tell she was at Riverside General. She recognized the ugly green cubicle curtain and the logo on the blanket in her legs. "Thanks." She murmured. 

The battered blonde squinted at her surroundings but the pounding in her head only made her feel worse so she focused on the ugly pink bowl in her hands. Well. Hand. One was in a cast up to her wrist while the other had an IV catheter inserted. Huh. 

Jim quickly took stock of her various hurts and it was concerning. Her face felt hot and swollen, particularly on the left side to where she couldn't see out of that eye because it was swollen shut. Her right wrist was in a short cast, ribs on both sides were killing her, and her left shoulder and right knee were just as painful. It wasn't good. The only positive was that her belly didn't hurt more than a slight ache and the worry of her baby being hurt and losing the pregnancy had been calmed by the doctor's words. 

The IV line started to wiggle and Jim turned to see a brown-haired older man wearing a set of blue scrubs fiddling with it and pressing a syringe to the port. "Wait! I have-" He just turned his head and raised a sardonic brow as he pressed the plunger down. "-allergies."

Sudden relief hit her and her many aches and pains faded into the background and she no longer felt like she was going to decorate the room with her insides. Jim flopped back onto the gurney and was finally able to look around properly. There really wasn't too much to see. Iowa General had been around since before-God, it was so hard to remember.

"I know, kid. I read your chart." He confirmed in a southern drawl.

Jim finally looked up at the man standing next to her now that she was able to move better. He wasn't too bad on the eyes. A little rough looking, but cute in a rugged way with that five o'clock shadow. He was about six feet tall with brown hair and kind, hazel eyes. He looked tired like he'd been woken up and dragged from bed. 

He held up the paper chart and scowled in disgust at it as if it had personally offended him. "Or rather what little of it that's been poorly documented by the incompetent staff here. I'm surprised you've lived this long being here in the land that God forgot." 

"And you are...?"

His face flushed, clearly embarrassed. "I'm sorry, Miss Kirk. Forgot my manners." He held out a hand that she took with her good one. 

Jim smirked. "Well, a good, southern boy needs to remember those." But her smirk quickly turned into a pained grimace. "Jamison Kirk, but I go by Jim and never Miss Kirk."

"McCoy. Dr. Leonard McCoy." His eyes darted over her to gauge her reaction and she'd seen that look before. It was one that had frequently been given to her when she'd been a kid under Frank's care and doctors would test to see how she'd respond to a male checking her over. Considering what happened and the reasons for why she'd been hurt it was understandable for him to be apprehensive, but unnecessary. She'd been through worse which was sad. Didn't make it any better though and those assholes were lucky she hadn't been at full strength otherwise they'd have been walking with permanent limps.

Apparently satisfied that she wasn't going to break down immediately and under his care, the slightly older doctor pulled away to wash his hands and snap on a pair of gloves. "I'm just gonna do an exam before I continue treating you, if that's ok?"

Raising her eyebrows in surprise at the warning, she nodded. Normally, she wasn't asked. It was just done. Necessary, especially in this case, but done. 

He reached over towards the metal tray next to her bed and picked up a medical tricorder. Jim's brows furrowed at it. It was sleek and very shiny compared to the ones she was used to seeing. It'd likely show a lot more detail in her scans. The brunette ran it over her, his main focus being her head, chest and lower abdomen which wasn't too surprising all things considered. 

He then went through the usual motions of checking her reflexes, pupil,army responses, memory, and basic neurological tests which mostly came out ok with the added commentary of how she was lucky to have such a hard head. If he only knew. 

It was once he moved to press on her face that Jim hissed like an angry cat and pulled away from his touch. He was patient and waited until she moved back into position and let him continue his examination of her face. McCoy's lips thinned to the point of turning white, but he didn't comment and carefully guided her to lay down. It was weird. Normally, the doctors at the local hospital just ran a scan and that was it. A wham, bam, thank you, ma'am. 

He lifted her hospital gown and when he pressed on her side, she forcefully shoved him away. The pain from the gentle pressure on her ribs cause a white hot stab of agony that lanced down all the way to her upper belly. "Oh, Jim. I'm sorry."

She'd broken out into a cold sweat and was worried that she'd retch and make it worse. He stepped away and, in the corner of her eye, she saw him add something to her IV, but before the soothing warmth of medication, Jim suddenly realized that she should have been more panicked. It was weird. It was like there was something blocking it and helping her to stay calm. 

Once the meds hit her system she was able to relax and let him finish his physical exam. "Didn't realize you were into pain."

He rolled his eyes hard enough that Jim wondered if he was going to sprain them. She giggled at the ridiculous thought and she knew the pain meds were affecting her more than she thought. "I'm a doctor not a sadist." 

Jim laughed harder, clutching her side to prevent any more hurt than what was necessary. "Well...BDSM can always be part of a healthy sexual repertoire."

The sigh of frustration he let out could probably be heard down the hall. "Don't get cute, kid."

"But I'm always cute." She protested.

He chuckled back at her response. "Not with your face doing an impersonation of hamburger beef you're not."

Holding a hand to her chest, her smile widened. "Ouch, doc. Ouch. That hurts."

It was such a shame that he was just an ER doctor. She wouldn't mind having him as her prenatal physician. He was funny and didn't seem to be a stuck up idiot. 

"Well, those bastards did a number on you. Low level concussion, fractured cheekbone so you'll have a shiner for a while, three broken ribs on your left and one fractured on your right, strained ligaments in that shoulder, broken fourth and fifth metacarpals in your right hand known as boxer's fracture, bruising to your abdomen, sprained right knee, and lacerations to your forehead and lip." He growled, his eyes darting around the room clearly looking for something. "This is ridiculous. Not only is there not a biobed to be found in this dump, but the equipment here is so out of date that it was probably here when the Louisiana Purchase was still in escrow." 

Jim watched him with her eyebrows raised as he picked up her chart and made some notations. "At least the doctor here isn't a complete idiot and ordered most of the correct labs."

He clearly wasn't from around here if it was surprising to him. Most people had to pay out of pocket and through low quality insurance companies so there was little in the ways of advanced medical equipment and care in a lot of the facilities here. 

Moving out of her eyesight, he came back with an old-fashioned ultrasound machine, a look of absolute disgust lining his face. "I can't believe this! An ultrasound machine! All that's missing is some stone knives and bear skins! Maybe I should just get some beads and rattles to fit in here." 

"Well, you're certainly checking on me as if you're using beads and rattles." She quipped.

"Smartass."

Jim grit her teeth at the feel of the cold gel on her stomach and was becoming worried when she saw the McCoy's jaw clenching at what he saw. The screen was turned away from her during his check. It seemed to be taking a long time. That weird feeling of calm came back, but there was an undercurrent of worry that matched her own. She shook her head to try and dispel it. "Is everything ok? You said the baby was fine."

"Just haven't used one of these antiques since med school." He spun the screen around and pointed at the grainy black and white image, a small smile playing on his lips. "You've got a tough little one in there making itself at home, comfy and cozy. Smaller than it should be at this stage, though." 

Jim's eyes were glued to the screen. Her baby. That precious little being that she loved so much was right there on that screen. Tiny legs were curled in and- "Is he sucking his thumb?" 

McCoy looked at the screen and then back at her, a wide smile lighting up his face. "Or she, but yeah, that little one seems to be pretty attached to that thumb there."

Her eyes burned and Jim tried to blink back the tears of relief and happiness at seeing that her precious cargo was safe. "Oh, God." She sobbed. That strange presence seemed to curl around her mind, happy and at peace. Jim ignored it in favor of asking a few more questions. "So, everything's fine?" Jim hated the naked vulnerability in her voice, but she had to be sure. 

McCoy put the ultrasound wand back, a little slower than what seemed necessary. "I'm actually a little more worried about you to be honest."

"Why? I'm fine."

He didn't answer as he started sealing up the cut on her forehead and lip with another far too shiny piece of equipment. As the dermal regenerator finished it's cycle, the blonde noticed a bag in the corner of the room. "What's with the backpack?"

He glanced at what she was indicating, but returned back to finishing his work. "I was just passin' through when I got called in to lend a hand."

"Somewhere good?"

Shrugging, he placed the regenerator neatly into the case next to the scanner. "Not really. Trying some place new. Ex-wife took the whole damn planet in the divorce. All I got left is my bones."

Jim winced in sympathy. She knew what it was like to be forced to go somewhere she didn't really want to. "That sucks, Bones."

The doctor raised an incredulous brow. At least he was entertaining and she had to get her laughs where she could or she'd cry. "Why am I getting stuck with such a stupid nickname?"

"Hm...A few reasons. Take your pick. You're an old sawbones." Ticking off her fingers, his eyebrow only reached higher, disappearing into his hairline.

Snorting in agreement, the brunette rolled his eyes. "Got the old part right."

"All you've got is your bones." 

"True." He admitted grudgingly.

"And you're fixing my bones."

"Trying to but this hellhole doesn't have osteostim equipment." He growled and Jim was starting to enjoy herself immensely.

"It's driving you crazy the more reasons I can come up with."

Narrowing his eyes, Jim started to laugh at his next response. "You're not wrong."

"And if I wasn't knocked up and off the market then I'd be jumping your bones." She smiled lecherously and the doctor blinked in shock at how forward she was. Well, it was a gift. "Take your pick." 

"Don't flatter yourself kid." 

"What? I'm not pretty and you don't want to play doctor?" She acted mock hurt and he started to sputter and turn red. 

"I'm far too old and I'm a real doctor not a playboy."

He was just plain adorable. "Didn't take you for the shy type, Bones."

When he started to turn a more vivid shade of red and she couldn't tell if it was in irritation or embarrassment. 

"That's not the point!" He protested.

"Aw! That's adorable. Protecting my virtue? A true southern gentleman to the core."

He sighed and was clearly debating how to respond next. She wasn't disappointed. "Jesus H. Christ on a cracker."

"What? Flirt is my default mode."

Her fun didn't last long as he started to grow serious. "We do need to talk about you, right now. I'm concerned about your health."

"I told you I'm fine. I have a doctor monitoring me." 

"You need to get your ass to Starfleet medical. The doctors here are idiots that clearly don't know how to handle a mixed-species vulcanoid pregnancy. They are gonna kill, not only the baby, but you as well, kid." 

Jim started to become very suspicious. "How did you-" shaking her head, she decided she needed to wrap this up quickly. "You know what? Never mind. I'm fine. I am not going to Starfleet medical." 

"Oh, oh, so you're fine with renal failure?" 

"What!?!" Her head spun around at that and McCoy handed over her lab reports, quickly running through the concerning numbers that looked like gibberish to her. 

"Look, the doctors at SFM are idiots themselves. They're insufferable egotists that wouldn't know their ass from a hole in the wall,but they have better resources than here." 

She sincerely doubted that Starfleet would do much better. She was worried and would definitely be bringing this up with Dr. Thomlinson, but she remembered her time after Tarsus. There had been looks of pity and they just wouldn't listen to her. They'd acted like they'd understood her, but they couldn't. None of them knew what it had been like for her and the other survivors. 

"Well, what would you think about letting me treat you then?" 

It was when he shut the case on the bedside tray that Jim felt the puzzle pieces slide together with an audible click in her mind. A vivid silver Starfleet logo stood out like a neon sign against the black. Fucking figures that Pike couldn't leave well enough alone. Jim's hackles rose at the implications of what was going on.

"You're an ER doctor not an obstetrician." 

"True, but I'm not an ignorant nobody from a backwards town like these arrogant bastards that are way out of their depth. I'm willing to confer with specialists when I'm not sure and will do right by you and that baby you carry. I wouldn't let ego and pride compromise a patient's health."

"I should have known better than to believe that Christopher Pike would leave well enough alone." She growled. "I don't want some Starfleet quack gawking at me and my baby, thinking that caring for a hybrid pregnancy, probably the only half-Vulcan child that's in existence. I have no great love of Starfleet and have yet to meet anyone there that really cares."

"Well, it's a good thing I'm not a Starfleet doctor." 

Jim narrowed her eyes as McCoy swung his medkit around his shoulder. 

"At least not yet." Sighing at her silence, he stopped low enough to look her in the eyes and Jim was hard-pressed to not believe that he didn't care. She could see genuine worry in those hazel orbs. "Look, I don't give a damn if this child is black, brown, green or has blue, red, or even green blood. I just care that both of you survive and that this little one is able to make an appearance." His eyes soften. "I can see that you're gonna be a good mom and care for this child but you won't get that chance unless you get to SFM. Let me be your doctor." He plead. "If you don't like me then you can find somebody else and I won't take offense." 

She can see the truth of his words, but she remained silent, mulling over his words. Maybe he took her silence as a 'no' because he stepped back and away. "I'll be right back. I have a few idiots to treat, but we're not done, yet. You move from that gurney before I discharge you and I will find you faster than you can say boo."

She didn't even get a chance to take a breath before the curtain twitched and Pike stepped in holding a small messenger bag. "I heard Doctor McCoy was finished for now."

"Son of a bitch. You have got to be kidding me." Jim glared and she was surprised that Chris didn't burst into flames. "What is it? Starfleet tag team day?" 

Pike came forwards, hands held up in supplication. "Now, Jim, don't get mad. Hear me out, please."

"Don't get mad? Seriously, Chris? I told you to keep away. You made it pretty clear when I was 13 that you didn't want anything to do with me. Now you care?" Jim sat all the way up, refusing to be on her back and in a vulnerable position. "You deliberately steamrolled me and sent a goddamn 'fleet doctor when I specifically said I didn't need the help.

He huffed a laugh and it was so familiar from when she was younger and both of them more carefree that it caused her to ache. "You weren't exactly in a position to argue. You're as stubborn as George and you needed it."

Snorting in derision, she ignored that. Pike's jaw firmed and she knew that he was holding back something, but she was just too tired to find out what it was. "What's in the bag?"

He held it out to her and Jim carefully took it, unsure if there was something more nefarious in this offering. "Dr. McCoy said he was done treating you for now."

"Oh, did he? And what else, pray tell, did the good doctor tell you about me?" She asked, her voice dripping with false sweetness.

Jim tried to focus on digging through the bag and was pleased to note it had a set of new clothes, granted they weren't what she would have chosen, but beggars can't be choosers. The curse and blessing of a small town was everybody knew everyone else and had access to your house. It was handy when you needed it. She vaguely wondered who'd been thoughtful enough to make sure she wasn't going to be stuck going home with her ass hanging out of a hospital gown. Inside, there were some toiletries and Jim smiled. 

Standing up with the blanket wrapped around her waist to protect her modesty, Jim pulled on her underwear and the maternity jeans that she'd just bought the other week. They were a little loose around her belly since she'd got them early in her pregnancy, but they were comfortable. 

"He told me to mind my own damn business. Doctor patient confidentiality of a private citizen." He growled.

Jim laughed delightedly. She didn't know Bones too well, but that certainly sounded like something he'd say. "Oh, I like him. He's smart." She peeked behind her and was thankfully rewarded with Pike's back facing her. 

"Why do you think I recruited him? I only recruit the best and I think you can be, too." 

Turning back around, she quickly put on her bra and started to pull on the black vest which, sadly, clung to her skin tighter than she'd like. It hadn't been fully pulled down over her back when she heard a strangled gasp behind her. 

Jim slowly turned and Pike must have thought she'd been finished because his eyes were fixed on her, an expression of horror in those gray depths. "Well, you can clearly see the caliber of cadets that you, so carefully recruited. What the fuck, Pike?"

He was about to reply when she heard a horrific squeal that sounded like a wounded animal. Both her and Pike paused in their awkward conversation and glanced over to the left, but it was silent again other than the normal sounds of the hospital. Shaking her head, Jim pushed away the earlier distraction. 

"Cadet Hendorff will be demoted and have to redo a year as well as attend anger management, sexual harassment classes, and a there will be note in his file. He'll also be restricted to campus for the rest of his time at the academy." Sighing, Pike looked away guiltily. "Unfortunately, he has prominent family in the fleet. He won't be eligible for command nor should he be. The rest of them are going to be tried and drummed out of the service, possibly serve jail time."

Of, course. "Nepotism at its finest. Fair compensation for sexual assault and almost killing me and my baby." She hisses sarcastically. 

"No. No, it's not but, trust me when I say he, and his fellow cadets, were not recruited by me and, if it were in within my purview, they'd all be thrown out on their asses." 

Jim says nothing and rolled her eyes at the familiar behavior of Starfleet. "Is there something else?" 

Another shout of pain froze her from where she was pulling back her long, blonde hair in a tie to get it out of her face. She felt a moment of concern for whomever it was that was that was next door. 

"Jim, I want you to consider coming with me and joining the academy. It's not just for you to get the medical care you deserve. Starfleet's become stagnant. We need someone like you." 

Jim blinked in surprise. "Seriously? Not exactly the best moment to encourage me to join even if I wasn't recovering from being a human punching bag for those Neanderthals."

Straightening his uniform, the older man moved closer, but a glare stopped him cold. "Look, I've seen your aptitude scores and you're gifted. You could easily graduate in four years, be a captain in eight, and you would have the ability to change things, shake Starfleet up. Starfleet is a peacekeeping armada dedicated to-"

"Like Tarsus? Real peaceful there."

"You could prevent another Tarsus. Besides, think about your child. He or she would have the best care. You too." He argued.

Jim wasn't having it. "Don't guilt trip me and use my baby for your agenda."

"Then don't paint all of Starfleet with the same brush from your negative experiences. There's a lot of good, too. More good than the bad. More good men than those pigs." 

"I'm not exactly Starfleet's poster girl, especially right now." She indicated her body including the belly that housed her child.

"Neither is McCoy, but he's someone I'd be honored to serve with just as I know you would be. Strong morals, intelligent, and willing to defend the true meaning of what this uniform stands for." 

The truth was she could see he believed what he was saying, but pretty words wouldn't sway her. Jim doesn't respond. She couldn't. Jim steps around him, intending to leave and paused at the curtain, refusing to face him. "Why is this so important to you?" She asks quietly, unsure if she wants to hear his answer.

"Because I failed and lost you once. I don't want to again." 

She realizes then she didn't want to hear it. The naked pain and regret was so obvious in his tone that it was hard to ignore, but she did. Pulling back the green privacy curtain, she was privy to a very interesting sight. 

Cupcake is walking by-well, limping might be a more accurate term-McCoy at his side. "Well, you can get a new pair of pants from the nurse. I've never seen such a damned baby. That pregnant girl you and your buddies beat the shit out handled her treatment better than you." 

He actually did look worse than she did and Jim felt a moment of vindictive satisfaction at that. He was covered in a fine sheen of sweat and had a bandage over his nose with two black eyes to her one. Looks like she'd broken his nose.

Cupcake's eyes widen at him in shock and McCoy's face was lined in anger. "What?" 

Then she watched as a nurse came up and handed McCoy a hypo who proceeded to him stab the bastard with a hypo. "For the pain. Stop being such a baby." 

"You could have given me that before you set my nose." 

McCoy smirked. "Yeah. I could have." He answers and the nurse shrugged in indifference to the man's plight. "Couldn't seem to find the right one in time, doctor." The young woman addressed cupcake, no trace of sympathy in her attitude. "Sorry, cadet."

"I thought doctors were supposed to do no harm!"

"Well, for you, sweetheart, I made an exception. I did treat your injuries as best as I could considering the lack of resources. Maybe you should have thought about that. Besides, this deathtrap doesn't have any bone menders so you're just gonna have to suck it up, buttercup." He shoves cupcake hard enough for him to stumble and whimper pathetically. "Now get the fuck out of here. When you get to SFM get another damn doctor there to finish your treatment." 

Jim wouldn't have missed this for the world. She'd never seen anyone so protective of her before and it was a strange thing. The same nurse who'd handed Bones the hypo lead another cadet towards the doctor in the hall where McCoy rubs sanitizer on his hands. "Now, who's next?" The cadet paled and backed up only to bump into Starfleet security that had been standing behind him. 

McCoy was definitely an interesting puzzle. 

"Just think about it. Men like your own father were in the 'Fleet. Good men. He saved over eight hundred lives including yours. I know you could do better if you gave us a chance." Jim jumped at the voice next to her. Pike must have been watching the antics of that crazy doctor. "McCoy's another good man. Give him a chance, too. Think about it."

"Think about what? Leaving my kid behind and alone?" The 'like I had been' wasn't said. It was the proverbial elephant in the room that neither of them wanted to really touch on. 

"There's family ships. It's not the same Starfleet it once was. Promise me you'll at least consider it."

Jim's eyes drifted to where McCoy likely was. There'd never really been anyone who'd stood up for her with no ulterior motive other than honor before. Maybe Pike was right and there were good people there. He was definitely right about one thing. Starfleet really did need to change.

"I'll think about it." 

He jerked his uniform shirt down to straighten it and his smile was strained. "That's all I can ask. Shuttle leaves at oh eight hundred."

Jim watched as Pike left down the hall, nodding acknowledgement at security stationed at the end.

"And just what the do you think you're doing up?"

It was Jim's turn to pale at the sight of McCoy right fricken behind her, arms crossed and an impressive scowl in place. "You really should have a bell around your neck, Bones."

"And have my obstinate patients run out before they're released? Not likely." 

Jim jerked her head out at the hallway. "Well, I did see that at least one of them needed security." 

The brunette harrumphed. "Well, he was just being a baby. I don't abuse my patients, but I'm sure as hell not going to be sympathetic or especially gentle to assholes like him. A five year old wouldn't have put up as much fuss as he did." He fixed her with a skeptical look. "Although, you're as stubborn as one though."

"I aim to please." 

"Bed. Now." 

She slumped over to the gurney and reluctantly lay down while Bones sat down next to her. "Jim, I want to reiterate that I really think it'd be best for you to go to San Francisco. They don't even have anything for osteostim treatment here!" 

Jim flushes and looks away. 

"There isn't much else I can do for you other than what I have already done." He moves to meet her eyes. "I can put in orders to nephrology for your kidneys and a list of new prenatal meds, but that's the limit of what I can do. You have to take care of yourself...and that little one. You'd better bring that baby by for a visit." 

Biting the inside of her cheek, she knew she had some serious thinking to do now that Pike and Bones had stuck these thoughts into her head. 

"Give me a chance. Just one visit." 

Jim hates to admit it, but he and Pike might be right. 

McCoy leaned back in his chair, crossing long legs and put his feet up on the end of her bed. It was when he closed his eyes that she became concerned about the strange behavior. "Um-what are you doing?"

He cracked open an eye. "What does it look like? I'm taking a nap and monitoring a patient with a concussion. Multi-tasking at its finest."

Jim blinked at that. She hadn't had someone stay at her bedside since she was a little kid. "Why? Think I'll run away?"

"Kid, I wouldn't put it past you. Somehow, I think you've been running away for a long time."

"Don't you have to pack or something?"

McCoy simply closed his eyes and was definitely not moving. "Nope. I already told you all I've got is my bones."

She nudged his foot with one of hers. "So not true. You've got your sparkling personality and sarcastic, witty repartee."

"Shut up and go to sleep."

"Bossy."

He just huffed a breath in amusement. "You know it."

She settled down and pulled the blanket up over herself, smiling at the curmudgeonly doctor and his poorly attempted portrayal of indifference. She knew he cared. 

For the first time tonight, she thought of Spock. If she did join, would she run into him? She was equal parts hopeful and terrified. Starfleet was a big organization. It wasn't like they'd literally bump into each other the moment she'd step off the shuttle even if she was dumb enough to join.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so mean! Lol!  
> As a side note, I highly recommend the author NightOwl1 on AO3. Her stories are fun and amazing! If you haven't read them then you need to! "Special Delivery From The Stork", "The Various Meanings of T'hy'la", and "A Souvenir From Vulcan" are a lot of fun! Please give them a chance!  
> DarkWaters

Chapter Nine

xXx

Morning came all too soon for Jim and she felt a stab of disappointment that Bones wasn't there when she woke up. People alway left in the end. When she spied the PADD on the bedside table she picked it up. Curiosity was always her weakness. 

It was already powered on with a message attached to it. 

*"Kid, I'm leaving you my PADD to make your fool ass keeps in contact so I can keep an eye on you. I want to make sure I can talk to your doctors so they don't mess up all my hard work." 

Snorting a laugh, Jim kept reading.

*"I still say you're too stubborn for your own good. All I ask is one chance. Don't be an idiot. I'd better see that pointy-eared baby for a visit in a few months.  
McCoy"*

Trying unsuccessfully to smother a smile, she carefully swung her legs over the edge of the bed and got up. If that wasn't an invitation, she didn't know what was. Damn Pike and damn McCoy. They were making this too hard to say no. She might be pissed at Chris, but was it really worth her pride to risk her baby and be stuck in a boring ass career on some back-water planet that just didn't feel right? 

Grabbing her bag and McCoy's PADD, she pulled on her trusty leather jacket, mindful of the sling the older man had left for her left shoulder. Jim hauled ass to the shipyard and just caught McCoy as he was hesitating next to Pike on the ramp. The stark relief on both of their faces sealed the deal.

"Four years? I'll do it in three even with a baby."

Pike's face lit up as she gave a sloppy salute that was borderline insubordination. "I can believe that. Welcome aboard, Cadet Kirk."

She gave the doctor a slap on the back and received a glare in return. "Bones! I missed you!"

"Stop calling me that!" 

Jim's smile only grew at the growl and she placed her casted hand over her heart. "Why on Earth would I ever do that? We're besties! Destined to be BFFs! You're my star-crossed platonic soulmate and brother from another mother!"

She led the way into the shuttle and he followed as she knew he would. "We can make friendship bracelets."

His expression turned pained. "Oh, my god! Stop!"

On her right, Jim saw the men from the bar. All of them but cupcake were cuffed. Each one of them had varying levels of obvious injury and they all wore matching expressions of shock at the sight of her on the shuttle. Jim knew she looked like a hot mess. She had a limp, a sling on one side, a cast on the other, a pregnant belly that was pretty obvious, and her face had definitely seen better days. Even a Gorn would look better that she did right now. She tilted her head in greeting. "Gentlemen." When she spotted Uhura, Jim's jaw clenched and her steps faltered slightly. She'd stupidly forgotten that she'd be there. "And...lady." 

She took one of the last two available seats and struggled to buckle herself in and her new friend took pity on her and carefully secured her in. "Thanks, Bones. Now we're together we could even braid each other's hair!" She eyed the short, brown hair on his head. "Well, you could braid mine. I am totally your sister from another mister."

He looked resigned. "If I agree that we're-" Jim bounced excitedly with glee. "-BFFs, will you stop calling me that stupid moniker?"

"Nope."

Rolling his eyes, he started to buckle himself in. "God help me."

Jim chuckled in amusement and had to fight to hide the wince as her injuries made themselves known. She had to take a deep breath. The blonde could feel Uhura's eyes watching her so she took back to irritating Bones to distract herself. "I can't believe I got you to say BFFs."

The eye roll he did was epic.

"Well, I could always call you sweetums because you're such a cuddly, sweet-"

"I think I'll stick with Bones."

Jim gave him a playful slap on the shoulder and a nod of approval. "Good choice. More manly." She knew she was going to win.

As the engines began to power up, Bones' face drained of all color. That was new. She'd never thought she'd see an expression of fear on him. He'd shown compassion, anger, frustration, kindness, and a myriad of other emotions, but fear had never been one of them. "Hey, you okay?"

Bones' eyes closed and he held the straps of his own harness with a white-knuckled death grip. "I suffer from aviophobia. It means fear of dying in something that flies."

"You do know Starfleet operates in space, right?" She asked him with curiosity. "Plus, I think these things are pretty safe." She reassured him, remembering her survival as a newborn after the battle that took her father's death. If a small escape shuttle could survive a battle like that then a transport shuttle could easily make it across the US.

He opened one eye to look at her. "Don't pander to me, kid. One crack in the hull and our blood boils in thirteen seconds. Solar flare might crop up and cook us in our seats. See if you're still sitting pretty with a case of Andorian shingles. I'm sure you'll be relaxed as you're bleeding from your eyeballs. Space is disease and danger wrapped up in darkness and silence."

Grimacing, Jim tried to calm him again. "Nice imagery, Bones, and here I thought you were convincing me to come with you."

He suddenly looked unsure, but it was quickly replaced with returning horror as Pike announced they were taking off. The shuttle shook around them and his breathing picked up to almost the level of a panic attack. He looked close to passing out. Jim suddenly remembered a tactic Thomas and her had employed on Tarsus when the kids they were hiding with struggled to control their panic. Distraction.

A sharp turn only made it more believable. Jim gasped in not completely false pain and put an hand on her rounded belly. It worked. The immediate shift from terrified passenger to full blown doctor mode was actually a little unsettling and didn't bode well for her getting out of his mother-hen clutches after the shuttle landed in San Francisco. 

Worried hazel eyes looked into hers and large hands carefully held her chin as he checked her focus. Bones pressed his fingertips along her cheekbone and Jim didn't have to fake her expression of pain at the touch. She tried to pull away, but he skillfully followed her and checked her neck, moving to palpate on her shoulder, and flexing the exposed fingers on her right hand to check the circulation. 

His face was grim as he 'worked' and Jim had to fight to control her discomfort at being touched. It wasn't that she didn't trust him. It was more of a case of past trauma. Her face felt hot as he slowly opened her jacket and shifted the belt aside as much as he could to expose her rounded belly. Being sat down, it emphasized the fact that her abdomen was no longer flat and the reason for it was obvious. He didn't do more than press on it and gauge her reactions. A sharp inhale from across from her caused her to look up and see Uhura's face turn ashen at the sight. 

Gritting her jaw, she refused to do more than a quick glare at the other woman. It didn't matter that it had happened when she had been pregnant. What had happened to her was wrong in any situation even if she had been a man. Jim had foolishly hoped that she'd have had support from another woman. Starfleet officers, in her opinion, should always be held to a higher standard. They were supposed to be a good force in the universe. 

"Any fatigue?" Squinting at her, she tried to look relatively okay, but he didn't look convinced. "You do look tired. I'm not surprised considering last night." He forced her to follow his finger and squeeze his hands. "Dizziness, nausea, new pain, or cramping?" His voice was quiet to protect her privacy as much as was possible considering the close quarters they were in. 

Maybe she'd been a little too convincing. "Nooo." She said slowly.

The impromptu exam finished and she was finally able to relax when the words she was dreading were uttered. His eyes narrowed. "You're lying. When we get to campus I'm taking your ass to Starfleet Medical."

"But-"

Bones shook his head to dismiss her and he was deadly serious which was a familiar look to him that she'd seen only hours ago. "No buts, kid. Who's the doctor here?"

"I was going to go, but I wanted to get a bit of a nap and plus there's entry exams and orientation." Jim protested, but he was hearing none of it and shook his head.

Jim sulked and put her hand over her belly. "Dammit."

Chuckling, he sat back in his seat. "That's my line."

He crossed his arms and looked completely satisfied. Jim's eyes widened in sudden realization. "You knew I was faking?" 

"About halfway through. I know you're tougher than those idiots over there." He jerked his thumb towards the cuffed cadets. 

"Then why'd you keep bugging me if you knew I was okay apart from what was already going on?"

He shrugged. "Revenge mostly, but you do validly need to go in as soon as possible anyways. I did want to check nothing had worsened." His jacket creaked as he shifted in his seat to face her with eyebrows furrowed. "You are still hurt pretty bad and I need to finish your treatment now that I'll have access to equipment that's not from the dark ages. Plus, I need to get a consult from another doctor that I have been considering to help which will be possible now that I'm not in the sticks." 

Jim was touched. He'd clearly been thinking about her even with the possibility of never seeing her in person. Bones had done research and was making sure her and her baby would be well cared for. It was weird having someone actually give a shit and she hoped that he wouldn't abandon her once he got to know her like so many people did. "You know I'm not a big fan of doctors."

Bones smirked. "But I thought we were BFFs?" He threw back at her.

"I got you to say BFFs again." Jim's heart opened a little when he reached out to curl his fingers around hers. "I hate you so much right now."

"Doubt it."

"You're going to stick by me?" 

He must have heard the vulnerability in her voice and he gave her a reassuring smile. "Does a bear shit in the woods?"

Choking back a sob, she squeezed his hand back. "Not always. Sometimes they go in campsites."

His fingers tightened around hers and he didn't let go. "I'm not going anywhere, kid. Thank you for trusting me."

Jim turned away and her eyes burned as she tried to hide her tears from him. Maybe, just maybe, she could believe him.

As they left the shuttle, Jim and her new friend didn't see Pike watching them. They didn't see him typing in the orders to have the doctor moved from his single occupancy dorm and into a family unit with Jim nor did they see as he messaged the quartermaster to lie and give the excuse of lack of room due to them being last minute recruits. He could see they needed each other and if that was what it'd take to keep her near where he could keep her safe then he'd do it. She needed support and if she wouldn't let him do it then he was going to make sure somebody could until he could earn her trust again.

xXx

It had been sixteen weeks, two days, four hours, and thirty-two minutes since he bonded and the past twenty-four hours had been among the most concerning and stressful. Sensations unlike he'd ever experienced had bled through their bond causing him to be compromised. Fear, extreme pain, and anger had been among the strongest from her end and he was hatefully impotent in his ability to protect his mate. Something was very wrong and it caused him so much fear for her that he had been forced to seclude himself to prevent anyone seeing his loss of control over his emotions. He'd taken to pacing like a wild sehlat. He was desperate to find what and who was causing this to make his t'hy'la feel this. 

It had been all-consuming and his ability to project calm and some form of reassurance to her had been blocked at one point when their connection had been blanked for for more than three hours. The exact time had escaped him because of the lack of control he was able to implement. He was helpless to be there for her. What happening to her for her to be going through this? 

When he had felt her awaken there had been hope and relief that she was still there, but the pain was a continuous presence that concerned him greatly. His stress levels had calmed considerably during that period when he had felt her relief and it assisted him enough to somewhat center himself. 

His search for her had, once again, been met with failure. He was now suspicious of the name he had been given and had taken to simply searching by his memories of her physical appearance and estimated age. Their connection was still strong enough to imply she was still on Earth and had been growing stronger in the past five hours. She was likely close by. 

Not being able to have contact with his bondmate when he could sense she was in significant distress was causing more primitive behaviors that were a throwback to the time before Surak's teachings on his home world. It was an instinctual reaction to protect one's mate especially when they were parted and they were experiencing such difficulties. His people were touch telepaths and being in contact with their bondmates promoted a sense of wellbeing and mental health. Normally, a newly bonded couple were not parted until a standard Vulcan year had passed, the equivalent of thirteen months on Earth, to allow time for the bond to settle.

His ability to complete the tasks assigned to him and prepare for the classes he was to teach in a matter of days was near impossible. He did not want to admit it, but with their connection so strong, he needed assistance to temporarily dampen the bond for him to be able to rest and rebuild the tattered remains of his shields so he could help her. The semester was due to start in three days and that would mean his time to search would be extremely limited.

His options were limited with seeking assistance for his current ailments. When he had defiantly turned his back on his people he had made it to where it was going to be near impossible to see a Vulcan healer at the Embassy. There was no choice for him, but to seek assistance from an human physician. His research had led him to a Dr. Geoffrey M'Benga. Vulcan medical and mental care was a carefully guarded secret, but this one Federation doctor had been able to spend a year studying with the VSA during an internship which was unheard of. 

The commander donned his black instructor uniform and made his way to Stafleet Medical. No amount of meditation had helped more than a minimal amount. 

The main hospital campus and clinic off to one side was flooded with people of all species, the majority of which were wearing the vivid red of the cadet uniform. They were new arrivals and returning students coming in for their required physicals. Medical staff donning white were dotted here and there directing traffic to ensure there was some level of organization in the chaos. Occasionally there was a doctor dressed in blue scrubs rushing somewhere and looking harried. 

Spock hesitated within the doors which resulted in him being bumped into by several people. His shields were already strained with not being able to fully rebuild them due to his lack of peaceful meditation from the strained bond. So many unguarded minds in such close quarters caused him to grit his teeth. With the sheer amount of people here Spock was concerned that he would not be seen in a decent amount of time. 

A betazoid nurse caught sight of him and her black orbs widened in realization. His shields must have been weaker than he suspected if another telepath had been able to detect his difficulties. She moved quickly to collect him and cleared a path for him to minimize any further unshielded contact. He was able to check in and was quickly ushered through the bright, white halls and into a private exam room. It was strange. The further in he went, the calmer he felt. Perhaps the idea that he was seeking assistance that may be successful was influencing him. 

The atmosphere in the exam room was far different to that of his past experiences on Vulcan. For one, the room was brighter to accommodate humans. The temperature was also cooler than he preferred and it was far more clinical and strangely sterile. Understandable since Starfleet had a more diverse population, but it was still alien enough to cause him some discomfort. The last time he had been to this facility had been for his standard physical. 

"Commander Spock, what can I do for you?"

He had not even noticed the human enter the room. Perhaps he was worse off than he'd thought. 

He recognized Dr. M'Benga from his file. He had short dark hair and brown skin. His demeanor was calm and soothing to the young commander. He had clearly been well trained in handling telepaths. 

"I am-" It was a shameful thing for a Vulcan to admit. He forced himself to maintain the appearance of calm. "I am having difficulty meditating."

Frowning, the doctor went to the drawer and pulled out a basic tricorder. "Any other problems?"

"I am unable to get the required amount of rest to function at acceptable levels and my concentration has diminished over the last twenty-four hours." 

He ran the device over him and focused it on his head and heart. "Well, your blood-pressure is higher than I'd like. If you wouldn't mind lying down I'd like to get a more accurate scan of your brain."

Spock reluctantly complied and M'Benga pressed a command into the side-panel on the biobed which raised a clear band that hovered over his face and forehead. As he began the scan, his expression indicated curiosity. "Commander, I can see that certain areas of your cerebral cortex and the area of your brain where a marital bond would be located seems to be more active than normal. Is there something you want to tell me? It's a very different result from your bi-annual exam six months ago."

Spock considered his answer. While he knew that the doctor had spent a short time on his home planet learning at the VSA and at the main teaching hospital in Shi'Kar, it was unlikely he knew of the particulars involved with how a marital bond was cemented. "I have taken a bondmate." 

M'Benga's eyebrows drew down and he reread over the commander's file. "You're not listed as bonded or married or any variation thereof."

"It is...complicated." He said carefully.

Sighing, the doctor placed the PADD he had been consulting on a bedside table. "Look, Commander, you're going to have to be honest with me if you want me to help you. I can't in good conscience treat you if I don't have all the facts. A typical marital bond-" He typed in a few commands on the adjacent computer and turned the screen to face Spock. "-looks like this."

An image of a Vulcan male's brain was on display, multiple areas highlighted with increased neurological activity in the prefrontal cortex and a few other areas where telepathic function was normally found. The dominant colors were green and not showing large amounts of activity. 

"And here's your scan." 

The picture was replaced. Far larger areas were indicated showing hyper activity, but as the minutes wore on, Spock noticed the colors shifting slowly to green despite the larger areas. 

M'Benga paused, watching the screen and enlarging the areas that were changing color to green. "Hmm...that's weird. Readings seem to be stabilizing somewhat." M'Benga repeated the scan and the colors continued to change from an alarming orange to green, but there was still a high amount of activity. Spock could feel a calming influence the longer he was in the room. It was puzzling to him. He tentatively reached out a telepathic 'hand' to the connection between him and his mate and could sense that she was no longer in severe levels of pain. It reassured him on a very primal level and his fatigue from the past twenty-four hours started to make a rapid comeback. He could finally feel the possibility of him being able to finally rest.

"I've never seen something like this nor have I ever seen a stronger bond before. I suspect that your mate may have been under a great deal of distress, but your connection's heading back to safer readings now. It's still a little too unstable for my liking though." He faced Spock. "Are they close by? Normally, unshielded contact or close proximity to one's mate when something like this happens helps to heal and strengthen connections. This is why bondmates are not parted for the first year so they can establish a stable bond." 

Spock only just held back the grimace of shame that he hadn't been able to locate her and be there for her. "As I have previously stated, it is complicated."

"I have to ask, is she male or female? Sometimes, a same gender bonding can be more difficult, but, even then, the connections aren't typically this strong."

"Female."

A muscle ticked in his jaw as he worked through multiple theories. "Is she Vulcan?"

"No. Human."

He blinked rapidly in surprise and Spock was not shocked at his reaction. It was highly unusual for a Vulcan to bond with someone outside of their species. "Is she aware of the bond?"

He had to be honest. "I am unsure. It was created under extenuating circumstances." 

"Can you sense her?"

Horrible memories of the emotions he had experience from her half of their bond past day threatened to overwhelm him. "Yes. I do know she is hurt."

The young man took a deep breath and Spock wasn't sure if his answer had been received well, but he was grateful of the non-judgement with his next words.

"I have a theory, but it's only a theory. I think that it's several factors as to why this is affecting you so strongly. It's because it's a more intricate bond, she isn't aware and isn't close according to you, as well as the fact that she is undergoing some kind of difficulties." He ticked off the possible reasons on his fingers one by one. "It's likely a multitude of problems that are compounding the problem. It's bleeding through to you." 

M'Benga gave him a look of sympathy and understanding. "Vulcan males tend to be very protective of their mates to the point of possessiveness. It's a natural behavior to protect one's mate to ensure survival on such a harsh world and you are having to experience it without being able to fulfill that instinct. For now, I can see that your bond seems to be calming and I can only guess, but I think it's because whatever was causing strong emotions and distress with her is no longer happening. You still need at least twenty-four hours to recover from this stress."

He reached over to collect a hypospray. "There's two treatment options. One will only be a temporary solution because, if it is used over a long period of time, it can cause damage to the bond and harm to you. I could dampen the bond with a medication called lexorin to stabilize your readings." 

"And the other?" 

Snapping a cartridge into the device, he hesitated. "The other solution is to have closer contact with your mate even if it isn't physical. Reassurance that they are safe and nearby will help a great deal. Over time, you both will be able to maintain and create stability. The connection, especially one this strong which is unheard of, will heal. Best scenario, the two of you will become close enough to start to have unshielded contact and further cement your bond, but it may take time considering your bonding occurred under unusual circumstances. I've seen cases where both bondmates only have minimal contact and are able to stabilize even with only being together once ever few years after that first year. As long as there is some contact with your wife, it will help both of you. With a bond like yours, it shows an unusually strong mental compatibility so it's definitely needed more than usual. That'd be the best solution by far."

Spock had a sneaking suspicion that M'Benga was more aware than he had thought about the formation of bonds which suggested he knew of the biological cycle of the Vulcan male. "I understand. For now, the medication will have to suffice."

M'Benga's lips thinned in disapproval. "Very well." The slight sting of the shot and the sudden dulling of his connection to his t'hy'la made his skin crawl. It was wrong; so very wrong.

"Remember that this is temporary."

"My memory is unaffected." He bit out. 

"I know. I just want to emphasize that fact, commander." As he ran the tricorder over the Vulcan once more, he seemed satisfied with the readings. "You seemed to be stabilizing even before the shot so I don't think you'll need it long term. I'm not 100% sure why. Blood pressure looks good, but I want to see you again in a week." He gave a look of sympathy. "I know that you likely wanted to keep this quiet considering it wasn't reported to the Vulcan registry, your medical records, or in your profile, but I do have to report it at least in the last two. Reporting it to the Vulcan registry is up to you since it's not a legal requirement unless you live on Vulcan."

"Understood."

Holding up his hand in the ta'al, Dr. M'Benga stepped aside to leave. "Live long and prosper. I will see you in seven days for a follow-up."

He returned the gesture and waited for the doctor to leave to give himself a moment to collect himself. 

After ten minutes of meditation to minimally rebuild his defenses, he exited the room and his keen hearing picked up two male voices in the hall having a quiet conversation. One was familiar while the second was not. He recognized the calm tones of his treating physician and an accented voice that was a definite stranger. If his assumptions were correct, then it was a southern United States accent. 

Carefully looking around the corner, he spied Dr. M'Benga's back to him as was speaking with a brown-haired human in medical scrubs. His posture denoted fatigue and he was sporting an unshaven face. Dark circles lined hazel eyes and the PADD he was clutching had turned his fingertips white. 

"Dr. M'Benga, did you get the medical file I sent you? She's adamant that I be her primary physician and OB. I don't have a problem caring for her and I feel confident being her doctor for the pregnancy and delivery, but I'm no expert on human-vulcanoid hybrid pregnancies so I need a second set of eyes and I'd appreciate a consult."

His mother had always taught him to never eavesdrop as it was rude, but the phrase "human-vulcanoid pregnancy" stopped his feet from moving any further away. As far as he had been aware, he was the only hybrid in existence. 

M'Benga nodded and took the PADD from the brunette. "It's definitely going to be a challenge. I have no issue with you being primary since she's human, but I do ask that I be kept in the loop at all times. Would she be willing to let me exam her and be a part of her care team?" 

"Yeah. I made it pretty clear that it was a stipulation of her letting me be her primary. Right now she's hurt pretty bad. A group of cadets assaulted her so she needs treatment."

Spock's jaw firmed as he felt disgust at the idea of unnecessary violence. 

M'Benga hummed in response, his attention on the PADD. "I see." Frowning at whatever he was seeing, he returned his attention to the unknown doctor. "Well, I won't deny that this is going to be more complicated than a full-blooded pregnancy, but I'm sure that she'll stand a better chance of a healthy pregnancy and delivery now that she's here."

The younger doctor patted M'Benga on the shoulder with a relieved smile. "Thanks, Geoff. She's in exam three."

As the older man left, likely to check on his new patient, hazel eyes narrowed as he suddenly spotted the commander from his position around the corner. "Can I help you?" He asked insolently.

Spock straightened and moved out from his hiding place. "Unlikely."

With the glare being sent his way, Spock deduced that it was obvious to him that he had been listening to the conversation between the doctors. 

"Didn't your momma ever tell you that listening in on private conversations is rude." 

Raising a brow at the human's insolence, Spock was starting to become irritated, but he refused to rise to the bait. His eyes dated to the ID badge on the pocket of his scrubs. "I believe my upbringing is not your business, cadet."

McCoy bristled at the reminder of his limited rank. "Yeah. Just like my conversation with Dr. M'Benga wasn't any of your business."

Spock knew just how rare an hybrid pregnancy was. He'd never heard of another human bonding with a Vulcan, let alone become with child and have a successful pregnancy. His own mother had been very ill during hers and he knew how concerned and overprotective his father had been. "I only wished to offer assistance-"

The doctor straightened and Spock could see his patience was wearing thin. "Commander, is it?"

"Yes."

"If I need assistance I'll be sure to call." His words were laced with sarcasm.

Spock didn't appreciate being spoken to with such disrespect. "Are you even a doctor or simply a purveyor of snake oil and trinkets. Clearly this case is above your level of expertise and it may be wise to contact a Vulcan physician." 

Spock felt a small surge of satisfaction as the human's face turned red in fury. "Why you-"

He gave a curt nod as the human's eyes flashed dangerously, his clenching into fists at his sides. "Doctor." He dismissed.

Spinning on his heel, he left, the doctor's angry sputtering fading as he moved further away. Spock hoped he would eventually be fortunate enough to meet the human carrying a child like him. He well remembered the taunting and discrimination from his peers growing up. He felt a kinship to the unborn child and wished to provide guidance and support for as long as he could and if the human mother would allow it. He did not wish for the child to feel as alone as he had.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! Well, here's the big chapter (part one) of the discovery! Now, this one is just from Spock's POV. The next one is Jim's which is going to be equally entertaining. ;)  
> I'm cackling at when they first fully meet! Especially now that he knows who she is and where she is!   
> In regards to my little one's health, poor kid is still having screaming episodes that haven't been diagnosed. She's going to be admitted to the hospital (again) on Wednesday to fully focus on finding a reason for this. It's heartbreaking seeing her in such agony.   
> This many stays (4 this month) is killing us financially and mentally. I'm hoping that it'll be figured out soon. I hate that she has to go through this and, since she's nonverbal, she can't tell us where she hurts or what she is feeling so it's basically a guessing game.  
> Writing this chapter proved to be a small challenge, but a welcome distraction. I actually have already written Jim's discovery, but I want to tweak it a bit before I post it. It also would have made the chapter super long.   
> As always, I treasure reviews, ideas, and constructive criticism. Kudoses make me jump for joy and definitely cheer me up so hit that button up!   
> Thank you so much for reading and giving this story a chance!  
> DarkWaters

Chapter Ten

Nyota Uhura rarely was unsure on how to proceed with something in regards to communication. She'd never had a problem with talking to those around her and understanding people, but this was different. She just didn't know how to approach this. Her guilt at not doing more, at not stopping it before it went too far, and not figuring it out sooner was eating her alive.

When everything at the Riverside bar had gone down she'd felt so much fear. When she had seen the blonde bartender that had flirted with her attacked she had shamefully felt a mixture of relief that it wasn't her, but also horror and disgust at the men hurting her. She'd been so afraid. Uhura had stupidly never taken a self-defense course in her life, had always been sheltered by family because of her academics, and she'd never seen something like that happen. All of her life she'd been in control with everything and to be helpless was a new and terrifying experience.

She simply hadn't known what to do. All she had been able to do was to call for help and it had taken so long-too long. She'd tried to pull one of the monsters away and had been thrown off as little more than a rag doll, landing on her ass and stunned. The devastation that had been done had been immense. Multiple patrons tried to stop it and she'd accomplished nothing in her efforts apart from calling for help like a child.

For the past two weeks, the young cadet had been searching for Jim and hadn't been able to find her. How on earth did she do it? She just disappeared constantly like smoke in the wind. She was clearly not taking the same focus in linguistics which was surprising given Jim's clear knowledge of the subject. Science and medical track just seemed...wrong for her and it was very unlikely she was taking something like security so that left engineering, computer sciences, and command track. 

She'd asked her new roommate Gaila if she'd met Jim and it'd been a questionable negative answer, but she suspected that Gaila was avoiding her inquiries. Many incorrectly assumed linguistics was simply learning and interpreting vocal languages, but there was so much more involved. Physical languages such as sign language for non-verbal or species and humans that could not hear was just as important. Body language was a language in and of itself as well and Gaila was definitely showing that she knew more than she was telling, but was refusing to talk about it despite still being relatively friendly to her.

That eliminated engineering and computer sciences.

Her last hope was command track. She didn't typically associate with those in that field so she didn't really get answers there. 

Uhura had been able to find the doctor who'd been caring for Jim. They seemed close like they had known each other for forever and it brought up the possibility that maybe he was her partner or husband and Jim simply had been nice to her for playful fun which only intensified her guilt. When she'd gone to Starfleet Medical she'd been met with open hostility by Dr. McCoy and he had been of no help.

It was evening when she spotted a young Bolian holding the hand of his child and walking towards a large building that housed the medical cadets. His bright blue skin contrasted sharply with his cadet reds. It reminded her of the Pacific Ocean on a warm summer day. The cranial ridge ran from the back of his skull to the bridge of his nose and his eyes matched the aqua color. The little girl skipped alongside him and he was quietly talking to her with a small smile at the child's antics.

Running across the quad, she ignored the automated instructions telling her to use the designated pathways from the ground sensors in the grass. 

"Excuse me! Wait!" 

It wasn't until she was right behind them that they finally turned.

"I'm looking for someone and I hope you can help me."

A slight frown caused his forehead ridge to wrinkle. "I might be able to help."

Uhura hoped that was the case. "Thank you! She's about this tall." She held up her hand a couple of inches shorter than herself, hoping she got it right. "She's blonde and she's pregnant. Her name's Jim Kirk. She's-"

Sudden understanding dawned on the Bolian. "Oh, you mean Jamison!" 

The little girl rolled her eyes dramatically and tugged on her father's arm. "Dad, you know she hates bring called that!" Her eyes glowed in happiness at the mention of Jim. Clearly she had a skill for enchanting those around her and Uhura, again, wondered just what might have happened if she'd let the blonde in. Breathing a sigh of relief at finally having a lucky break, she opened her mouth to continue he'd questioning, but he was focused on the child.

"Well, what else am I supposed to call her, Tabryn? That is her name and we are always taught to refer to a person by the proper-"

"Thank you! Do you know where she might live?" Uhura interrupted. She knew she was being rude, but she needed to see Jim. She needed to know she was alright and to apologize.

He slowly looked back up to face her. "She lives in the family unit floor above us in Phlox Hall, apartment D-712. It's one of the larger ones since she lives with that boy friend doctor of hers."

Not even realizing her mistake at noticing the space between the words boy and friend, she blinked in surprise. She couldn't help her curiosity at Jim's unique situation. She'd suspected her and Dr. McCoy were boyfriend and girlfriend. "Oh?"

"Oh, yes. That boy friend of hers is very kind. He has made us the human dish called cookies." That hadn't been her type of experience with her meetings with McCoy, but she was hardly surprised. 

"They were not good." He wrinkled his nose in clear disgust. "They were very sweet. Jamison's were more tasty, but the young doctor told me she had burned them and that was not how they were supposed to be. I preferred hers." 

When he continued to discuss the merits of Jim's "cooking", she remembered her cultural training with their species and how much bolians typically talked and relished conversations like it was a treasured art. They were a very social species. Her eyes unconsciously drifted to her watch and she knew she had to get to Jim's apartment before it became too late in the night.

"Thank you! I've got to get going if I'm going to catch her!" 

Blinking in surprise at her rudeness, he stepped aside to let her pass. After all, he'd started to come accustomed to human behaviors and watched as the human ran towards the complex.

Uhura made her way to the fourth floor. Their unit was right at the end and pressed the door chime. Inside she could hear two voices and she recognized them both. 

*"Aw, Bones, you know I can't live without my lo-mein."*

There was a murmur of a reply that was too muffled to hear, but Jim's answering laugh came closer. *"Yeah. Yeah, I know all about the dangers of eating Chinese food. When it claims my life you can write a beautiful eulogy to commemorate my awesomeness and declare your undying love for me."*

The door opened and Jim's sunny smile immediately slid off her face when she realized who was on the other side. "What are you doing here?"

Her words of apology suddenly seemed inadequate and left her completely. The pregnant blonde crossed her arms and scowled at her silent visitor. "Uh-" She internally winced at the inarticulate reply and tried another. "You're really hard to find. I've been looking since we got to campus."

Jim's frown deepened and she crossed her arms on top of her belly. She'd clearly been ready to simply eat and sleep if her dressing gown was any indication. Uhura's eyes drifted down to it and, automatically, the blonde adjusted the blue robe to try and conceal it from her sight. "I'm not. Not really. Been here a while, but since you went to so much trouble, what do you want?" 

She winced at the harsh words dripping with sarcasm. She deserved it and more. "I didn't know you were pregnant." 

Rolling her eyes, she moved to lean against the doorway, a clear invitation for Uhura to hurry up and get to the point. "So...you finally made an excellent observation and deduction. Maybe your first name is Sherlock."

"I didn't know what was going to happen." She tried.

Jim snorted in disbelief. "You must either be ignorant of the ways of the world or just plain stupid. I thought you were a linguist and body language is one form of communication. It was obvious they were animals especially considering they were traveling in a pack." She paused. "No. That's an insult. Animals are smarter."

"I swear I didn't know." She plead, but Jim just glared harder.

"You know, us women should have a sense of solidarity and especially those in Starfleet should stand up for what is right. You're a disgrace to that uniform." Her eyes narrowed and shot daggers at her. "I think you thought you were better than me simply by virtue of you being in Starfleet and I was a lowly bartender. You thought you were more intelligent and worth more and you seemed pretty willing to stand by and do nothing to stop them from from outright molesting me." Jim's face twisted in anger as she continued her tirade and every single word hit her hard enough to cause her to step back. "Would you have stood by while he raped me? Was it ok as long as it wasn't you? Fuck. You. And the horse you rode in on." Jim snarled and Uhura didn't know what to do.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She told her pathetically. She knew it was inadequate, but she had to try.

Jim reared back in shock at finally hearing an apology. As she scanned Uhura's face, she seemed to see her sincerity. Really see it and the linguist hoped that she'd accept her apology. She focused on her brown eyes. Her grandmother had once told her they were the window to the soul. She'd never thought of herself as a bad person and she desperately wanted Jim to see her as a good person and maybe they could get to know each other better and become, if not friends, then at least friendly acquaintances. "I guess I should accept your apology." She said hesitantly.

Sagging in relief, she almost collapsed. "Thank you!"

Jim looked away and sighed. It seemed to be a sad acceptance and it hurt her so much to see such a thing; to see a person who had clearly been used to such abuse and seen too much cruelty in the universe. "I know that there wasn't a lot you could have done especially against those thugs." Turning back to look at her, she ran a hand through her messy blonde hair. "I know you called for help. Thank you for that. I'm think they would have killed me had you not done that. At the very least they would have killed my baby and possibly raped me."

Her heart broke with what she was saying. "I know. I'm so sorry."

Jim seemed to shake off the negative emotions and she wondered how many times she'd had to do something like that in her life. "I do, however, reserve the right to reparations."

Blinking rapidly, she wondered just what Jim meant. "I..guess that's fair."

Jim smiled and it was just as sunny and bright as the one she'd seen when she'd opened the door, but there also seemed to be a hint of mischievousness behind it. There was still a hint of a wall between them and she'd have to work hard to earn her trust, but Jim was throwing her an olive branch and she took it happily. "I still want that first name."

It was like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. The playful banter between them only proved that she forgave and did so quickly. Uhura smiled. "Not a chance in hell."

The pregnant cadet laughed delightedly at the sassy reply. "We'll see. I can promise you that I totally will get it, Sarah." She smirked.

"Wrong again."

"This is gonna be fun." Jim winked and and bounced off, shutting the door behind her.

Uhura had no doubt that she'd get it, but it'd be quite a ride to do so and she knew it was going to be fun. Somehow, she had a feeling that this game between them would only bring them closer. Jim was like a bright star and she was lucky enough to orbit her and gain a friendship between them. 

*"Hey, Bones, you missed Suzanne."*

*"Who the hell is that?"*

The feminine voice got louder as if she was shouting through the door. *"I know you're still there, Miranda! I know all about your oral sensitivity!"*

She huffed a laugh and started to walk away when she realized what Jim had really said. "Hey! It's aural sensitivity!"

Jim was hysterical as she giggled on the other side. *"Was wondering when you'd pick that up."* She shouted back. *"It's a comm officer's lot in life for that to be misspoken plus I gotta keep you on your toes for you to be a decent linguistics ninja."*

Shaking her head at the playful antics, she knew it was going to be an interesting couple of years with Jim at her side in whatever capacity the woman was willing to allow.

xXxSpock's POVxXx

It was two weeks since his visit to medical and Spock was at peace for the first time since his bonding. The emotions he'd been getting through his connection to his mate had been a calm contentment mixed with a happy sort of excitement. It was far stronger than it had been in the past four and a half months and the perfect, golden thread connecting him and his wife seemed to not be stretched to its limit anymore. He had not had to return to Dr. M'Benga for another dose of lexorin which had been a great relief. It had dulled his senses and, while he had been able to collect himself, it had caused him to feel a block in his bond between him and his mate that was unnatural and chemically induced. 

"So commander, how are you faring in your new position? I know teaching is a new experience for you."

Currently, Captain Pike was taking him on a peaceful walk during a break between classes. While he'd served on multiple Starfleet vessels and been in close contact with humans and other species, it had never been with this large of a number. It reminded him of when he had been a cadet himself. At times, it was disconcerting, but it wasn't too stressful. Many kept a deliberate distance and seemed to find him an intimidating, aloof figure, preferring to stay away. That behavior extended to many of the other staff and he felt alone. Other than Captain Pike, very few attempted to spend time with him.

He was still alone. Too human for Vulcan and too Vulcan for Earth. It was a sadly familiar situation, but at least this time he had one person firmly at his side and a strong bond to another which gave him hope that he would not remain so forever. 

"I find it to not be such a dissimilar situation to when I served on the USS Endeavor. There were many instances when I educated the science department on proper procedures and what was required of them as officers."

Shaking his head in amusement, the captain continued to walk alongside him through the halls leading to the pathways outside that would take them to the staff building where the main offices were located. "I know that, Spock, and when are you going to call me Chris? I've asked you to many times especially when we're off duty.

Spock allowed himself a small frown at the request. "It is improper to refer to a superior officer in such a familiar fashion, sir." 

Pike's face fell in disappointment, but he continued his friendly demeanor as they discussed the various projects they were both working on until the completion of the Enterprise's construction. They were both eager to get back into the black. Exploring the unknown was a passion of his, but his bond was drawing him to remain. It was a struggle being pulled into two directions. 

They were walking along the path leading to the auditorium when it hit him. His bond lit up as if he had walked from the shade into warm, blinding sunlight. It was such a strong sense of her! Her amusement and happiness was so strong! He knew she was close-so close. He couldn't believe his fortune. How was this possible? He'd known she was on planet, but this was very different and suggested a close enough proximity to be able to even see her in person.

Spock had to stem his reaction, but his eyes roamed the quad, determined to find her. There was no way she wasn't there! 

"Spock? Are you alright?" 

He reached out with his half of the bond, careful to remain calm. He knew his mate was skittish. She'd hid herself well over the past eighteen weeks for some unknown reason. He couldn't let her run away once more without even having the chance to speak with her.

"Commander Spock!" 

Startled out of his desperate search, Spock jumped at the stern shake of his arm. Captain Pike was staring at him, concern in his gray eyes. "You ok? You looked like you-" He shook his head. "-hell, I don't know, but you looked kind of out of it."

Spock's attention was split between the search for his t'hy'la and Pike's concern that was transferring, albeit muffled, through his hand on his clothed sleeve. "I can assure you that I am functioning-" 

And there she was walking out into the sunlight, her golden hair sparkling, starting to fall out a barely regulation tie as if it was trying to escape the confines of order much like he believed she would. He may not know her more than what he had learned from their bond and meld, but he did know she was a force to be reckoned with and would never bow down to authority if she thought it was ethically wrong. Her respect for Spock proved she had strong morals in terms of right and wrong. Next to her stood male cadet. Spock recognized him from the hospital. Dr. McCoy had been a thoroughly unpleasant individual. 

She threw her head back in laughter as she walked backwards in front of the Doctor, her body half hidden behind the rose bushes near the cafeteria and social building where the rec rooms were housed. 

She was so close, her mind calling to him like a siren even if she didn't fully realize their connection and the close proximity of him. Longing swept through him. He needed to get to her, to see her, to be close, and be with his mate. He had to explain everything. His mate stopped and shook her head, confusion lining her features. So, she did have some awareness of their bond.

Pike followed his gaze to where the blonde was standing. "Ah, yes. Jamison Kirk. She's a new recruit. I was lucky enough to personally recruit Jim."

Jim. The name rolled around in his mind and it just seemed so right. 

"She's one hell of a genius and I know she'll do great things."

Pike's voice was distant as he gazed hungrily at his t'hy'la. His place was at her side. He took a step forward to go to her.

Spock watched as female cadet joined the pair. Jim shook herself and her expression cleared of the confusion. She started to talk to the new cadet and put her arm around Dr. McCoy in a clearly affectionate way that was suggestive that it was not a platonic gesture. It was when she placed a chaste kiss on his cheek that the doctor to turned a vivid red. The cadet to walked away in clear disappointment after a very short conversation. Spock stiffened at the familiarity of her actions and a surge of jealously caused him to growl under his breath. "Are they together?" 

Captain Pike pulled his attention away from the pair and focused on the vulcan. "No." He said slowly. "They’re just friends. I figured it’d be a good idea to put them together. They’re both outsiders here and it’d be good for them. He’s older and a doctor and can keep an eye on her." 

Jim stepped out from the bushes, her arm still around the doctor and he saw her fully and couldn't hide his shock. She was wearing a loose fit maternity cadet uniform. He'd only seen six other cadets at SFA who had worn it, but Jim looked different from them. She seemed to glow and was the most beautiful sight he'd ever seen. While the fabric was not stretched tight across her abdomen, it did emphasize she was carrying. "She is with child?" 

"I figured he could keep an eye on her. She's going to be struggling with a tough pregnancy." Pike murmured.

Spock's eyes were fixed on her rounded belly and ran a quick calculation, estimating her size with when they had been together during his pon farr. While he wasn't a medical expert, he was confident that it was his child. He thought over the emotions he'd received from her and the timeline appeared to fit. He was going to be a father.

One of T'Pring's reasons for the breaking of their childhood bond was the assumption he would be infertile due to his mixed heritage. He'd assumed it as well and, as a result, he'd never been tested. Clearly, they'd been wrong. 

He fought his instincts to be there and protect his mate. She was pregnant with his child and had her arm around another male! He well remembered the pain and fear that had bled through their bond a mere two weeks ago. It was shameful enough that he hadn't been there to protect her, but to not have also been there to protect his unborn child as well? He should be strung up and left out in the Vulcan desert to burn under the harsh suns for the le-matyas to tear apart as punishment for being such an inadequate mate. He couldn't fail again. He wouldn't fail again. 

Horrible thoughts entered his mind. What if he'd never found her? He would have never known about his child. He would have never had to chance to truly know her; all of her. He would have died during his next pon farr and it would have possibly killed her with the psychic backlash in her unprotected mind.

What Pike said suddenly broke through his thoughts and he couldn't suppress his sudden worry. "A tough pregnancy, sir?"

Pike looked back out at the pair on the quad where McCoy was glaring at the blonde, but clearly still treating her carefully and not pulling away. Jim shrugged and was still smiling, saying something that caused McCoy to roll his eyes.

"Yeah. It's a mixed species kid. She's alone and it looks like the father isn't in the picture. I got the impression that he wasn't interested." Smiling sadly, Spock could see the concern etched on his face.

Jim suddenly twitched in the other man's arms and McCoy stopped their forward motion, swinging around to face her. While he had a frown on his face, she suddenly smiled and placed both of her hands on her belly hidden under the vivid red fabric of her uniform. Spock could feel her joy and happiness that exploded into his mind like a supernova. It was when a soft smile changed the doctor's whole demeanor that it confirmed that his worry was unfounded and she wasn't hurting. 

Jim reached out and took the other man's hands, placing them on her belly and Spock clenched his fists. He was touching her intimately. He was feeling what Spock should be feeling. It was inappropriate. He was feeling his child kick. She was his and he was hers. McCoy had no right to be taking such liberties with his t'hy'la! His hold over his emotions wavered and surprise and shock came streaming into his thoughts. Jim froze a second time and suddenly touched her head. Her forehead wrinkled as she rubbed at her temple.

"Do not be so sure about that." He growled possessively. 

Pike frowned at him and Spock took a deep breath, trying to calm his frustration. 

"Is there something you need to tell me, Commander?" He asked carefully.

Spock tore his eyes away from the sight. "I believe the child is mine, sir."

Pike jerked back in surprise. "Excuse me? Yours?" He shook his head, disbelief coloring his words. "I didn't take you for a love them and leave them type of man."

Spock straightened into a loose parade rest and clasped his hands behind his back to hide them from sight. It was a skill to be able to hide physical tells of emotion that he'd learned from his father who was a respected diplomat. He needed to end this conversation and do so quickly. "I'm not." He said impatiently.

"I thought Vulcans only mated with their spouses."

"She is my bondmate. I was-" His eyes drifted once more to her, dropping briefly to her belly where it housed his progeny. "I was unaware of certain facts regarding her and, as a result, things are not fully settled." 

Pike's eyebrows rose in surprise. "I never thought I'd see the day Jim Kirk got married and to a Vulcan of all things. It wasn't on her entrance paperwork." Sighing sadly, the older man's eyes followed his to his mate. "Well, Spock, if that's the case then you need to tread carefully as much as possible. She's had a tough time of it. Jim's been abandoned more times than I can count and she's stubborn. She puts up walls that are strong enough to keep almost anyone out."

There was clearly more to that story, but, right now, Spock didn't care. "Then I will just have to break through those walls." He must not fail. He would not fail. 

Pike chuckled at the determination. "I'm real happy to hear that. Mazel Tov, by the way." He slapped a hand on his back and Spock raised a brow at the gesture.

He suddenly sobered. "You do realize that by being bondmates that it is considered the equivalent of being married and, unless the bond is broken, are housed together. You need to register your bond with her at minimum.”

"I intend to." He promised. He would not let her out of his sight again. He would keep her safe and win her heart.

"You do know she's not gonna like it." He warned. 

"I am aware, sir. She may not 'like it', but she must face facts." 

Pike gave him a look of sympathy for the challenge the young Vulcan would face in his efforts to win her heart completely. "Good luck." 

The conversation was finally over, but when he started to move to where Jim was she was gone. Why was she constantly running? Now that he found her he was not letting her go without a fight.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all,  
> Well, my little one's hospital admission didn't go as planned. A snowstorm made it impossible to get to the hospital so we're hoping for next week. She seems to be doing a bit better so maybe whatever it was is healing on it's own which is good, but bad because that means we don't know what it was and how to prevent it in the future.  
> Since she's had such a pretty calm few days I got a chance to write Jim's POV on the discovery of her beau being on campus. :)  
> Again, I'm hoping I got the characters right and I can't wait to see what everyone thinks! Lol! It's gonna be behind epic when he catches her! I can't wait to get things really going between the pair because it's so much fun!  
> As always, I love hearing from everyone and every single kudos makes me squeal in joy.  
> DarkWaters

Chapter Eleven

xXxJim's POVxXx

"Oh, Bones, you worry too much. One burger and some fries isn't going to kill me." Spinning around to face her best friend, Jim walked backwards just to rile him up further.

"I'm not exactly in the mood to perform a triple bypass to fix the clogged arteries you'll get from that plate of death." 

Jim threw her head back, laughing at his overprotectiveness. "You are such a drama queen!" Over the past two weeks, Jim had not felt this good since she had found out she was pregnant. She was finally able to keep down most of her food and was back to almost normal. The downside was being stabbed with too many hypos by the OCD and very devoted doctor. It was a very different experience for her to have someone honestly care about her in more than a professional manner plus it helped that he could actually cook. Replicated food tended to make her nauseous. 

"Stop that! You're going to break your damn fool neck!" 

Jim rolled her eyes and turned around to walk properly next to him. "You're no fun. You do know that, right? You're being a pessimist."

"I'm a realist, kid."

Jim nodded absently and continued walking. "You say tomato, I say tomato."

McCoy sputtered next to her which caused her to have to stifle her laughter.

"That's not the same thing! It's supposed to be 'you say to-may-to, I say to-mah-to'."

"You say potato, I say potato." Jim didn't even have to look at him to know he was probably going about as red as one of his to-mah-toes. 

"Lord, give me strength. I'm best friends with a child." He murmured.

She practically bounced with happiness. "Told you we's be besties! When have I ever been wrong?"

"Let me count the ways-" 

Jim shushed him. "Besties!"

That groan was music to her ears. He never meant it. It was his way of accepting the inevitable and unchangeable facts. 

One thing she'd noticed in the last week was that her sense of smell had increased and she felt cold a lot of the time so stepping out into the bright sun and smelling the rose bushes was amazing. Being cooped up all day listening to Professor Schmitt drone on about first contact for two hours had almost put her to sleep. He hadn't even included multiple other witness accounts documenting differing stories. While some were considered controversial and spoke of cybernetic beings, people from the future, and a whole bunch of other things that seemed like movie plot storylines, Jim took a more open stance on those statements. While some seemed embellished, there were others that were definitely believable. 

She'd just closed her eyes to enjoy the bright warmth when an intense wave of want-no-desperation-no-it was longing that washed over her. Yes. Longing was the best description for it. Stopping her forward motion, she gave her head a tiny shake, frowning when the strange sensation didn't fully go away. It was like it was deliberately focused on her like a laser beam and it kind of stayed there, but it's strength dissipated after a minute, but it didn't leave her completely.

"Jim?" 

"Hmm?" She hummed. Jim sure as hell wasn't going to tell Bones about this. It was too weird. She'd already gotten funny looks from M'Benga when he'd checked her over. She still hated doctors even though her best friend was one.

"You ok?" He asked.

She hated lying to him and wasn't very good at it. Sometimes it sucked having a genius as her best friend. "I'm fi-" A very convenient distraction in the voluptuous form of Nurse Wright came up to them and Jim was happy to push his worry for her away.

The blonde nurse was one Jim might have gone for six months ago pre-baby. Soft curves, long legs that went on forever, and a cute pixie cut that gave a hint of playfulness. The only problem was that her looks didn't reflect how she behaved. The woman was about as interesting as rice pudding and just as bland. She seemed to have the antiquated wish of the whole white picket fence and two point five children thing going on even though she'd signed up for Starfleet. To make matters worse she was one of those that believed in no sex before marriage. Jim knew that marriage and the idea of it was still a raw spot for him considering he'd only just escaped a bad one with Jocelyn.

The change that took over her best friend at the sight of the curvy nurse was immediate. His body language became open and his focus on Jim almost seemed to fade into the background. While that normally didn't bother her in the slightest since she had no issue with him being interested in other women in a romantic way, it was the way that the nurse was eyeing Bones that bothered her. She was a woman on a mission and it wasn't for fun. 

Jim didn't want him to go through another Jocelyn incident or for still healing wounds to be opened. Bones had been lucky that they hadn't had kids together. She dreaded to think how much it would have killed him to potentially have had to leave them behind because Jocelyn was a vindictive bitch and probably would have done so much more damage to this kind man. She'd sent Bones a package of his belongings and one of the items was his grandmother's quilt that had been given as a wedding gift to the pair. It was an antique that had been given down through the McCoy family for three generations and she'd hacked it up like tissue paper. 

Jim was in the process of trying to repair it with help from another cadet, M'Ress, who was gifted at sewing and refinishing fabric antiques as a hobby so they didn't lose their value and Mrs. McCoy, Bones' mom was in on the project. They were planning on adding a row since the old human custom was to add one when something major in the person's life changed to commemorate the event. While she sucked at sewing, she tried her best under the patient tutelage of M'Ress. She wanted him to no longer associate it with Jocelyn and to focus on the good parts of the past and the hopeful future he was embarking on. 

"Dr. McCoy! I was hoping I'd run into you." Wright was breathless and Jim wasn't sure if it was the fact that she'd rushed over like a tornado or the attempt at trying to seem like some vulnerable woman vying for attention. The pointed look directed at Jim to silently tell her to leave them definitely wasn't one of vulnerability. It was more like a tiger's that was protecting her hunt for prey against a potential rival. 

Jim's eyes drifted to Bones. As if. He was like a brother not a lover. Gross.

That didn't stop her from doing her sisterly duty of protecting him. 

The nurse's jaw clenched in frustration at Jim ignoring her silent demand to leave, but she was a trooper and turned her focus back to the doctor and her smile was absolutely predatory. She fluttered her eyelashes so much that Jim was surprised her friend didn't whip out a tricorder to check her for nystagmus. Bastard kept those annoying things hidden and pulled them out at embarrassing moments-probably just to mess with Jim.

Poor, innocent, naive Bones. He had no clue. Plus the stereotypical nurse/doctor relationship thing was highly overrated and usually never worked out well for either party. 

"I was hoping to ask if you'd like to get a coffee together-" She tried to reach out and lay a hand on his arm, but the distance was a touch too far. "-alone." She added pointedly to Jim who blinked rapidly in surprise at the obvious rudeness.

She had to give the girl credit. She definitely went after what she wanted with thrusters on full. Time to put an end to this before it got too serious.

"Well, I'd-" 

Jim slid her arm around Bones' shoulders, adopting a false smile that looked friendly enough to fool even the most observant of people. "I'm sure he'd love to. He loves getting to know his team. He's such an amazing team leader with those he works with." She faced him with a saccharine smile and the man stiffened slightly in her arms in shock. "Isn't that right, honey?" 

The change was instantaneous. Wright's whole attitude shifted from interested to embarrassment to disgust so fast that it caused Jim to practically feel the whiplash of emotion. 

"You two are together? I didn't realize you were married. I had thought that-"

"Well, when you say 'together' that could mean so many things. We're two peas in a pod, aren't we sugarplum?" She pressed a chaste kiss on his cheek and the heat radiating off his face was impressive. She wasn't sure if it was anger or embarrassment on his part, but she didn't really care right now. "As long as you have him home at a reasonable hour, I don't mind. He works so hard, after all." 

Jealously and a dark sense of possessiveness curled around her brain like a guard dog that was taking up residence, the earlier longing pushed to the background, but not gone completely. Jim frowned at the weird feeling, but pushed her confusion at the random feeling aside to be able to play her part.

The woman's eyes darted between the pair and Jim decided to deliver the death blow. "I mean, he just gets so overprotective of me and the baby that I would almost welcome a break." Not a complete lie. A half-truth always worked better than an outright lie. 

The nurse began to stutter, her eyes finally focusing on her belly which Jim started to rub in a full-blown show. "Uh-congratulations to the both of you." 

Jim smirked and felt the heat from Bones get worse. "I think he's available tonight if you want to steal him for a couple of hours." She turned to look at him and could practically see the vein throbbing in his temple. "Isn't that right, sweetheart?"

His head rotated and hazel eyes were practically firing photon torpedoes at her. She was surprised she didn't incinerate on the spot. The pregnant blonde had to fight to hide her wince.

"No. No, it's alright. I wouldn't want to impose." Jim could see the disappointment all over the woman and she almost felt bad for her had she not heard some of the more judgmental and derogatory things she'd said about other patients and cadets who were single parents.

"If you're sure-" 

Holding up her hands, palms forward in surrender, she backed away. "I've got somewhere to be." She threw a sad look at him. "I'll see you in clinic later-maybe."

Nurse Wright beat a hasty retreat. She was moving away so fast that it was like she was being chased by Admiral Archer's prized beagles. 

McCoy took a step forward, "Jen, wait!" But the woman either didn't hear him or chose to ignore his plea.

When he turned slightly in Jim's arm that was still around him, his expression was murderous. "-the hell, Jim? What was that about?" 

"You're welcome, Bones." 

Sputtering in indignation, he looked ready to kill or hypo her. It was totally a toss-up. She didn't fail to notice he didn't throw her arm off of him, though. He was mad, but not enough to fully lose it on her. "I'm welcome? Seriously?"

She shrugged, the act pulling her top up enough to stretch against her belly a little tight for comfort. She was gonna have to upgrade soon. "She's far too mousey and uptight for you plus she only wants one thing." 

"And just what might that be oh, mighty wise one?" He asked, sarcasm dripping from each syllable.

"I'm glad you finally see the value of my wisdom." Jim winked at him in spite of the irritated glare still being directed at her. "I doubt you want a brood of little McCoy's right now especially with someone like her."

McCoy still looked skeptical, but Jim rolled her eyes at his naïveté. "Dude, you remember last week when she was talking about how a ground posting would be a smart move because you both aren't big fans of space and you'd both be able to-"

"That could mean anyth-"

"Plus, I overheard her in the bathroom talking about you with Trina about 'that hot doctor' and that he'd be a great father and she didn't want to work forev-"

"I do want kids someday, Jim." 

Rolling her eyes, she pulled him closer. "And you'll be a great dad, but she also is a bitch." 

"Fine. I trust your judgement on this." He interrupted. 

"Was there ever any doubt? I am all seeing, all knowing-" 

"Don't let it get to your already swollen head. I don't think I have a hypo to fix that."

Slapping her hand on his chest, she gave him a look of sympathy. "You'll find the right person if that's what you really want."

He slumped in relief, clearly seeing that Jim was right in her interpretation of the nurse's machinations. His eyes followed the, now running, woman as she fled the scene. 

"You're also always talking about not shitting where you eat. Figured I'd remind you of your wonderful words of wisdom." She pointed out.

McCoy rolled his eyes and she became even more serious. "Plus, it'd be a pain in the ass and really awkward working at the clinic when things went south."

They started to walk forward towards their next lectures. Jim had Interspecies ethics and Bones had advanced chemistry that was focused on how different chemicals and compositions affected other races. It was totally interesting, but not in her curriculum unfortunately. Totally not cool.

They got a few steps when there was a a sharp twitch from inside her. It didn't hurt exactly, but it did cause her to halt pretty damn fast. Bones slid out of her hold and she grasped her belly, hands sliding over the tented red fabric covering her taut skin. "What?" It happened again and Jim gasped in surprise. It was weird. 

Once he noticed she wasn't following him, the brunette stopped and turned, his eyes zeroing in on her hands. "Jim, is everything alright? Are you hurt?"

Once again, she was touched by his kindness. The corners of Jim's lips turned up and she finally figured out what those sharp movements inside meant. Her baby was kicking. She'd felt small flutters like a hummingbird's wings over the past few weeks, but this was very different and very purposeful. "Bones-" She breathed, "-I can feel the baby kicking!" 

It was amazing, and exciting, and so many emotions swirled inside of her that she couldn't tell one from another, but they were all wonderful. Jim stood still as if she could will the little being inside of her to keep doing what it was doing. It was...she didn't even know how to categorize it. 

McCoy softened like the big marshmallow that he was and he came closer to her. He didn't reach out to touch her, knowing that she had always shied away from uninvited touches. It was a defense mechanism from her youth, but it was far from her mind at this moment.

Right now, though, this was something she wanted to share with him. He was her best friend and he had done, and was doing, so much for her and her baby. She reached out and pulled his hands to her belly, placing them where she was still feeling the baby kick from the inside. 

He ran gentle, sure hands over her and huffed a laugh as the tiny person inside kicked at his touch. She knew it wouldn't be noticeable to many, but with McCoy being a doctor, he could tell easier than most just what he was feeling under her skin. "That's amazing, Jim. You've got a strong little one in there." 

He or she was only strong because of the efforts of Bones and M'Benga. She would forever be grateful to them for that. 

"Yeah. I do." Her eyes burned and McCoy's face blurred as tears threatened to fall. Stupid female hormones.

Sure hands ran slowly over the curve of her abdomen with wonder and Jim followed the path he took with her own hands.

The world seemed to melt away as they simply stood there and enjoyed the moment. 

Just as he started to pull away, Jim felt a jerk in her mind. It wasn't anything like she'd felt before. It was almost like she was being pulled away from Bones with some kind of rope and the moment of peace was broken. It wasn't malevolent, but it seemed possessive and overprotective. Her eyebrows came down and she rubbed at her temple.

"Jim?"

The world came back into focus and her senses heightened as she instinctively knew somebody had been watching her. People at the Academy tended to notice her because of her familial history, but this was different. She looked everywhere, but all she saw was the familiar press of cadets that weren't even paying attention to them and their moment. Jim turned her search to include the buildings nearby and her heart sped up as the world tilted on it's axis at who she found.

Spock. 

The man she'd spent the most amazing five days of her life with. The man she lov-no. The man she'd had fun with. She didn't know him-or at least she thought she didn't. It was so confusing. Every moment they'd been together it had been like they were one and had known each other for forever, but that couldn't be true. It had simply been a mating drive to help him live not anything more.

Spock was here and he was talking with Christopher Pike.

Jim certainly didn't do forever and never did repeats. He was supposed to be gone-far away in the black never to be seen again. "Oh, fuck!"

Bones' brow furrowed at the sudden change in his friend's attitude. "What?"

Grabbing the older man's upper arm, she dragged him behind the wall to hide. McCoy protested her manhandling of his person and shook her off the second they were hidden. "What the hell, Jim?"

"It's him!" Jim hissed. 

Bones tried to straighten his cadet jacket from the rough handling and glared at her with glare number four which meant he was too tired to strangle her at her weird behavior. Yes, she'd categorized and numbered them. "Who?"

"Him!" She repeated and he gave a heavy sigh of frustration.

"Can't exactly read minds, kid. You're gonna have to give me more than that."

Jim's hands went to her head, a strong determination that wasn't hers seeping through whatever the hell was stuck in her head, but her panic was stronger. God. Spock was here! 

What if he was angry with her for reminding him of his 'Time'. He'd been very clear that it was an embarrassing thing for him. What if he wanted to take the baby from her because she wasn't considered good enough and they weren't married which didn't make her family. She'd been warned about a vulcan's possessive nature and how family obsessed they were, but would that extend to a child with both human and Vulcan blood? 

What if he had some false sense of duty and stayed with her for the baby like they did back in Earth's antiquated past and it turned into resentment. What if he hated her and thought she was trying to trap him or despised her baby due to it's mixed blood. She knew many Vulcans tended to be speciest and she'd never heard of a mixed-blood vulcanoid baby. Her hands drifted protectively to her belly where that precious little being was housed safely within. 

Then an even more terrifying thought came to the forefront of her mind. What if he loved her? She'd felt something from him during their short time together that had seemed like love, but maybe it had been her desperation for a connection that had caused her to misinterpret it and just reflect back what she wanted back most in the world. How could he? 

If that was true Jim knew wouldn't be able handle it if he left once he realized who she was. Their time together had been born of instinct and desperation. It wasn't the stuff of fairytales. 

"It's-" Jim swallowed back her fears in an effort to make Bones understand. "-it's the guy I was with." 

McCoy raised a brow and waved his hand to encourage her to continue.

"He's-he's the father." She explained.

McCoy peeked around the corner to look at who Jim was talking about and it seemed like he recognized Spock. "Huh. I've had the distinct pleasure of meeting that pointy-eared bastard not too long ago." 

Jim reared back in surprise. "What? Where?"

He leaned back into their hiding place. "Medical complex."

"And you didn't think to tell me?" 

Shuffling past Bones, she carefully looked around the corner, careful to keep as hidden as possible. Pike and Spock seemed to be deep in discussion. Whatever it was, it was clearly very serious.

She took a minute to drink in the sight of him. The man seemed hewn from Phoenician marble; his pale, smooth skin, a stark contrast to the instructor blacks he wore that added an aura of mysteriousness to him that only made him seem all the more unattainable. What would a beautiful specimen like him want with a short, dirty-blonde haired, and plain-looking woman like her? She wasn't anything special. All she had that might cause the Vulcan to give her a second glance at this moment was the very obvious physical reminder of their short time together.

"Why would I mention him? It's not like I'm psychic and knew he was your baby daddy. There is also this magical concept known as doctor-patient confidentiality even if he's not my patient." 

While his explanation was understandable, it still frustrated her. She hated being in the dark, but Bones honestly hadn't known. Groaning, Jim was so confused and scared.

"Huh. So that's really him. Never thought you'd have gone for a guy like him." 

Jim wanted to rip her hair out. What was she going to do? "It wasn't like that. It was-" She stopped herself realizing she'd almost let out Spock's secret. 

Bones tilted his head, likely curious about her aborted sentence. "Did you bond with him? I've never heard of one mating outside of marriage nor have I ever seen a human-Vulcan pairing." He scratched the side of his head looking thoughtful. "Not sure anyone anyone has so we wouldn't know what to look for properly. Humans and Vulcans aren't typically built for each other. It was a damn near miracle that you were able to conceive naturally and on the first go."

Jim blinked at the weird question. "What are you talking about? It's not like we sat around and braided each other's hair bonding over ice cream. I only knew the guy for a few days. You know that."

"You're still gonna have to talk with him at some point." He pointed out. Bones leaned down to get to her eye level because genetics were a bitch and she was short. "You can't hide forever considering you're on the same campus."

"I can certainly try." She muttered under her breath. Her legs wobbled and she fell back against the brick of the wall, groaning at the complication of Spock being there. What was she going to do? If he rejected her and the baby then it'd hurt. If he accepted them then it had potential to hurt far worse worse when it inevitably went wrong. She wasn't meant to be loved. She never had been. She didn't know how to be. "I'm fucked aren't I?"

Hazel eyes looked at her belly and then up at her face. "I think that bun in the oven implies that particular act happened a few months ago."

"Asshole." She said without any heat. Rubbing her face, she felt so tired at the thought of everything possibly crashing down around her. "Do you think he saw us?"

He stuck his head out and it was damn obvious what he was doing. "Probably."

"Stop it!" She hissed. "He'll see you!"

Pulling back, he was very serious; too serious for her liking. "It's not like he's never gonna see you. You're gonna be here for the next three years. He's also a teacher who has access to a lot of student info and he's with your buddy Pike."

"Shit! Shit! Shit!" She hadn't thought about that more than in just passing.

He clapped a hand on her shoulder in sympathy. "You have to tell him. He needs to know. I'd want to know if it was me and I had a sprog on the way no matter how it came to be."

"Bones-" 

"He's gonna figure it out. Pike's gonna mention you at one point considering he's the commandant of cadets. They're teachers. They tend to talk about students." He interrupted. 

Grimacing, she clutched her arms around her shoulders as if she was hugging herself. "He wouldn't know that I was the one who he spent that time with him."

Now he looked confused which was a weird look on him. "What are you talking about?"

"I didn't give him my real name."

His silence cause her defenses to fly up. Just because she had taken the stance of not being a prude didn't mean she was worth less as a person. 

"Like you've never done that with someone you're just spending a night with." She snapped.

"I haven't." Bones told her with all seriousness.

"Well, aren't you Mr. Wholesome." She sneered.

"I'm not judging you, damn it! Many people do that sort of thing and it's not a big deal. As long as the person isn't an idiot and is safe and it is consensual then I don't care. It's not my business what people do behind closed doors." 

Jim still glowered at him. He lowered his head and closed his eyes to take a calming breath, his bangs brushing over his forehead. Jim knew he wasn't judging her. Not really. He never had, but her irritation was a knee-jerk reaction. When he came up, she knew she was gonna hate what he was going to tell her and she did. "That's beside the point, Jim. He's a Vulcan! They tend to be pretty smart at figuring out puzzles. Pike's gonna mention you then Spock's gonna look you up, then he's gonna recognize your ass."

Her giggle was a little hysterical. "Hopefully that's not what he recognizes. I'd be worried if that was the picture in my student file."

Her pathetic attempt at trying to deflect McCoy with humor didn't even phase him. He simply stared back at her.

Jim shrunk inwards, the rough brick scratching her back and was unable to look her best friend in the eye. He was the one person that always was honest and didn't let her shy away from the truth. She picked at a loose thread on the cuff of her sleeve to delay what she was going to ask, but when Bones shifted impatiently, she couldn't hold off any longer. "What if it ends badly?"

He wouldn't let her hide from him and pulled her close. Fucking damn it. She hated this vulnerable crap. Fighting she could do. Diffusing with humor? Easy. Ignoring stuff and hoping it'd go away was a skill she'd honed over the years, but she knew it probably wasn't going to work this time. "You won't have any answers if you keep away." He gave her a small squeeze. "Besides, I won't let anything happen to you. I'll kick his ass if he so much as hurts a hair on your head."

Jim huffed a small laugh. "You do know Vulcans are three times stronger than humans."

"Then I'll just have to hypo his ass with something particularly unpleasant, won't I." 

Jim snorted and patted his hand in gratitude. 

"Hope the kid doesn't get his nose or that stick up his ass."

Twisting in his grip, she glared up at him. "Hey! His nose is just fine. It's cute!" 

McCoy's expression was far too knowing. "But what about that stick up his prissy ass?" 

Jim's choked laugh did little to lighten the mood further. Jim wasn't sure how she was going to avoid this latest complication.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edited chapter 12.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!   
> I'm hoping that everyone will forgive my slow updating and also forgive the changes I did in this chapter. I got a review from one reader that gave me an outsider's perspective that I respect and wanted to adjust it.   
> A big thank you to Skitenoir for her support and advice. Also, she was the one who gave me the phrase McCoy used in a review of hers that made me giggle "You're about as relaxed as a feral cat in a shower stall". Lol!  
> I also want to recommend a well-written slow burn romance story Kirk/Spock. I've been reading it and it's not getting the attention it deserves so I hope you all will give it a shot. It's called "The Truth Between" by LeandraLocke. I'm looking forward to seeing where she will take things.   
> Hopefully, this version is better and thank you to everyone who reviews and gives me a chance. As always, I appreciate everything!   
> DarkWaters

Chapter 12 

McCoy rolled his eyes as he watched Jim dart around the corner of Archer Hall, her blue eyes alert and wary. This had been going on for a week and he was starting to seriously worry for his own sanity. As it was, her PADD had been beeping with far more frequency lately and each time she'd resolutely deleted each message with a look that suggested her morning sickness had returned. He wasn't an idiot. He knew just who was messaging her.

They finally made it back to their shared quarters and he could see the tension drain from her slight shoulders. While he hated seeing her like this, he also knew there was only one way to resolve it one way or another.

"You can't keep ignoring him forever. He found out you were here and it looks like he ain't gonna give up." He told her as he kicked off his boots.

Jim froze in the act of removing her coat, but didn't turn to face him. "Ignoring who?" She asked, her voice a higher pitch than normal.

It was times like this that he wondered if he was rooming with a five year old with the level of denial that she exuded. "You damn well know who!"

"I don't know who you're talking about." Jim said loftily and he scowled.

He decided to take a leaf out of Jim's book and ignore her idiotic statement. "Spock, dammit! I told you he'd figure it out. You can't hide forever."

"Shows what you know." Jim grumbled, irritated and she shucked off her shoes with enough force that they bounced against the wall.

"If he can find your comm then he easily can find the family dorm you're in."

Jim didn't reply, instead storming off, her blonde hair bouncing behind her as she disappeared into her room and McCoy sighed at the childish behavior. 

He gave her an hour to sulk and set to work preparing a joint dinner of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and collard greens. He figured it wouldn't hurt to give her some good old-fashioned comfort food to help relax her before he tried again to make her see common sense. He drew the line at cooking dessert and replicated a small portion of peach cobbler. 

He couldn't help the smile when she poked her head out at the smell of the food. In the past month and a bit he'd learned that Jim never missed a meal especially one that was homemade when she could help it. Lately, though, she'd been eating less and had started to just shove her food around the plate. This dish had become one of her favorites and, no matter how stressed she was, she'd never turn it down especially since it was a rare treat.

He'd barely plated up the chicken when she swooped it out of his hands. "Aw, Bones! You cooked! I would have done that."

He placed the rest of the food on the table and she loaded her plate. She'd changed into her academy sweats and the t-shirt with the SFA logo was stretched across her expanding abdomen. He wondered how much longer it was going to fit. She'd been eyeing his own academy shirt and he resolved to hide it as soon as humanly possible.

"I've seen your cooking. A plate of klingon gagh is more appetizing." 

Jim smiled around a mouth of mashed potatoes. "I'm not that bad and you should widen your horizons of cultural delicacies." 

"Let me put it this way then. If you offered your version of dinner to the Donner party they still would have eaten each other."

"It's not that bad. I'm still here aren't I?" 

"Don't talk with your mouth full. I'm not in the mood to try and perform the Heimlich on a pregnant woman." He pointed a fork at her, scolding and she swallowed her mouthful of chicken dutifully, making a show of it that she was fine. Infant.

The older man decided to wait until she was lulled into a false sense of security and had finished the main course before getting to the discussion that she'd been skipping around. 

She'd just pulled her plate of cobbler towards herself when he cleared his throat. Jim's body tensed, instinctively knowing what this talk was going to be about. "I know what you're gonna say. Don't, Bones. Just. Don't."

"Look, this is causing you a lot of stress and it needs-"

"I'm not stressed. I'm perfectly calm."

"You're about as relaxed as a feral cat in a closed shower stall."

Jim refused to look at him and the stubborn jut of her jaw indicated she wasn't even listening. Slamming his hands on the table, the plates rattled. "Dammit, Jim. He's not going away. He's actually trying to respect your boundaries by simply messaging rather than barging in and showing up at our doorstep."

She finally faced him and opened her mouth to argue.

"Don't think I don't know what you're gonna say. I know that it's him so don't deny it. In the short time I've known you I've never seen you hide from something. Hell, most of the students are terrified of Professor Therall and you argue with him almost every class!"

"That's different. Tellerites love to argue and insults. It's a cultural thing and a sign of respect." 

He gave her a knowing look. "That's beside the point. What I mean is that normally you jump right in with both feet and damn the consequences. It's not like you to be like this."

Jim blew out a frustrated breath, running her fingers through her messy blonde hair. It almost gave him the impression of a ruffled bird. "Look, Bones, this just wasn't in my plans, ok? He was supposed to be gone."

Reaching out, he took her hand and squeezed. "I know, but even the best laid plans can fall apart and change. Maybe it'll be a good thing. I also have a feeling there's more to what you feel for him than just the awkwardness of him being a one-night stand."

"Kid, look, not only did he find you, but do you honestly think he's also not gonna figure out that that round belly of yours isn't some sort of spare tire? It doesn't take a genius to do the math and we both know he's pretty damn smart for a green-blooded hobgoblin." 

Pulling her hand back, Jim almost face-planted into her dessert when she put her head down on the table and groaned in frustration. All he could see was her messy hair which had, in fact inconveniently, landed in her cobbler. "I'm not ready for this."

"No-one ever is." He reminded her. 

"I don't know how to do this." 

He had to strain to make out the muffled words. Standing, he walked over to her side of the table and knelt down, waiting to get her attention. When she finally turned her head, still on the damn table, he placed a hand on her knee. "He seems as stubborn as you so I'm not sure you're gonna win this one, kid." 

Reaching back, he grabbed her PADD from the back of the couch and handed it to her. "Talk to him. At minimum he has a right to know about his kid." 

She sat up and reluctantly took it from him, opening her documents. Pastry bits and syrup dripped unnoticed from the right side of her head. "You're right, Bo-" Her face suddenly paled and he had a moment of concern when the door suddenly chimed. 

They both slowly turned at the noise, McCoy knowing and Jim horrified. 

"Well, looks like that time is just right about now." He drawled.

Clearly she had other intentions because she darted off so fast that a trail of crumbs still soared through the air. 

"Dammit, Jim." He muttered.

Growling in frustration, he pulled himself up and made his way to the front door with a glare aimed at Jim's door. 

The door opened to a very serious Vulcan in instructor blacks who was barely able to conceal his surprise at just who he was seeing. While the doctor believed that Spock should know everything that didn't mean he trusted or liked him. Crossing his arms, he leaned casually against the door, silently cursing Jim for putting him in the middle.

"Well, isn't this a surprise. It's mighty nice to see you again." He drawled.

Spock's brows came down in a small frown. "Your tone indicates sarcasm."

He refrained from rolling his eyes. Barely. "What can I do ya for?"

Spock tilted his head in confusion and this time he did roll his eyes and take pity on him. "Can I help you, commander?" McCoy asked.

"I am here to speak with Jamison Kirk." 

"And you are?" He arched a brow. He damn well knew who he was, but, sometimes, it was entertaining to mess with him.

"Commander S'Chn T'Gai Spock."

McCoy had a split second to make a decision. On the one hand, it'd get the meeting over and done with plus she had the home-field advantage. On the other hand, she had food dripping from her hair and had only just agreed to talk with the walking computer at their door so she was clearly nervous and needed time to prepare. 

It wasn't an easy one, but he'd give her this out. One time. Next time the kid wouldn't be so lucky. "I'm sorry, but she's not in right now." 

Spock's eyes narrowed as they drifted to the table where the remains of their meal was and it was pretty damn obvious that there were two settings. "I...see." He returned his focus to McCoy. "Then I request you pass her a message."

"What's the message?"

The commander shot a hopeful glance at where Jim was hiding and seemed almost...sad. "Please inform her I was here and I need to speak with her regarding an important matter."

"And just what might that be?" 

The expression that crossed Spock's face almost made him step back. "It is a private matter and none of your concern, doctor. I request you cease your prying." He bit out. 

McCoy wasn't about to poke a bear with a sharp stick. "Alright alright. I'll let her know."

Spock jerked his head in thanks, spun on his heel without so much as a by-your-leave, and left before he could say anything else. "Charming." He grumbled.

"Well?" 

McCoy jumped and spun to a far-too-close roommate hovering. "Dammit, Jim! Don't do that."

"You really need a bigger vocabulary, Bones." Jim moved closer and he had to step around her to catch his breath. "Well?" She repeated.

"I'm not the one sounding like a parrot, kid. There's a pretty darned easy way to find out what he wanted. You could, I don't know, ask him?"

Jim's mouth twisted into a moue of displeasure at being denied. "Stop being an ass." 

McCoy paused, looking thoughtful. "Unless...."

Crossing her arms, Jim went on the defensive. "Unless what?" 

"Unless you're scared?" He asks grinning at her obvious frustrated discomfort. Facts came easy to her. Emotions and understanding them were hard. Those two were far better matched than she realized.

"I'm not scared. I just know it can go bad. It's different." She denied, face red hot in embarrassment.

"But I thought you were? It's nothing to be ashamed of."

"Shut up."

Making his way to the couch, he plopped down, knowing it would drive her nuts. He hadn't gotten his secondary degree in psych for nothing. "I would say no you shut up but I refuse to argue like a ten year old."

"Bones!"

Sighing, he decided to indulge her. "Your gentleman caller-"

"Who the hell even says that anymore?"

"-said that he needed to talk to you."

"That's it?" Jim blinked in surprise. Curiosity killed the cat.

"That's it."

"That's all he said?" 

Dammit. "Oh, my god! Man up or woman up or whatever the politically correct way of saying it is and go see him. He's not gonna eat you." 

"Well, how would you know? There's lots of things we don't know about Vulcans. There's lots of things we don't know about lots of species. For example, did you know that-" 

"Jim!" Exasperated, McCoy pinched the bridge of nose, suddenly very tired. "Stop deflecting." Sometimes, he wondered what he'd done in a previous life to deserve this.

Jim sighed in resignation, knowing that she needed to do this. If not for her then for her child that deserved to know it's father. "Fine. I'll go tomorrow."

xXx

It was weird. Since she'd seen Spock with Pike, Jim had had the strange sensation of something in her mind and it was growing stronger. It was instinctual and she wondered if she was going crazy. It was like there was some strange presence prowling the edges of her consciousness, something desperately searching. It didn't seem dangerous per se, but it seemed more...excited than anything. She wasn't really sure what to make of it.

No one would want someone like her like that much less someone like him; a respected research scientist, teacher, and commander in the fleet. His research was a little behind the times though. 

Some of his published articles were a little stiff for her tastes and lacked creativity. Thomas Leighton and her had already done what he'd done, surpassing his product, and their final product of quadrotriticale grain was due to be made public in a month. It was resistant to multiple common fungal strains as well as some bacterial. It was also far more advanced than Spock's research.

Then, the messages and requests for a meeting had started. She didn't quite know what to make of it. He'd found her and he wanted to see her. Her attempts at pretending nothing had happened had ended in disaster. 

Jim had never run away from something nor had she ever had someone interested in her so it was something new and altogether terrifying. She'd joined Starfleet for a future, to be independent, and the possibility of bring tied to another person that could just ruin everything and break her was just too much. 

Nearing the building that housed the administrative offices, Jim peeked around the corner and her breath caught at the sight. Spock almost seemed to be searching for something. He wasn't in his office which was weird. He turned towards her hiding place and Jim almost panicked. There wasn't anywhere left to properly conceal her within walking distance. 

Closing her eyes, she tried psyching herself up. "Okay, Jim. You can do this. It's just a talk with another person." 

The blonde didn't have a chance to get to Spock because as he started to walk forward, a mocha skinned, immaculately made up Uhura stepped forward and stopped him.

Tilting her head, Jim watched them, curious as to what she was up to. She immediately wished she hadn't. Spock straightened his stance and the two of them began to talk, but Uhura's posture was far more relaxed than his. One of her hands fondled the end of her ponytail and twirled it around her fingers. "Seriously?" 

The smile on her face was more seductive than friendly and definitely not one you would give an instructor or superior officer. Even from this far away she was able to hear the bright laughter of the cadet.

When she tilted her body closer into his personal space and rested her hand on his arm, an ugly feeling of possessive jealousy threatened to undo her and Jim had to suck in a calming breath to not run forward and rip the other woman's hand off of him.

Jim shook the thought away as fast as it came to her. She had no right to feel that way. Spock wasn't hers, he could be with anyone he wanted. Why would he choose her over Uhura? She was elegant, graceful, and intelligent and Jim was...just Jim, a nobody from nowhereville, Iowa only known because of her dad's name. The thought of the two of them together made her feel sick to her stomach, but Jim wasn't about to jump in. She had no right to. 

Jim hated to admit it, but as she watched them, she could easily see them as a couple. The contrast between Spock's pale skin and Uhura's beautiful brown made an attractive picture. Plus there was the elegant grace she held herself with that Jim could never hope to match. She'd always been appreciative of beauty in all forms, not discriminating whether male, female, or alien. Uhura had a lithe dancer body that matched Spock's slim, but toned, figure. 

Then there was the fact that Spock was a genius and so was Uhura. Spock was a language professor while the other woman was a skilled linguist. They had so much in common. They were a perfect match and she hated it. 

Jim was short, currently round, and definitely never graceful. She looked down at herself at her expanding waistline and sighed. Compared to Uhura, she wasn't really anything special. Jim wasn't too sure if she could be friends with her. If she was then it'd certainly be awkward with the fact that she was carrying her new boyfriend's child and there was no way that they wouldn't hook up. 

She eventually left with an uncomfortable feeling of inadequacy and a note sent off to Spock apologizing for not showing up with the excuse of not feeling well. It wasn't a total lie.

xXx

Spock was rarely uncertain and never utterly perplexed. Once he had dismissed Cadet Uhura, he had gone to his office in eager anticipation to await his t'hy'la only for her to not show up with the excuse of not feeling well.

Then failure of her not returning his comms had started to cause him pause. Had he not had a direct line to her mind he would have believed she cared nothing for him, but he knew better. He had sensed the way she felt for him. It was most definitely what he felt for her. He just needed to get her to acknowledge it. Her behavior was...illogical. 

There were so many things they needed to discuss. He needed to speak to her of their bond and marriage in the ways of his people. Then there was the indisputable fact that she was pregnant with his progeny. Thinking back to the sight of her growing round with his child, he felt pride. It was illogical to do so as it was nothing more than a simple biological fact, but he had never believed it to be possible. She glowed as bright as the bond between them, beautiful in a way that Spock had never seen. He desperately wanted to be a part of it and her life. 

When Jim had finally responded and agreed to speak with him, he had felt hope bloom in his chest. He had eagerly anticipated seeing her, but she hadn't showed. When he had read the reason for her not appearing it had concerned him greatly. She had explained she was ill and it had brought back memories of when his own mother had told him of her own difficulties when she had carried him. She had told him, not to guilt him, but to tell him how much she loved him to go through the trials of a hybrid-pregnancy to bring him into the world. Perhaps Dr. McCoy was unable to properly care for Jim. He did seem unable to even complete the simple task of passing on a message to her.

He needed guidance and Spock could only think of one person to provide it. There was another human that had successfully navigated the struggles of a relationship with a Vulcan. 

*"Sweetheart! Two communications in one week? I do believe you are spoiling me."*

Spock drank in the sight of his mother, the one person who had loved him and supported his decisions without question. While he knew his father loved him in his own way, the pressures he had placed on him had always left him with a feeling of 'not measuring up' to his expectations. 

It was late evening on Vulcan compared to midday on Earth. His mother had removed her traditional headscarf and Vulcan-style dress for the more human set of clothing she typically wore when in the privacy of their home; yellow sundress with a pattern of blue Terran flowers which was one she favored. Spock remembered many days when he was a young child touching the soft cotton, fascinated with the flora it showed and Amanda had gifted him with a small flowerpot of blue periwinkles, identical to the ones on her sundress. 

"Mother, I require your guidance in a personal matter."

The sharp, intelligent eyes, so much like his own, looked him over. There was nobody who knew him better than Amanda Grayson. *"Is everything alright?"*

She was a skilled linguist and had provided counsel for his father during his work as an Ambassador for many years, assisting him with emotional species when he did not understand due to his upbringing. "Negative."

*"What's wrong?"* 

Frowning, he struggled to be able to adequately express and communicate his difficulties. There was a saying in his culture. 'Within the family, all is silent.' Speaking of such things as private relationships, even to family, was taboo. It was especially unspoken of when it involved the bonding during Pon Farr. It was something that Spock did not feel comfortable talking about even to his mother who had been his lifelong confidante. 

He was aware that his bond with Jamison would become public knowledge soon enough, but he did not feel 'ready' to disclose that information as of yet until he had secured her affections. Their relationship would definitely be deduced once their child was born so Spock was on a limited timeframe which was becoming shorter with each passing day. "It is in regards to the woman I spoke of. Jamison."

*"Oh?"* 

Spock was unused to being able to complete a task he had set his mind to. "I have been attempting to gain the attentions of Jamison, but she has been avoiding me despite her returning my regard."

Amanda contemplated her son's dilemma, the same frown Spock had shown mirrored on her own face. *"What have you tried?"*

"I have messaged her numerous times requesting her presence."

*"Anything else?"*

"No."

Tapping a finger thoughtfully on her chin, her gaze focused on something he could not see. *"I think she's nervous and that is why she's avoiding you."*

It was something he knew, but did not understand why. If she felt the same then why would she simply not come to him as he has tried to do with her. 

*"I know, sweetie."* She chuckled. *"As your father would say 'humans are a confusing species and rather illogical'."*

He agreed. "How would you suggest I proceed?"

She gave him a small smile of empathy. *"I think you are doing ok, but she seems to need a little more of a push. Maybe something more obvious to get her attention?"*

There was one thing he could think of that would do such a thing. "Thank you, ko-mekh." 

Amanda placed a delicate hand to the screen as if she could touch him to comfort her son in his time of need and Spock returned the gesture. 

*"I love you and good luck. I hope to meet the woman soon that clearly gained your affections."*

"I love you as well and rest well."

The screen turned to black, the silver Starfleet emblem spinning signaling the end of the call. There was one option he could think of to ensure Jim would come to him. Pulling up the necessary file, the commander filled in the blanks and sent it off. Now all he had to do was wait.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! Well, I've got the big meeting finally between Spock and Jim, but I'm not sure if I got it right. Let me know what you think and if I should change it. I want to thank Skitenoir again for her advice. As I always say, constructive criticism helps me make this story better!  
> I've also got a fix recommendation. If you haven't seen it or read it then I highly suggest it! It's amazing, engaging, and I couldn't put my tablet down when I discovered it. It's called "K'diwa: A Steamy Novel of Interspecies Romance, by Jim Kirk" by the author Branwyn. It's a great story!   
> Thank you to everyone who is kind enough to give reviews and kudos. It is so amazing.   
> I hope this chapter lives up to expectations.   
> DarkWaters

Chapter Thirteen

"And then you push the muzzle section in at a ninety degree angle pointing downwards, jerk it up hard until you feel a click."

Jim waited patiently for four clicks, Bones taking longer to get the piece aligned. They'd stayed behind, lucky that they had a free period after defense class. It was one of the few lessons that had a mixed student body. 

"And then shove in the power cell." She continued and showed them the method of how to insert the glowing, charged cell and followed it up with the cover. 

"Now, you-"

"Why the hell do I have to do this?" Bones complained. "Christine and I are medical. I'm a doctor, not a soldier." His cell got stuck and Jim took his rifle from him to disconnect it to prevent it from jamming. 

Pointing at M'Ress, he scowled. "Plus she's communications," The brunette dragged his finger to Gaila. "-and she's computer programming and engineering! We've all got nothing to do with this." He nodded to her and Sulu. "I can almost understand you two. You're command and not security, but you do handle the front lines."

Jim quickly and efficiently popped in the cell, closed the case, and cocked the rifle. The whine of it powering up and echoing in the empty classroom as she set it to stun made him pause, looking nervous at her dark expression she fixed on him. "Because-" She snapped. "-it's a basic skill that everyone needs to know whether they're in Starfleet or not." Jim's eyes hardened and she felt frustrated at her friend's naive view of the universe. "Do you honestly think that a hostile would see you and think 'oh, he's only medical. Let's leave him alone' and follow the rules of war and not shoot or kill you?" She continued her lecture. "You're the enemy no matter your designation. Not only that, but there are dangerous animals and other non-sentient species that can hurt you and those under your care." 

He wouldn't be swayed. The rest of the group looked uncomfortable at the level of Jim's hostility. "Jim, Starfleet's not a war machine. We're a peacekeeping armada and our mission is exploration and helping people."

Closing her eyes, she mentally counted to ten to calm herself. She needed to put her statement into words he would understand. "Bones, sometimes that means protecting those more vulnerable than ourselves from someone that wishes them harm. Also, we have to keep ourselves safe and, sometimes, that means using weapons. We are there to keep the peace, like you said, and we may have no choice. It's a last resort and always will be."

Bones' jaw clenched, but he kept silent. Jim hated that they had to learn something like this, but it was a necessary evil. Powering down the rifle and pulling the pieces apart, she lay them out on the table in the necessary order to assemble it once more. They were supposed to be able to do it in twenty seconds.

Sulu frowned at the rapid speed at which she did it. "How is it you know how to do this? You didn't even need to listen to Lieutenant Schumer."

Jim hesitated, uncomfortable with how to answer. "I-uh-My step-dad taught me. We used to play snap-shot which had identical weapons, but they were fake and just gave you a small shock when you got hit. It was like extreme laser-tag. He was also a bit of a nutcase in regards to weapons and a firm believer in being prepared so he also taught me with real weapons." She didn't like to think of him, but he honestly had taught her a skill that had saved her ass on Tarsus. It was one of the only things she was thankful for from that bastard who had made her childhood hell. 

McCoy looked at her carefully and she didn't like him seeing a hint of how it affected her to even say something of her past and that there was more to her story than what she was telling.

"So, now you-" 

Jim's PADD interrupted her and she moved away from the group to check it. She was expecting the schedule for next term to be able to register early for classes. 

"-the hell?" Jim squinted to make sure what she was reading was really there and not some weird hallucination. It wasn't. "Ah, hell's no!"

Sulu, Gaila, and M'Ress stopped what they were doing and were watching her with curiosity and she felt the air shift next to her as Bones leaned over her shoulder to see what was causing such a strong reaction. Her horror quickly turned to anger at what Spock did.

Her friend slowly lifted his head and they both looked at each other. "Is he joking?" He put up a hand quickly. "No. Don't answer that. Vulcans don't have a sense of humor." 

"Well, it's definitely not funny." It actually hurt. Jim's mind morbidly returned to the image of Uhura so close to Spock. Why on Earth would he be interested in her when he could be with Uhura? 

"Looks like he wanted to grab your attention."

"No shit, Sherlock. He's got it now." She hissed like an angry cat. 

Sulu tilted his head and frowned. "Whoever sent you what you're looking at probably shouldn't have while you've got a phaser rifle in your hands."

"He's lucky it's just a mock-up phaser and not a real one." Jim growled. Just what was Spock thinking? She definitely had to see him to get this fixed.

Bones' voice lowered enough that the others couldn't hear and took her PADD from her, his eyes scanning the official document she'd received. 

"Did you bond with him?" He whispered.

"What are you even talking about? I only knew him for five days-tops! I've had longer relationships with a cup of coffee!" She protested his accusation. 

Handing back the document to Jim, he kept close to her. Sulu Chapel, and M'Ress had moved away to give them privacy, clearly understanding that this wasn't a discussion that they were supposed to hear, but Gaila stayed behind watching with clear interest. 

"Well, you'd better get this figured out then because it's an official marriage registration that's gone to everyone from Federation records to Pike as commandant of cadets to the quartermaster who assigns where officers live. Starfleet always assigns married couples together."

"I know!" Jim sounded pained and didn't know what to do. She just knew that it couldn't be right. It was confusing and Jim had a sinking suspicion that it was simply because of the baby. There was no way he didn't know about it.

Biting the inside of his cheek, he frowned and the blonde could see he was thinking hard about something. "You know that might explain something M'Benga and I-"

"We're not-" She interrupted and blew out a frustrated breath. "I've gotta go." Jim stood and left, grabbing her bag and stuffing everything inside in a rush. She barely got outside the door when a waft of excited Orion pheromones hit her from behind and caused her grip on the strap to tighten.

"Was that a message from your Vulcan mate?" 

She stopped sudden enough that Gaila bumped into her back and spun around in surprise. "What?"

"Your Vulcan mate?" 

Jim scoffed and started walking again with her friend determinedly staying at her side. "What are you talking about? I don't have a Vulcan mate."

"Yes, you do."

She wasn't about to keep arguing. This was getting old. "How do you even know it's a Vulcan?" 

Rolling her eyes, Gaila had to speed up to match Jim's increasing strides. "I can smell you are carrying a Vulcan child."

Jim wrinkled her nose. Sometimes, Jim forgot the differences in xenobiology in regards to her friends. "That's so weird."

She shrugged. "Not really. So, is it?" She asked eagerly. "I've never come across one before and it's different, but it definitely has the telltale scent of being, at least partially, Vulcan."

"He's not my mate." 

Raising a brow (and how the hell is everyone able to do that, but her?), Gaila looked at Jim with an, almost, parental look as if she was trying to explain the ways of the world to a child. "Good luck telling Commander Spock that."

Jim froze, horrified and grabbed her arm to pull her aside. She let her with minimal fuss. "How do you know it's Spock's?"

"It's obvious. At least to me."

Sputtering, she was mortified. How many other people knew? 

"You carry a Vulcan child-" She explained patiently. "-and he's the only Vulcan near enough to make you react like an Orion Tarleigh."

"I'm not even gonna try to figure that out."

"It means you hide when he is near."

Looking away, Jim ran her hand through her hair while Gaila watched her. "Am I that obvious?"

"Only to me as I can scent the offspring and to the doctor who resides with you." 

At least that was something, but something was niggling in the back of her mind. "What-uh-what makes you say mate?"

"Because you have bred and linked with him-"

"That makes me sound like a-"

"And Vulcans are notorious for their monogamy. They do not do casual. Believe me, our people have learned this when we encountered them many years ago. They mate for life and are devoted to one they have bonded with. Since he has also created a child with you, it is even more obvious that he has chosen you as a mate." 

"Well, humans are different. Just because we spend a night or several together, it doesn't mean forever and I'm sure he feels the same." And, God, did those words hurt. 

Gaila rolled her eyes. "I know that, but I speak of Vulcans and not humans."

"He wouldn't want me. I'm-" Broken? "-not exactly someone would want to be with in that way." Jim squirmed in discomfort at discussing this with someone else. She certainly didn't want to trap someone and force them to live with her simply because of their cultural beliefs just as she would not wish to have the same done to her. "He probably just wants to talk about the baby."

Cocking her hip, her friend shook her head in the negative. "You are very naive for a human. Was that what the message said?"

"Well, no." She hesitated. "He-uh-says we're married." 

"Then it must be true. A Vulcan never lies." She looked as if the discussion was settled and started to move away, but Jim wasn't done. 

"I saw him with Uhura." She said in a small voice.

Groaning in frustration at Jim's lack of understanding Gaila moved closer. "If he says you are his mate then you are his mate. He would not seek a relationship with another."

Jim looked away for a minute, her heart squeezing in her chest at the idea of it. "Could you-er-not say anything to anyone? Especially Uhura?"

"You are a strange human, but I will do this for you." Biting her lip, the young Orion looked uncomfortable at the idea. "Jim, it will not be long before he stakes a claim on you and it will be obvious. He will be determined and he will not give up. Add in offspring and it will be doubled. A Vulcan does not mate with someone incompatible and, most definitely, not someone they do not care for or feel love for. Their mate always feels the same otherwise it would not be successful."

Jim shook her head, stepping around Gaila. He'd said it was a mating drive and they hadn't known each other. I've got to go." 

xXx

It didn't take long to get across the campus to where staff had offices. Most of the cadets who saw her coming wisely knew to step out of her way. She'd only had to stop once to look at the directory to see where Spock's was located and quickly made her way up to the fourth floor. 

From inside his office, Spock could feel their bond giving off sparks of anger and confusion. It was, sadly, what he expected. Jim had been ignoring his every attempt at communication and time was beginning to become a factor in his motivation to speak with her. As their child grew so did their bond; becoming stronger, but strained at the same time with each passing day. While he still felt Jim's emotions frequently and knew she received his, there was an underlying strain to it that made him struggle with his mental clarity. 

Dismissing the second-year cadet from his office, Spock returned to the official file from the Starfleet Academy database. Each subsequent line of the document made him more fascinated with his skittish mate and fall a bit more in love with her. She shared his love of science, but only to a degree. Her strength was admirable in her independence and the skills she exhibited in all of her classes, in particular tactics. It was unusual for someone who had been living in a farming community their whole lives, but it showed adaptive skills and an ability to learn quickly in multiple environments and stressful conditions.

She was currently limited in the more physical aspects of her Starfleet training due to her pregnancy, only doing the theory, but that would change once she was able to do the practical after passing her physical. 

Currently, she was...fragile. He had seen the video evidence from her attack the night before she enrolled and it had caused a red haze of fury to cover his eyes. He had not been there to protect her or fight by her side and, because of that, he felt extreme guilt. Spock was battling his Vulcan instincts to keep her close and safe. It was a fight he was beginning to lose. 

Jim was, in place of those classes, making up the difference by being placed in second and some third year classes. She would return to first year physically demanding lessons as time went on. 

Frowning, Spock was puzzled by the missing data between the ages of twelve to fourteen Terran years. The high level classification required to access the files was beyond his authorization and was coded beyond his current capabilities. In addition, there were more locked juvenile files that Spock did not wish to access without Jim's permission. Some things were private and he wished to respect her privacy in that regard. Perhaps, as time went on, she would be willing to share more of her past with him. 

"What the hell is this?" 

Spock jumped at the sudden intrusion into his office, unused to not detecting another being so close without his knowledge. He straightened from his position crouched at his computer terminal and, in front of him, his t'hy'la stood in all her glory. She radiated anger, embarrassment, hurt, and frustration; a plethora of emotions that he was unfamiliar with. However, if he was to dig deeper, he was able to sense love, hope, respect, and several other positive ones. It was a confusing dichotomy.

Raising a brow, Spock looked into her bright, blue eyes that swirled with every thought and feeling she was experiencing. "To what do you refer?"

"This!" The PADD was slammed down onto his desk and he looked down to see the paperwork he had submitted in plain view. 

"It would appear to be our marriage certificate."

"Oh, no. I am NOT your wife nor am I going to move in with you because of some antiquated regulation. I will not be forced, commander."

She would truly believe he would force her to live with him? Encourage, ask, and appeal, but never force. "I would never do that. My intention was to gain your attention."

The blonde threw up her hands in frustration and a sliver of the stretched skin of her pregnant belly was revealed, drawing Spock's attention to it. "Well, you've definitely accomplished your goal."

"I would have spoken with you about this matter, but you have been unwilling to meet with me and ignored my various requests for your presence." At Jim's scoff, he frowned at the response. "The marriage, however, is real. We are bonded."

"That's not-" Jim crossed her arms, confusion streaming into his mind. "Bonded? I've heard that term a lot lately. What does that mean?"

He indicated one of the chairs in front of him and she reluctantly sat. He joined her on her side once she settled after a few shifts to get comfortable. How he wished he could do more to alleviate her discomfort if she would only allow him. After all, it was due to him that she was in this situation. He did not regret it though. 

Steepling his fingers, he struggled with just how to explain their unique situation. It was something he had never heard of on his planet for two beings to come together as they had and to have such a harmonious match. "It means that when we joined during my Time that we forged a telepathic connection; that our minds are joined in the most intimate of ways and, in the ways and laws of my people and the Federation, we are bonded." Jim was confused and he could feel it from where he stood. "We have a bond between us. I have a part of you inside of me-" He touched his temple. "-and me inside of you. You are t'hy'la to me, Jim."

Tilting her head, her confusion only grew. "Spock, that's not possible. Humans are psi-null. We aren't telepathic. What you're saying isn't possible."

It was...challenging for him to describe what he meant. His only frame of reference was how his mother had once described her bond with his father. "Humans may be psi-null however, when they are bonded with a Vulcan, they do not become telepathic, but they have the ability to access emotions and some sensations from their bondmates. We can do the same in reverse. Jim, we are bonded which is considered married under Vulcan and Federation law."

Jim can feel her left eye twitching of its own volition and she scooted away from him. "Is that what I've been feeling for the past five months? Can you read my mind?"

Spock could not stop the sigh that escaped him; a human habit he picked up from his mother. "That is not how the bond works. I only receive feelings and impressions from my mate."

"Spock, I know you think that I'm your wife or mate or whatever, but I'm not." 

Brows furrowing at her continued refusal to accept clear facts, Spock was unsure how to convince her further. "Jim, one of the few fractured memories that I possess from my Pon Farr was that I explained that we would bond and join minds." How he craved to touch her and make sure she understood. "I...apologize I was rather vague in my description of what that entailed, but denying something does not make it untrue." 

"It does in my books. Nobody would choose somebody like me." She whispered, the feeling of unworthiness filled his mind and it physically hurt Spock to feel it from her. 

"Why do you believe this? You are very important to me as is our child you carry." He shifted his chair closer to her, sending affection through their bond in an effort to reassure her. Her posture relaxed and, though she still looked unsure, he could see she was starting to listen. "You are ta'an, Jim. A gift I have was fortunate enough to find." He clarified. "I had never thought that I would join with such a dynamic and engaging mind just as I had never believed that I would also have a child. I was told, as a youth, that I was...deficient in many things, the ability to create a strong bond and have a child of my own."

The blonde shook her head. "Spock, you are far from deficient and I think you deserve better than someone like me. You should break the bond. I saw you with Uhura and-" 

A frisson of fear lanced through Spock's heart at the thought that she would wish to break their bond. "Why would I do such a thing? You truly believe I would abandon you?" His eyes dart to her belly where their child was housed safe within. "Or our child?"

"I don't know. I've met a lot of Vulcans before and they expressed their opinions of humans pretty clearly." Jim's mouth twisted. "While they respect our species, I know they would either be horrified and revolted at the thought of a mixed child and a Vulcan-human relationship or want to take the baby away to try and force them into a life they deem acceptable by their standards and not tainted by human influence." 

Spock's heart soared at her defense and protectiveness of their child, but broke at the thought that she'd think he would share some of the more unsavory behavioral traits that many of his people do. This meant that she would accept him for who and what he was, not seeing him as less. It also gave more evidence to the fact that she loved her child enough to protect it from any perceived danger. "Jim, that is-" He shook his head. "-I would not do such a thing. I, myself, am a-"

Guilt and regret made her curl in. "Spock, I didn't want to burden you with this. You didn't ask for it." 

"I may have not asked for it, but that does not mean I do not want it."

Raising his hand, he silently asked permission to touch her. When she nodded, he placed his hands on her rounded belly. Despite the fact that it was covered by the maternity uniform, he could still gain faint impressions of their child within. Peace, calm, and comfort flowed into him from their developing offspring and Jim pulled his hands up so she could lift her shirt enough for him to touch her soft, smooth skin. When he was touching her again, skin-to-skin, his touch telepathy sang at being so close to his mate and child, at being able to feel them in more than just the purely physical, but in the mental aspects as well. Spock closed his eyes and felt his son or daughter shift and kick against his palms. It was...exquisite. How he wished he could stay in this moment forever.

"Thank you." He whispered.

He slowly pulled back and Jim bit her lip as she pulled back down her shirt. "This is no burden, Jim."

"I didn't mean to keep the baby from you. I just--I just don't want you to think you have to be with someone like me because of this. We can figure out a way for you to be able to be with your son or daughter without being saddled with me."

"You are my perfect match. You are my soulmate." He knew his words were far from enough and inadequate, but he needed her to understand just how important she was to him, the gift she was, and how perfect she was. "When I first saw you it was shan'ha'lak."

"I don't speak Vulcan."

"It is loosely translated as the engulfment. Humans call it love at first sight." 

Jim gave him a look of pity and heartbreak. "You must not know what that word means. I-" She turned away and he could feel the pain in her chest as if it was his own. "-understand. Terran isn't your first language and-"

She believed he didn't understand? His mother was one of the most respected linguists in the United Federation of Planets. Not only that, she had been one of the primary researchers in the design of the Universal Translator. He was also an instructor in teaching alien languages, Terran among them. He was almost offended by her conclusion. "I most certainly do understand your language and comprehend the meanings behind what I have stated."

"Look, you don't love me. You can't possibly love me. You don't even know me!" 

He knew what he felt just as surely as he knew her own feelings towards him if she would only allow herself to realize them. He never believed he would be teaching a human about emotions. He moved closer and placed two fingers on her chin to tilt her face up towards him. Her blue eyes were shining with tears making them bright. "Jim, I know you better to you may think. I have seen your mind just as you have seen mine."

Her smaller hand covered his and she leaned into his touch. "Allow me to know you and you will see what I speak is truth." His fingers tingled at the close proximity to her meld points and through the skin contact he could feel she felt unworthy and so insecure.

"Spock, I only meant to help you not to trap you into something like this. I'm so sorry."

"My Jim, you did not trap me. You have saved me."

The pregnant blonde stood quickly, shaking her head and ran her fingers through her hair. "Spock, look, you don't mean this and you're a commander and professor while I'm a cadet. I don't want to make a scandal. It looks bad for you." 

He raised a brow imperiously. "I find that I do not care. If anything, it would bring me great contentment to show others that you are my mate."

Loose strands of her hair that she had inadvertently loosened from her hair tie framed her heart-shaped face. "I won't keep the baby from you, but I can't-I can't do this. When you leave on assignment, it'll...hurt. I just think this was a mistake." 

Jim pulled away and the loss of contact left him bereft. Spock's brows furrowed. "Jim, I will not give you up. Allow me to court you. It will be my privilege, my honor, and it is my right to care for my mate."

Her face flushed a bright pink and it was so alien, but so beautiful. Indecision warred with desire in her mind. "You'll grow bored of me soon enough."

"Never." He breathed.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phew! Another chapter down and I'm so totally getting there with hooking them up. It's still going to be quite the journey, but they're "working on it".   
> I, again, do NOT want people to see Uhura as a bad person. She just doesn't know the situation between Jim and Spock. As its been stated several times, humans and Vulcans don't typically bond and, since there isn't a female Vulcan nearby, she will likely assume that he is not bonded and "fair game".   
> I am so overwhelmed and overjoyed that so many people seem to be enjoying my attempts to write this story! Thank you to everyone who has commented and/or given me a kudos.   
> As always, I appreciate ideas and criticism!   
> Thank you and I hope this next chapter is liked.  
> DarkWaters

Chapter Fourteen

"Jim?"

Twirling her pasta with her fork, Jim thought about the last two days. It was a strange thing to be the focus of someone in a good way, especially someone like Spock. Every thought and feeling she got through this 'bond' thing told her that what he felt and said was genuine, but she'd believed others when they'd told her they cared. Usually, it had ended up where she had been alone. Always alone. 

"Jim?" 

When she'd gotten back to the dorm she shared with Bones, he'd dragged her off to medical and had M'Benga and him do a deep brain scan. They'd been able to confirm Spock's story. M'Benga had also explained to Jim that, if Spock had bad intentions regarding her, he'd have easily been able to squash her mind like a bug or if there wasn't a mutual interest and compatibility that they'd have both died or gone insane. It had given her a lot to think about, eased some of her insecurities and fears that maybe he didn't care about her, but not all of them. They'd been thrown together out of necessity not love.

"Jim, dammit! Are you even listening? Stop playing with your food!"

"Hmm?" Putting down her fork, she looked up to see Bones scowling at her. 

"She's thinking about her mate." Gaila tapped at her PADD. 

"I'm totally listening, Bones." She then turned to Gaila. "And I am not thinking of my...mate." 

Opening her mouth to reply, the Orion was suddenly interrupted. 

"I'm going to kill you, Kirk." 

Jim turned in her seat to the sight of a, clearly, furious Uhura with a Cheshire Cat-like grin on her face. "Why, Bertha, you look particularly ravishing today. What can I help you with?"

If anything, she looked more pissed if the dark coloring of her cheeks was anything to go by. "You programmed my PADD to where my final essay for Federation Political Sciences was in ancient Klingon! I hadn't learned Klingon, let alone the ancient dialect! I couldn't change it so I had to translate it and rewrite the whole thing on another! It took me all night because it was due this morning."

Jim may not hate the other woman, but it didn't mean she was going to go easy on her. "Hmm. Right of passage, Deloris. It's tradition to do pranks on fellow cadets." She pointed with her fork. "Besides, I made sure that the assignment due date changed so it wasn't due until next week because Proffessor Gibrank was called away to his home world for his nephew's sudden coming of rite celebration."

Sparks shot from her eyes and Jim just smiled. "That makes it worse! You don't do this to anyone else!"

"Not true." She protested. Things did get boring occasionally. "I put color changing dye caps in Gaila's gym clothes that'd react to her sweat. She kind of killed it when she wandered in on Bones naked and asked him if purple was a more pleasing color to terrans since she wanted the opinion of a human male." The doctor covered his face and groaned. "He actually turned the same color when he started choking on his coffee so it was like a double prank." 

She growled while Gaila's high tinkling laugh only made the blonde smile wider. "Just because everyone's too scared of hurting you-"

Jim straightened in her seat. "I'm hurt! I get pranks done to me, too! It makes it to where we build camaraderie. Just last week Gary reprogrammed my shower to only pour out Gebatian jello. That shit solidifies into a jiggling gel mess in seconds." Uhura's eyes narrowed as she continued. "It took me hours to get it out of my hair-" Shuddering, Jim indicated her body. "-and other places. I got gelatin in places where no one should ever get gelatin." 

Bones rolled his eyes at his friend's antics. "I live and work with infants."

Leaning back in her chair, she crossed her arms, amused. "You need to grow a thicker skin, Susan. You look like a Susan." 

She growled and muttered expletives in Klingon as she stormed off.

"One with no honor." Jim translated and turned to Bones. "And here I thought she liked me." 

Gaila stood, holding her tray, her eyes darting from Jim to Uhura and back. "I had better go to my friend." 

Jim waved her off. "Sure, Gaila. Make sure she's not too mad at me." She said seriously. 

The redhead nodded. "Catch you on the turn-side."

"It's flip side." She automatically corrected. The redhead looked confused at the human expression, but rolled her eyes and nodded before going after the communications track cadet. 

She actually didn't mind Uhura. She was fun and interesting, but Jim just couldn't help but see her with Spock. Jim had seen her go into his office yesterday and come out with a smile. She wasn't an idiot. It wasn't hard to identify when someone was attracted to another person. 

Jim truly wanted to believe Spock was hers just as much as she was his, but it was such a new idea that it hadn't really settled. 

Bones harrumphed and turned to face the cafeteria entrance. "Well, look at that."

"Hm?"

"Your husband is coming in to eat with the commoners." 

Her eyes snapped up to follow where he was looking at the front doors and Jim's heart started to beat wildly. He was here for her. The idea that he'd deliberately sought her out made her feel warm inside, but the fact that it was out in the open wasn't something she'd considered. She slunk low in her seat. Spock's head spun and the severe lines of his face softened when he found her.

"Shit! Do you think he really saw us?" She whispered.

Bones turned, one of his eyebrows raised. "Well, let me put it this way. If he was to have to describe you to a police sketch artist they'd probably find you in about five minutes so, yeah, I think he saw you." He spun in his seat and Jim watched as the Vulcan commander started to make his way to where they were seated. "Although, kid, it looks like he'll get here a hell of a lot sooner with how fast he's moving."

"Oh, God, no." He wasn't lying. Jim's eyes darted around the cafeteria and she could see a few other cadets watching them with interest. What were people going to think? A respected Starfleet Commander coming to sit with a pair of cadets. Jim tried to sink through the floor.

Bones turned back to Jim. "Remember what M'Benga said? It's good for the baby and you to spend time with him."

"But not now! People are looking!" 

He just shrugged. "Let them look. They'll probably think he's just talking to you about a lesson or something. Advisors do that occasionally." He checked the clock on the wall. "I'd better head out anyway. I've got a class in about a half an hour and I need to get going since its across campus."

"Don't you leave me! It'll look less suspicious if you stay!" She begged. 

"Sorry, kid. You're on your own." He said unapologetically. 

"Traitor! Deserter!"

"I'm crying on the inside, kid." He deadpanned. 

Jim watched Bones glare at the commander as he passed and whisper something at him. Spock simply raised a brow and nodded. She didn't even want to guess what he said. 

Spock joined her, sitting down with a grace Jim envied. God, he was so...perfect. She could look at him all day and never find a thing wrong with him. The bond in her mind practically glowed in response to her thoughts.

"Hi, Spock. What are you doing here?" 

Jim just now noticed him taking out a box containing cooked vegetable mix in some sort of sauce and quinoa. "I would have thought it was obvious. I am having lunch with my bondmate."

Her face felt hot as the words flowed easily from his tongue. "But professors never eat with students."

"You are not my student, k'diwa. You are my wife and carrying my child." He looked so damn sweet and innocent that Jim wasn't really sure how to respond to that. 

"But people are going to see and know something's going on between us."

Spock didn't respond. He simply ate a forkful of vegetables. Maybe just this once would be ok. 

She wondered if this was what Gaila had meant when she had told her he was going to publicly 'claim her'. They were definitely in public. 

"Jim, you haven't taken in adequate nutrition." 

"Huh?" She looked down at her plate of half-eaten pasta and veggies that she'd pushed aside. "Oh. I'm not really hungry for this." 

"If your own lunch does not appeal to you then may I offer my own or I can obtain a different dish for you." He made to push his own food towards her and Jim shook her head. As it was she could see two other cadets watching them and she tried to lean back so the pillar next to her would conceal her slightly. 

"I'm good, Spock."

His brow furrowed and she could feel his concern. "Really, Spock. I'm fine. Thank you." Running her fingers through her hair, she took a deep breath. She'd been thinking hard about what she was going to ask for a while and was grateful they were in a secluded corner in the back. "I was wondering-I mean-" Jim stuttered. "-Would you like to come to my next check-up? It's tomorrow at 0700 so I don't risk missing any lectures."

Spock's eyes widened in surprise and Jim quickly backtracked. "I mean, you don't have to. I know that a lot of Vulcans aren't big fans of Interspecies pregnancies. I just thought you might want to see the baby and-" 

Spock's lips quirked in a small smile and absolute joy streamed through, making her heart lighter. And just when had she learned to identify his micro-facial expressions? "I would be honored and thank you for allowing me this, Jim."

"Really?" She asked, skeptical.

"Really." He made to reach out to touch her hand and Jim pulled away, aware that people could see. She might want to allow him rights to the baby and give him the experiences that he deserved, but she certainly didn't want to cause him embarrassment when this all came crashing down.

Spock nodded at her refusal of his touch, but she could tell he wasn't happy about it; simply accepting of it. "I do wish to speak with you in regards to our child's genetic heritage and I believe it is best done in private if you will allow this."

She'd gotten better at identifying the things coming through their bond and she didn't feel any negative emotions so, whatever it was, it didn't seem to be bad. It made her curious, though. 

"Ok. When would be a good time?" 

"If it would be permissible, then I could meet you at your shared dorm at 0600?" 

Jim had to think about it. Bones didn't leave for his training shift at SFM until 0630 and, if Spock needed their talk to be private, then she wanted to respect that. Her friend probably would understand. After all, he'd been pressing her to spend more time with Spock and this seemed important to him. "Sure. I don't mind. Just don't expect me to be fully coherent until I've had my coffee." She joked, but it fell flat with his disapproving expression.

"Caffeine is not recommended during pregnancy." 

"I'm allowed two small cups a day." She reassured him. "Believe me, I've been reminded enough times by my interfering roommate and I definitely need it to be able to keep up with my classes." 

Spock still didn't look too happy, but he let it go. Jim was grateful for that. The stresses of taking on so much was a challenge, but not one she was going to back down from. 

He ate his meal while she watched him and fiddled with her own, pushing it around her plate simply to have something to do until she had to leave for her meeting with her advisor, Captain Pike. She wasn't looking forward to it because of their shared past. It was a requirement that she had to do each semester for students to ensure they were comfortable and handling the transition to Starfleet. Why and how she had been assigned to him was a mystery. The pregnant cadet had done some research and discovered that, as commandant of cadets, he wasn't usually an advisor. It wasn't unheard of; just rare. Jim strongly suspected it was personal. The baby kicked in response to her growing worries and she rubbed her belly in an effort to soothe him or her.

"You are anxious."

"Hmm?" She asked absently. 

"I can sense you are nervous about your meeting with the captain." 

"A bit." Jim admitted. "How did you know about my meeting with Captain Pike?" 

Spock straightened slightly, but didn't look guilty. "The captain informed me he was your mentor and it is the middle of the semester which is when students meet with their advisors. I, myself, have several similar meetings with students under my purview." 

Well, that made sense. 

"He is also aware of our unique situation as he inquired about our relationship due to potential complications. I did not provide personal details in deference to respect your privacy and to allow you to disclose what you feel comfortable with." 

Goddammit, he was so perfect. 

Jim's eyes drifted to the clock on the wall and she jumped. If she didn't leave soon she was going to be late for her meeting with Pike. "I'm sorry, Spock, but I've got to run."

As she stood, he packed away his own lunch and joined her to her dismay. "Allow me to escort you."

"I'm-uh-I'm pretty sure I can manage." The blond pulled down her uniform over her rounded belly. It had been riding up lately and she needed a larger jacket and undershirt, but hadn't had the time to go to supply with her obscene course load. She'd been so busy that she was barely able to keep up. A lot of things were falling by the wayside. Even in her limited sleep time her brain was full of equations and papers she was having to write causing her to wake more exhausted than if she had simply not gone to bed.

With the way he was standing and with how close he was to her, she could tell she wasn't going to win this argument. She was having to learn that sometimes the little things weren't worth fighting about, but it still made her a touch nervous about the Academy gossip mill with seeing an instructor walking with a cadet. She wasn't embarrassed of him. She just didn't want him seen as less or sketchy by the faculty or students. 

She could smell the same spicy incense from all those months ago and it made her want to lean in and just breathe him in. It reminded her of the moments of kindness and absolute devotion he had shown her during his Time. Jim had never felt so...treasured. "Al-alright." 

Spock didn't seem to even notice that a few students were looking at them with curiosity or maybe he didn't care. He nodded, pleased and walked by her side, their strides perfectly in sync despite her having to adjust for her increased girth. 

"You don't have to do this, Spock. I'm perfectly capable of walking alone."

"I wish to ensure you reach your destination safely."

Laughing, she shook her head. "I'm pretty sure that I won't be attacked on my way to the captain's office."

He faced her, all humor gone. "Allow me this, Jim. I sensed what happened to you before you joined Starfleet. It was most-" He hesitated, searching for an appropriate word, but was failing. "-distressing to me and it is my duty as your bondmate to protect the one we are fortunate enough to have found and joined with." 

"We're not really-"

A spike of hurt and fear from his end caused her to wince and stop. She didn't hesitate to touch him this time. Jim couldn't imagine what it had been like for him, to feel another in pain and helpless to stop it. She felt awful that she had put him through that. She shifted closer to him, surreptitiously placing two fingers on the inside of his wrist under the cuff of his sleeve so it wasn't obvious to anyone passing by. "Okay, Spock."

He relaxed at the contact he'd clearly needed to alleviate his own discomfort. They made their way to Captain Pike's office, closer than was usual for a student and professor, but not quite as close as bondmates.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok. I know people are gonna hate me, but I have been a bit busy lately and didn’t want to throw a million things into one chapter so I figured the next one is gonna be Spock and Jim with the first “together” baby doctor visit.   
> This one is directly after Spock leads her to her advisor meeting with Pike so it’s her and Pike from his POV.  
> Opinions-Do you all want to know the gender or no? I’m debating either way because it can be entertaining either way.   
> I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who’s reviewed, given kudos, and/or read Unknown Bond. Hopefully, it will continue to be a fun read!

Chapter Fifteen

From his window, Captain Christopher Pike could see the ebb and flow of the red cadet uniforms as students rushed to and from classes, an occasional black uniform or dress grays dotted amongst them. Potentially spending years on one single planet, no exploration or meeting new and amazing and terrifying races had not been in his grand plans in his older years. Years ago, perhaps, when he had been a young lieutenant fresh from his last mission and holding the hand of a small, bruised, and severely underweight girl, but not now. Things were so very different from then. He was better and worse for it.

In the middle of the crowd, he was able to spot the object of his thoughts easily. He'd always seen her. Jim had a presence about her that made her impossible to miss and it looked like Spock had fallen under her spell just as easily. 

The young blonde made her way towards the admin building, walking closer to the Vulcan than what was absolutely necessary. There was a hint of nervousness in her steps, but her posture and purposeful strides hid most of it. Only the most observant of individuals would be able to see it or someone who'd known her from her childhood years. Pike was both.

He sipped at his coffee and saw as she stopped and the pair of them talked for a short period before finally making their way into the building. While Chris had a great deal of respect for his soon-to-be First Officer, this was a meeting that needed to happen without his presence. 

Over the past month, he'd seen Jim grow into her role as an officer in training and had been impressed, but not surprised. The kid had a natural gift of being able to adapt to any situation and coming out on top. It was a skill that he had seen from her since she was a baby and one that he knew would make her into an officer that would change the universe. Pike knew he would be lucky if he would take up a chapter in the history of the Galaxy. Jim would have a whole damn book devoted to her.

Reports from her instructors and her grades listed sat in his desk. They'd been read and promptly noted by Pike. Everything he'd seen had only confirmed his projections of how Jim would do in an environment meant to challenge her. While it was still the early stages of her career, he sensed great things from her. He'd had the same predictions when it had come to Commander Spock and he was never wrong. 

One thing he just couldn't put his finger on was just how she'd come to meet his reclusive First and become tied to him in such an intimate way. Spock was a very private person and tended to keep to himself other than a few acquaintances and Pike was lucky enough to be counted as a friend. Loyal, dedicated, and intelligent was a fitting description, but barely enough to fully encompass all that the young commander was. 

As he took a seat behind his desk, he smiled over the rim of his mug. He shouldn't have been surprised, though. Jim had always had a singular skill for enchanting those around her and bringing out the best in them. Everyone who came into contact with her was truly blessed if they fell into her orbit. Pike had many years ago.

Extenuating circumstances and ridiculous Starfleet politics had torn them apart, but fate had thrown them together again and Pike wasn't one throw his second chance away. At first it had been others who had taken him away from her and later it had been his own shame at not fighting harder that had kept him from her. He'd be damned if he let her get away again.

The wait for her to get to his office was longer than he expected, but it gave him extra time to prepare for his meeting with her. He shifted the many piles of PADDs on his desk, putting away the few that had classified information on them and straightening those that were focused on the young blonde that was due to appear at any moment. He couldn't fully dismiss the slight feeling of his own nervous and excited anticipation. 

It was too soon and not soon enough when his door chimed, his visitor requesting entry. He knew who was on the other side, but it didn't serve to make him any less curious. Jim was an unknown, so very different from the angry teenager he'd known, but the same in her fierce determination, sharp intelligence, and her strength from what he'd seen in his reports. 

"Come."

In stepped the cadet he'd been expecting and, as she snapped off a perfect military salute, he wondered just what was going on behind those very blue eyes. Jim's posture was off due to her having to accommodate the child growing within her, but her uniform and behavior was impeccably perfect as dictated by the academy. 

Gone were the sharp edges Tarsus had brought out in her. In their wake were softer ones, her eyes back to the same curious and excited demeanor that he'd seen before when she'd been so innocent despite the horrors in that damn farmhouse. He'd missed the signs and he regretted it and would regret it for the rest of his days.

"At ease, cadet." He murmured.

Jim looked unsure at his tone, but complied to change her stance to a perfect parade rest. He held out his hand in a gesture for her to take a seat and she reluctantly complied, her expression guarded.

"Do you know why you're here?" He asked.

Frowning, she took a moment to answer. "For my advice and evaluation meeting, sir."

Pike sighed at the practiced speech and folded his hands across his desk. "Yes. And no. This meeting is a twofold session." He slid one of the PADDs to her and Jim took it, her eyes moving up and down as she scanned the document. 

"As you can see, your instructors are very impressed with your work. In particular, your tactical professor had nothing, but positive things to say." 

Jim's brows drew up in surprise. Did she really see herself as less? 

"Top of the class is an impressive feat." He smiled, but grew serious at what he had to say next. "There is still some work to be done though in your Interspecies ethics class. While your coursework is excellent, your debate methods are-" He paused, searching for the right word. "-they're a little overzealous at times." Oh, he'd heard about them. "Sometimes, a delicate approach is needed even when the other person's point of view and beliefs don't correspond with ours." 

"Yes, sir." Jim gave a jerky nod and Pike sighed, knowing that she was still upset about the debate in regards to crew members and the laws of governing planets that weren't members of the Federation. 

"While you raised some good points that could apply to extreme situations, it can be complicated. You may not realize it right now, but the prime directive is there for a reason. We are not to interfere. If we were to apply our laws and belief system to other planets then we would be little more than dictators. Not only that, but our presence could be disruptive and damage their society."

"Yes, sir." 

He hated having to do this, but the policies in place were there for a reason. "Jim-"

Eyes snapping up, the young cadet defiantly glared. "But I don't agree with it. I don't think it's right to simply leave behind a crewman or let them die because of it." 

He inclined his head in agreement. "You are right, but wrong at the same time. Nobody should ever be simply left behind and every effort should be made to retrieve them safely, but there are times when it has to be done to prevent potential damage to another race." He could see Jim vehemently disagreed and he leaned back to type in a few commands into his computer. "It's like someone coming into your home and telling you how to do things simply because they think their way is better. It's wrong. Who are we to decide and it can go horribly wrong. To them we are aliens and it can also be a frightening experience so a captain would have to minimize the damage."

The young blonde chewed the inside of her cheek as she thought over his words. 

"Imagine if Vulcans had come in when we were in the middle of the crusades. They were exploring the universe when we were fighting over arrogant beliefs that one religion was more superior. It would have created chaos and made it to where we never learned from our mistakes. Not only that, but it would have also created an unequal partnership. When you become captain, you are going to be out in a position where you will have to make decisions that are similar. My captain, Robert April, had to do the same once and it ended in disaster. It nearly plunged an entire world into civil war. I sent you the file for you to study. Sometimes, it can go well, but, more often than not, staying out of it is truly the best option." 

"Thank you." 

He only hoped his words would make it through. Real world examples sometimes provided the best evidence. She definitely looked interested much like Spock would when confronted with an intricate puzzle. Now, onto other matters. "Now, I wanted to ask a few questions. How are you settling in?"

"Fine." 

Just great. Monosyllabic answers. "Just fine? Let me ask you something. Why are you in Starfleet?" 

"Nothing better to do."

Pike frowned at the flippant answer. "Try again."

"Better medical care for my kid." 

Goddammit, she was stubborn to a fault. "If that was the case then you would have just gone to medical. You're entitled by virtue of being a Starfleet brat." He smiled wryly at her. "In more ways than one I think." Leaning back in his seat, he was partially curious, but he also had a good idea as to the answer. "Let me put the question in another context. Why did you choose command rather than the science division. After all, with your background and degree, it'd make more sense. Professor Leeson almost wants to try and poach you for your work on quadrotriticale." 

Squirming in her seat, Jim finally started to open herself to really think about her decision rather than sarcasm being her weapon. "I-I want to make a difference. Sticking myself in a lab, while fascinating, just wasn't for me. I want to see new things and help people." She became quiet and Pike could see the hurt lying just beneath the surface. "I think you know why. I never want another tragedy like that to happen and one of the ways to prevent it would be to be on the front and making key decisions. It's not the only reason, but it's a start."

Satisfied with her answer, Chris made a short note in her file. "You're right. It is a start." Shutting off his computer, it was symbolic in the fact that the official part of their discussion was at an end. Pike joined her in the chair next to her, ensuring she saw the physical proof that this talk was different. "There's a few other things to discuss here. I want to clear the air between us and this is off the record so you can speak freely without censure or repercussions."

Jim eyed him warily, likely not believing his statement. 

"You don't have to, but I think it'd be a good thing." He clarified.

She asked, her voice small and unsure. "Why'd you abandon me?"

"Before or after Tarsus?" He asked calmly.

At the mention of both of the major painful defining moments of her life, Jim's defenses flew up faster than a ship heading into battle and raising shields. "Both. You left me and never came back. Like Winona, you ditched me."

"Politics and orders." He answered. "Things aren't as black and white as you think, but you're right. I should have fought harder." Sighing, he remembered the challenges of trying to do the right thing. "I'd signed my commission and it made it to where there was no way I would have been allowed a planet side posting to adopt a child. Not only that, but to adopt the child of George and Winona Kirk? High profile and watched by the public and it was seen as inappropriate because the public had the ridiculous romantic belief of keeping you in Winona's care to enforce the image of strong family values. The widow of a hero raising the child born in battle and saved because of love." Jim's brows drew down and her cheeks flushed bright red. She started to tremble with an anger that didn't shock him. He knew his answer wasn't sufficient to account for his failure. His heart hurt at what his failure to fight had done and just what she'd gone through because of it. "They were wrong in what they did and their inaction cost you more than I can imagine, Jim." 

"Damn right it did." She growled and placed a protective hand over the swell of her belly. "I will always fight for what's right and, if that means breaking regulations to do so, I will. I will never allow something awful to happen to other people simply because of it otherwise what are we fighting for? Why be in an organization that puts their image above what they preach?"

And this was why he'd wanted her in Starfleet so bad. They needed someone to challenge them. It was far past time that a new generation changed old views. "You need to remember, though, that change can be slow. It's not simply a matter of leaping before looking." His shoulders fell slightly and regret filled him. "I should have started trying to initiate change sooner. Generational ships are a relatively new concept for Starfleet and one concept I battled for because of what happened to you." Pike continued and she looked up in surprise. "I couldn't take you with me, but I'm working to stop it from happening to someone else." 

He was grateful when she allowed him to place his hand on her bicep. She was still tense, but, as the moments stretched on, he felt her start to relax. "I know it's late-probably too late, but I want to continue to do more just as I want you to do the same." His lips turned up and Jim copied his expression. "Besides, I have a feeling you're going to be a force to be reckoned with."

Her lips curled up in a mischievous smile. "Maybe. Probably."

"Now, about that husband of yours-"

Jim tensed once more and the captain raised his hands in an image of supplication. "He's not-" Her cheeks puffed out as she took a deep breath. "It's complicated."

"I'm not going to press you. Spock made it very clear that this was private and I respect that. I think we've talked about enough today and I hope that we can at least build something."

Jim slumped in her chair, relief evident in her posture. "Thank you."

"I just want you to know that I served with him for a little over a year and he's a good man, but he's a lot like you in the fact that he's one stubborn son of a bitch." He warned.

Jim laughed and shook her head ruefully. "I can believe that."


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Getting to the appointment to see the baby! I have to ask. Do you want the gender revealed or a surprise when she has the baby? Also, can you guess why McCoy is excited about Spock? Teehee!  
> I want to say a huge thank you to everybody who was sweet and gave kudos and reviews! Well, we’ve gotten a few things down in this next chapter and it took me a while because I kept going back and changing it, unsure of how to do things. I’m hoping to do the next one from Spock’s perspective. What do you all think? Also, I’m totally 50/50 on disclosing the baby’s gender.  
> Hope this chapter is liked!  
> DarkWaters

Chapter Sixteen

The next morning dawned far too soon for her and Jim's only thought was getting to the small coffee maker she and Bones had gone half and half to buy. The replicated version tasted like shit. It was so worth it.

She'd been up most of the night thinking her meeting with Pike and about what Spock might say. As a result, she hadn’t been able to sleep. She was surprised Bones hadn’t heard her pacing and slammed her with a hypo. It had been an...interesting meeting. 

The smell of the coffee brewing helped her to wake up a little, but she couldn't stop the glare directed at the tiny Barbie-sized cup Bones had left out for her as a grim reminder of her caffeine intake allowance. It was wrong on so many levels. She supposed it was better than nothing. When this kid was born her ass was gonna get the biggest coffee that existed.

Adding In some sugar and half and half after she poured a cup, Jim was finally able to enjoy her drink. 

"Mornin', kid." 

Jim slowly turned to see Bones, fully dressed in his Clinic scrubs and looking far more put together than Jim who was still bleary eyed and in her sweats and the ol’ miss shirt she’d stolen from him. "You're not normal, you know that?" Chuckling, he moved next to her and pulled out his customary travel mug that was twice the size of her pathetic cup. She gestured with her coffee. "I've never seen anyone so grumpy be so...awake in the mornings. It’s creepy.”

Once he'd filled and sealed it, her friend turned and faced her. "It's my natural charm."

"Natural something. I'm pretty sure it's not charm." She snorted. 

She'd barely taken one sip when she saw her friend Bones turn into her physician Dr. McCoy. Jim could practically hear his thoughts centering on his medkit in the living room area as he looked at her a little too closely for her liking. "How are you feeling, Jim?"

Rolling her eyes, she shifted away from him. "Far too under caffeinated for this." 

“You're looking a little rough.” He started to move closer and Jim dodged him to make her way into the living room area.

“My heart's all a flutter with your sweet words.” 

Leaning back against the counter, McCoy scowled. “Jim, you look like shit this morning.”

“Told you wasn't charm that you had.” She muttered.

“Don't think I haven't noticed you sleeping less as mid-terms are approaching.”

Jim rolled her eyes. The man was like a dog with a bone. “So are you.”

“I’m not the one who’s pregnant!” He snapped. 

“Now that’d be something to see.” She mumbled around the rim of her mug. This was getting old. 

While she appreciated his care and concern, there were times that it just wasn’t practical. With a full course load and then some, it was near impossible to do everything he asked of her. As it was, she had to consider her time postpartum. She still would have schoolwork, exams, and things to do on top of being a new mother to keep up. As a result, she had to do even more now to be able to have a lighter set later.

“Stop deflecting and changing the subject.” He snapped.

“Yes, mother.” 

“Jim-“ Bones’ face started to turn a shade of red that was rapidly reaching critical.

Slamming her mug down, Jim didn’t even notice the coffee spilling over her fingers. He just didn’t understand that life sometimes wasn’t able to be done by the book. “I’m fine, Bones.” 

“I’m serious.” He glared and Jim matched his expression.

“So am I.” She argued back. “I'm fine and I'll be seeing you in less than two hours anyways. Clinic hours are not right now. Not here.”

“If you don’t slow down and rest then you’re going to get sick and collapse. Your health is no joke and-“ Snapping the lid on his mug shut, he pointed and Jim felt more tired now than she had ten minutes ago. 

The blonde kneaded at her temples and quickly pulled her hands away, grimacing in disgust at her right hand that was still wet with coffee. “I know.” Jim told him, wiping her hands on her sweats. “Just-look, I'm fine. After mid-terms are done.” 

He looked like he’d eaten something incredibly bitter and wanted to say more, but was restraining himself with a lot of effort. Just as their staring contest started to become awkward, their door chimed, causing her to groan. She’d been hoping to be dressed and look put together before tackling this drama. 

Eyes flicking up to the clock, she noticed that Spock was earlier than she’d expected. In fact, he was twenty minutes early. She didn’t want to move and face her friend, yet. 

Bones opened the door to see Spock on the other side holding a brown bag along with two bottles of juice, all labeled with the logo of the upscale healthy cafe Jim had seen last week and had promptly walked away from because her budget wasn’t that friendly.

“Commander.” He grunted by way of greeting.

If Spock looked shocked at seeing him open the door, he didn’t show it. “Doctor.”

His eyes drifted down to what the commander was holding. “Why you shouldn’t have.” 

Spock arched a brow at his statement and Jim rolled her eyes. “I should not have what, Doctor?”

“Came early and brought us breakfast. That’s mighty kind of you.” Bones’ head turned back and forth between Jim and Spock, looking far too interested in Spock’s possible motive.

Jim wondered how much force it would take for her to lose consciousness if she slammed her head on the table. 

“This is not for you.” Soft eyes found her and Jim about melted at the look. “I came early to ensure that my mate-“

“Not really your-“ Jim started.

“Takes in the necessary nutrition for the benefit of her health and that of our unborn child. The earlier time is to allow her adequate time so she does not suffer any gastrointestinal upset by being forced to rush. It is my duty and privilege as her bondmate to see to her health and wellbeing and to care for her especially during this time.” 

How the hell did she find this kind, thoughtful man? 

A slow, devious smile spread onto Bones’ face as he turned to look at Jim. It was one that instantly made her suspicious and straighten unconsciously in wary trepidation at the possible meaning behind it. Warning bells and bright neon signs flashing ‘DANGER DANGER’ were going full force in her mind at whatever he was plotting.

“Well, isn’t that fascinatin’? Seems like I could learn to like you, yet, Mr. Spock.” He may have been speaking to Spock, but he was focusing his attention on her. He was up to something and Jim was pretty sure she wasn’t going to like it.

“Bones-“ Jim warned, but he wasn’t listening. 

Instead, the brunette simply grabbed his coffee, tipped an imaginary hat at Spock, and left, moving at a far too happy pace than he had any right to this early in the morning. 

Jim narrowed her eyes at his retreating form for about a minute before turning her focus back to the Vulcan standing (nervously?) in her doorway. Looking him over appreciatively, she couldn’t deny how absolutely handsome he looked in his instructor blacks and form fitting coat. He seemed to have a skill at catching her looking like a stray compared to him looking like a pedigree vision, all elegant lines and beautiful. 

“Uh-ignore him.” Stuttering, Jim waved him in and gestures to the chair opposite her. Spock didn’t even bat an eyelash at her less than appropriate set of clothing and the mess of blonde tangles on top of her head. 

However, as he got closer, his expression changed to one of slight concern. “You appear fatigued? Is there a reason for this?”

“Not you, too.” Jim mumbled. At Spock’s questioning look Jim straightened her shoulders in an effort to be more ‘there’. “I’m fine.”

“Fine has variable definitions. Fine is-“

Jim chuckled and rolled her eyes. “I’m adequate, Spock. It’s just a bit early for me. I haven’t had enough coffee, yet.” She told him, gesturing to him by lifting her mug. 

Spock finally joined her at the small table, laying out the various food items and that was when Jim realized that it was all meant for her. He gently pushed the food towards her. It looked like he was expecting to feed a whole squadron of cadets! There was a spinach and egg breakfast burrito, hash brown square, banana muffin, full blown vegetarian omelet, turkey sausage, fruit, and yogurt. She never ate breakfast (much to Bones’ ire) because her copper supplements made her nauseous as hell. 

“Uh. This is quite the spread, Spock.” 

“I was unsure what you would prefer to eat and I deduced that you may not have time to prepare a nutritious meal as you were taking the time to meet with me.”

Jim looked up and his expression was so earnest that she didn’t have the heart to refuse even though the thought of food this early made her gag. There was a small tendril of encouragement creeping in and she suspected it was an effect of their bond. 

Smiling, she picked up one of the forks that had been in the bag and took a bite of the omelet. He looked so pleased at her acquiescing to his unvoiced request that she swallowed down her nausea as she started to eat.

“Why don’t you join me?” 

She was grateful when he nodded and pulled a container towards himself. Being watched while eating was so not her thing. It brought back awkward feeling of when she had been rescued from Tarsus and the doctors and counselors were monitoring her food intake.

“You don’t have to do this.” Jim fiddled with her fork. “You know? Taking care of me.”

A small line appeared between his eyebrows at her statement. “I enjoy caring for my pregnant mate. It ensures your health and that of our baby.”

Of course. The baby. That’s why he’d brought everything. She’d been stupid to think it was more than it was. “Yeah.” Smiling, she forced another bite. “The baby.”

She managed half of the omelet before she couldn’t take in anymore without throwing up and pushed the container away. “Thank you.”

Nodding, Spock cleared the food and went to store it in her refrigerator. It was kind of nice having him help her. Spock paused in the act of placing the leftovers in the refrigerator and slowly turned to face her, a alike of concern drifting into her mind. “There is almost nothing in here.”

Jim waved him off and polished off her coffee. “Bones and I just haven’t had a chance to go shopping. We’ve been a bit busy what with classes and stuff. There’s always the replicator.”

She could see he wasn’t happy with her dismissal of the state of their supplies and wasn’t surprised at his posture becoming rigid. “If the Doctor is unable to assist in your care then I can rectify the issue. You and your continued wellbeing are of utmost importance.” He told her, his voice sharp.

“It’s fine.” The blonde reassured him and he reluctantly returned to the table. “So, what did you want to talk about?”

Spock joined her back at the table. She knew he was still not pleased, but it was a conversation for another day. This one, alone, looked like it was going to be a doozy. 

“I wish to speak of our child’s genetic heritage.” He seemed to need a minute collecting his thoughts and Jim had to fight off the temptation to tap her fingers against the table in a nervous habit. “The baby will be part human and part Vulcan.”

Jim’s smile became brittle and her grip tightened on the ceramic handle of her mug. “I won’t apologize for that.”

“Why would you? Kaiidth. What is, is. I am only stating fact.”

“Because he or she is perfect the way they are.” Jim defended her child.

“I am not disagreeing.”

“And I wouldn’t change them for the world.” She continued, not hearing him.

“I am not asking you to.” 

“I won’t force him or her to adhere to only either human or Vulcan cultural norms. They can make their own path with whatever they feel comfortable with.”

Spock’s lips twitched in the beginnings of amusement. “Nor would I, my Jim.”

Glaring, she was so focused, she didn’t see his reaction to her passionate defense. “And I certainly wouldn’t force them to change for you.”

“Nor would I ask you to.”

“Because I love this baby no matter what.” As if, the tiny being inside agreed with her, she felt the baby turn and gently kick.

“As do I.” He said quietly.

“And furthermore-“ 

When she put her hand flat on the table, Spock reached out and grasped her wrist, effectively stopping her in her tracks. “Jim?”

Suddenly stopping in her tracks, Jim looked at him with confusion. “What?”

Amusement flittered into her mind, like gentle butterfly wings. “You are not listening and coming to erroneous conclusions based on limited facts.”

The blonde shifted in her chair, but didn’t remove herself from his careful hold. Spock was gentle, as if he was giving her the chance to pull away if she wanted and Jim wasn’t sure she did. “What-what are you saying?”

“I am attempting to tell you that our child is far from the only mixed-species Vulcan in recent history.”

Well, that was...unexpected. “Oh?”

Arching a brow at her clear surprise, he continued. His hand slipped away with a gentle caress and Jim shivered at the tingling sensation. “I, myself, am half human.”

“Excuse me?”

Spock’s lips twitched in a small smile. “My mother is human and my father is Vulcan. I am surprised you do not know this as it is common knowledge.”

Jim was skeptical. In all of her time at the shipyards, she’d never heard of it. The Vulcan engineers never spoke of it, but they were pretty vocal of their opinions on humans. They weren’t speciest per se, but they had a superiority complex that she was all too happy to knock them down a notch when she kicked their ass the few times she did in chess or other things. “I’m pretty sure I would have heard of something like that.”

“It is not something I advertise.” 

“Because you’re embarrassed of it?”

“Never.” Spock shook his head and frowned. “I treasure my dual heritage because my mother is one of the most important and influential people in my life.”

Jim’s heart soared at his statement, but she could see there was more to it. “But others don’t feel the same?”

Spock hesitated and Jim could see and feel the pain he felt. It hurt her that he must have gone through so much and he didn’t deserve it. No one did.

“You are...not incorrect. There were many on my home world who were rather xenophobic and prejudiced in regards to my parentage despite the illogic of such behavior. I wish to ensure our child does not go through this.”

Jim’s heart melted at the knowledge that, even if Spock didn’t love or care for her, that he would be a good father to their child; that he would protect him or her from all that was wrong in the universe. “So, you’re like our baby?” Her hand skimmed over the taut skin of her belly and chocolate eyes followed the gesture.

“In some aspects. We are both of mixed races.” 

“So, my baby will be like you?” 

It shouldn’t matter and yet it did. One of the reasons she’d left Iowa had been because of the fear she had of her child being rejected. No matter how progressive Earth claimed to be, it never really was everywhere. 

“Yes?”

Jim was ecstatic. Some of her emotions must have leaked through because Spock didn’t react negatively. “I think that’s amazing!”

Spock’s lips twitched and she could feel his euphoria and relief at her reaction. “It can also be said that our child will also be like you. It is my hope that this will be the case as well.”

“I think you’ll regret that hope when you get to know me better.” She joked self-deprecatingly, but Spock didn’t do one of those ‘non-smiles’ of his. In fact, he was looking at her as though she was the most precious being in the world. It was a heady experience.

“I sincerely doubt that, Jim.” 

Her face heated at the low timbre and, coughing, Jim had just enough of her wits about her to ask a few other questions she had. “I know about some vulcan’s more negative thoughts on humans. Is that why you chose Starfleet?”

“Part of the reason.” Sighing, he looked away and Jim wanted so badly to hold him. She felt awful making him speak of such things and was about to stop him when he faced her. “In fact, my own father was of a conflicted mindset in regards to me. He was frequently absent in my formative years, critical of my less than Vulcan expression of emotions, and did little to defend my human mother or my own existence in public, even when it came to physical altercations.” 

Spock was bullied? And his father didn’t stop it?

Correctly interpreting her silence, he tilted his head to affirm her thoughts. 

This worried her. Just how would Spock’s father react to the news that his son had bonded and created a part-human child? Jim had no real experience with family, her own abandoning her to experience cruelty, abuse, and abandonment until she had been lucky enough to be taken in by her grandparents on her father’s side. 

“I did, however, get accepted to the Vulcan Science Academy before I joined Starfleet.”

“What happened?”

“They called my mother a ‘disadvantage’ during my admission. It was even while my father was present. The behavior went unchecked.”

Jim wasn’t surprised by the council, but she was about Spock’s father’s behavior. Why would someone not defend their mate and child?

“I rejected their offer.” Tilting his head, she could see a glint of mischief in his beautiful brown eyes. She so hoped her child inherited them. “I told them to ‘Live long and prosper’ and left. I have also not spoken to my father since my departure from Vulcan.”

A smile lit up her face and Jim laughed at his sass. “So, basically you told them to go fuck themselves.”

“Not in those words, but, essentially, yes.”

The corners of Spock’s eyes crinkled in good humor and she put an elbow on the table and leaned her head on her palm, letting it support the weight. “So you’re a rebel?” 

God, she loved him. Wait. Shaking her head, Jim shoved away that inappropriate thought. This was about the baby and Spock not her. “So, since you’re not speaking with your father, are you going to tell him about the baby? It’s kind of a big thing.”

Indecision flitted across his features and her heart sank at the knowledge that she was, probably, creating a bigger problem for Spock with his family dynamics. 

“I am...unsure. I am in frequent contact with my mother and I believe she would be pleased with the knowledge of a grandchild. I do not know how my father would react.” 

Jim moved her chair closer and lay her hand on his bicep. She desperately didn’t want him to have even more disruption with his family. How she wanted to hold him, feel his arms around her and offer him the comfort he deserved. 

“He will discover the truth of our bonding and child sooner or later. Either through my mother when I tell her or through official channels now that our marriage is registered.”

Jim cringed at the idea of marriage. Spock had had no choice. Death or her. It wasn’t fair. “We don’t have to really be-“

“He is the ambassador to Earth. Sch’n T’Gai Sarek.”

She ripped her hand back and blinked rapidly. The fuck? “The-the ambassador?”

Oh, fuck.

That was...a little more high profile than she wanted. She knew a bit of who Sarek was. He was, not only the ambassador to Earth, but he was the son of T’Pau, the direct descendants of Surak. She was the only person to have ever refused a seat on the Federation Council. Apparently, being a rebel ran in the family. 

Basically, Spock was like Vulcan royalty. “I’ve-uh-gotta get ready.” 

Concern practically radiated off of him in waves at her pulling away. “Jim?”

Her breakfast threatened to make a return appearance and she just needed to take a minute. This wouldn’t stay private for long. What, on Earth, would the Vulcan ambassador think of the fact that he was going to have a quarter Vulcan child? It was one thing for it to happen once, but another for it to happen with the next generation. If Sarek had issues with Spock, just imagine how he would react to the news of Spock’s child being even more human. Not only that, what would T’Pau think? Fucking dammit.

Standing, Jim struggled to hide her shaking hands. “The appointment. We can’t be late.” 

“Jim, do not concern yourself with this.” 

Her smile was brittle as she moved away towards the bathroom. “It’s fine. It’s all fine.” There was no way that Spock could stay with someone like her. Not with who his family was.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg! I love all of you for being so amazing and giving me the confidence to keep going! Thank you so much for giving me a chance!  
> I do have a question. Do you guys want me to reveal the gender? I haven’t decided yet so I want your opinions! The next chapter is the big appointment. I couldn’t help, but show more sappy love!  
> Let me know what you think and I hope this chapter lives up to expectations. Actually, I hadn’t written it in my plot outline, but I had fun writing it.  
> DarkWaters

Chapter Seventeen

Seeing Jim react so negatively to who his father was had been...concerning. It was not without merit on some levels as Spock, himself, had a complicated relationship with him. He could understand her trepidation at the knowledge of her father-in-law being in such a prominent position would make him an intimidating figure. 

Perhaps an introduction to his mother first would set her mind at ease and calm some of her fears. It was only logical to slowly assist with her integration into his family so as to not frighten his mate. In fact, Spock was also nervous at his father discovering the pregnancy and the fact that his son had even undergone the shameful affliction of Pon Farr. After all, he had been told by his own father and the medical staff on Vulcan that it would never happen due to his hybrid physiology.

Waiting patiently for Jim to complete her morning ablutions, Spock surveyed her living environment, curious about the woman who was his bondmate. The living quarters were still rather generic with neutral colors in a human-specific design, two bedrooms off to the left with a bathroom in between. There were few unique touches that spoke to the fact that it was occupied. There was a hand stitched quilt folded neatly on one end of the couch. On one end table there was a picture frame flashing between multiple pictures, all of the Doctor in various stages of his life with family and friends. 

There were only two pictures in regards to Jim. There was one of a gangly, blonde teenager with the linguist Hoshi Sato sat outside a small house. The location was not obvious and it confused Spock since, as far as he had known, she had never ventured to rural Iowa. Then there was another of the blonde during young adulthood with two elderly adults, both of them with blue eyes that looked shockingly like Jim’s. There were no picture of her younger than those age periods nor more than only those two. He had believed that humans usually enjoyed to display many pictures of their past. His mother had many, many (sometimes rather embarrassing) photographs of him during various stages of his life and development.

He found it her quarters rather spartan. It was not that he would judge it for what it was, but that he simply believed she deserved so much more than the bare minimum. For one thing, constant access to appropriate nutritional foodstuffs that were of better quality than the replicator was vital to her health. It concerned him greatly that the doctor was not vigilant in her needs.

Spock noted that she was clearly not receiving adequate rest. Her excuse of not having received her allotted caffeine intake did not dispel this diagnosis. He knew of her extreme course load and he did not approve, but to interfere would likely cause conflict. He did not wish to cause her upset. It could potentially create a rift between them. However, if it became detrimental to her continued wellbeing then he would have no choice, but to confer with the doctor as well as make recommendations to Captain Pike.

Spock had also noticed that she required new, more appropriate clothing that would accommodate her growing size. It was likely that she had not had the time to obtain these items due to her many demanding obligations. His jaw clenched at the sight of her wearing Dr. McCoy’s shirt and he did not approve in the slightest. It may have been an illogical dislike, but his instincts pushed him to disapprove of her wearing another man’s clothing. As it was, she was covered in his scent and it caused him to grit his teeth in distaste. He did not like this and it took a great effort to keep calm and force his more logical mind to remember that the doctor was not a threat and that the other man was Jim’s friend and not a rival male.

A few simple taps on his comm ensured Jamison would soon receive a grocery delivery and several new uniforms that was more form-fitting for her current size. He had not lied to her. He enjoyed caring for her and would still have received satisfaction even if she was not carrying his child. Jim may not realize or even believe it, but he did love her. It was simply a matter of convincing her of this fact.

His last communication with his mother had proven informative with her advice. He had still been vague in regards to just how involved he was with Jim and grateful that she had not pressed him too far. Her advice of sharing meals with Jim had been most useful and he intended to continue to have the opportunity to spend more time with her. It was his eventual goal to entice his skittish mate to be willing to do so in a more social setting. A “date” his mother had called it. 

Jim was taking an unusually long time to shower, but it had allowed him to receive the requested deliveries. He was placing the items in her refrigerator when she came out in a cloud of steam, her skin an enticing pink flushed from the heat and barely covered by a fluffy, white towel, finally absent of Leonard McCoy’s scent. Then there was the evidence of their time spent together so prominently displayed causing her towel to tent. It was enjoyable on many levels to the young Vulcan which he steadfastly refused to fully analyze right then and there. Spock’s mouth became dry at the sight of so much skin revealed to him and Jim’s face flushed even brighter when she saw that he was watching her.

She was radiant.

“Sorry. I-uh-forgot to grab my uniform.” Jim clutched the towel closer and gestured to her room. 

Spock swallowed hard, his own eyes looking appreciatively at the woman who had saved his life, who was growing another life inside that was a part of them both, and that he was growing to love more each day. It took him far too long to pull his attention away from the sight of her and remember that he had acquired the necessary clothing for her. Spock fumbled and held out the package of her new uniforms. Jim moved closer and slowly took them from him, a strange look on her face. “Is this for me?”

“Ye-“ He cleared his throat and pulled on his mask. “Yes, Jim.” There was amusement in the half-smile she gave him and she juggled the wrapped items, resting them on the swell of her belly. “It contains two sets of maternity cadet reds.”

Blue eyes softened in gratitude. “Thank you, Spock. That was very thoughtful of you.” 

xXx

Together, the pair made their way to the complex, Jim opting to walk. Her excuse had been for exercise despite Spock’s protests. From his research, it was a healthy endeavor even though he wished she wouldn’t. He did not like the idea of her straining herself during such a delicate time. Jim, however, did seem to become more energized as the journey wore on so he did not raise his concerns...for now. It had not been a long trip to the transport shuttle and it dropped them directly outside of the medical complex.

“So, Spock, I was wondering...”

He turned his head slightly to let her know he was listening. 

“Did you want to know the sex of the baby?” 

Her voice was hesitant and he wondered why she would be concerned with such a thing. He wanted to know everything. Not just about the pregnancy, but about her as well. She was still a mystery to him. He turned to face her and could see the hopeful expression, if unsure, expression written on her face. “If it would be permissible. I am curious and would appreciate the knowledge to be able to properly prepare for the birth.” 

Shrugging, Jim started to make her way up the steps with a bounce to her movements after his declaration. “I just figured that it would be illogical.”

His brows drew down slightly. “Why?”

“I just thought that it wouldn’t matter.” 

“It does not.” He replied. “I would be pleased with either male or female child however, I would like to experience the moment of discovery with you.” He paused, considering his next words carefully. “I have come to believe that it is a moment many parents come to enjoy when being told what they are expecting in a matter of months, but some do not wish to know so that they can have, what is known as, a surprise. I will defer to your preferences.” 

Jim’s lips quirked into another of those brilliant smiles and she tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her small, rounded ear. Perhaps it was the fact that she was reacting so positively towards his person that had distracted him. It was only a moment in time, but one of the most terrifying things he had ever experienced that he, even with his quick reflexes, had been unable to prevent.

Jim’s face morphed from her, happy, carefree expression to one of surprise as he watched in horror. He was once told that when you witness something that scared you that it would be perceived in slow motion, a coping mechanism of the mind to be able to handle a trauma, but it didn’t happen here. It was like it had been sped up and was of a speed that made it to where he had been unable to stop it.

Her forward momentum quickly jerked and she fell, face-forward and down. Her left foot catching on the step and she went down. Jim twisted on reflex and landed on her right hand, her hip hitting the corner of the step and the back of her head smacked against the one of the metal, horizontal poles that supported the handrail with a sickening thwack. He could hear the snap of bone of her wrist snapping under her and the cry of pain from her mouth. The sounds echoed in his mind.

“Jim!” 

One moment, she was on the ground and the next memory he had was of her in his arms, bridal style as he ran into the medical complex. He had no recollection of picking her up. 

She pat his chest desperately, her head darting to look at the many cadets and officers watching the pair with slack jaws. “Spock, I’m fine!”

His jaw firmed at her protests and he simply tightened his hold on her in response. 

“Spock, you can put me down!” She wriggled in his hold and he refused to let her go. 

“No.” 

He knew she was lying. He could feel her pain from his physical contact with her as well as through their bond. “Spock, I’m too heavy for you and I can walk. I don’t have to be carried!”

“Clearly you are speaking a falsehood and your weight is negligible to me.” He snapped. 

Jim hid her face with her left hand, her right at a sickening angle that was cradled against her chest. “Oh, my god! This is so humiliating.”

“I find that I do not particularly care.” He shot right back at her. He was grateful when she quietened and ceased her protests. 

The commander sped past the triage nurse who called out after him. He didn’t know what his expression was, but it had clearly been enough to stop her from pursuing him in his desperation to find a doctor. Spock paid no heed to the lower level doctors, his eyes noting the lower ranks of lieutenant, ensign, and cadet alike. He refused to let anyone except a higher level rank and position that had greater experience or her primary care physician to care for his mate in her time of need. 

He finally came to a commander. It was not high enough for his standards, but it would have to do. The human had graying hair and was of Asian descent, his doctor whites showing he was an attending. The man’s eyes widened at the sight of a Starfleet Commander carrying a protesting cadet and running full-pelt through the halls in a clear panic. 

“Commander Spock?”

“She fell.” His words failed him. They were far from enough to explain the full scope of what had happened, but the doctor clearly understood and gestured to a curtained cubicle. Spock was loathe to release her to another’s care.

“Sir, can you put her down. I just need to check her over. I’m sure she’s fine.” He soothed.

Spock’s hackles rose at what he was implying. “She is far from fine and is severely injured-“

“I’m not really-“ Jim started.

“If that is your assessment, Doctor-“ He argued over Jim, “-especially without an examination of your patient then you are clearly incapable of providing adequate care.”

The doctor’s head snapped back at the implication and his eyes narrowed. “Commander, I can assure you that I am more than qualified-“

“I do not believe so. I demand her attending physician, Dr. McCoy, be notified and that he-“ He ordered, every bit an ambassador’s son accustomed to dealing with those who did not do as ‘suggested’.

“Commander, how can I examine her if you don’t put her down!” The doctor interrupted and Spock did not want to. He didn’t want to, but Jim’s whimper of pain as she shifted his hold forced him to concede to be able to continue his argument.

He turned and gently lay her down, unable to control his wince when he saw her face twist in pain at the jostling he had tried so hard to prevent. When she tried to rise into a sitting position, he carefully pressed her back to recline.

He had to restrain his growl at the doctor approaching her. “Sir, you can leave, now.”

Spock’s fingers curled into loose fists when he felt a spike of pain echo through their bond as the doctor touched her to adjust her position. “Negative. Jamison Kirk is my wife.” 

The man’s hands paused in his check, but he remained professional when he turned back to face him. “I’m sorry, sir. I was unaware.”

“Spock, I keep telling you, I’m fi-“

“Do not pay any heed to what my mate is saying. She has a head injury.” He snapped and Jim’s mouth snapped shut, her lips thinning into a white line of disapproval. 

He turned his back to Spock and focused his attention on his patient. “Jamison, my name is Dr. Nguyen. What happened?”

Blue eyes that were bright with pain darted to Spock and then back to Nguyen. “I tripped on the steps outside.” Holding out her wrist, she allowed him to manipulate her arm to be able to get a closer look. “I’m pretty sure I broke it.” 

“Are you hurt anywhere else?”

Spock stepped closer to her when he saw her hiss in pain at the touch to the twisted joint. “She also hit her head on the metal handrail and her hip hit the corner of a step.” 

Nguyen sighed and turned his head, annoyance plain on his face. “I was asking your wife not you.” 

His spine snapped straight. “I am simply doing my duty as her husband to ensure you have all of the relevant facts in case her head injury impacts her memory. She is also approximately twenty-one weeks pregnant.”

He sighed and the doctor’s posture relaxed to appear non-threatening. “I can see that and I promise you that I will take care of her to the best of my abilities. I can also see exactly where she is hurt by sight and by the readings on the screen above her bed. I was simply asking her to check her neurological functions. I need to know if her memory of the accident is affected and see if she is able to feel everything.”

That...made sense. 

His focus returned to Jim as he lifted her shirt and ran the small tricorder over her abdomen, nodding at the results. “Is the baby ok?” The blonde asked, her voice tight with worry.

The older doctor took her hand, and even though he knew this gesture did not have the same connotations as Vulcans, he did not like it. 

“It’s fine from what I can see, but your obstetrician will want to take a closer look to be sure.”

Jim sighed in relief while Spock remained tense. While the potential loss of their child would traumatize him, the loss of Jim would surely kill him. He did not think he would ever recover.

Spock watched like a hawk as he moved to scan her hip and eventually probed at the site. Jim cried out when he pressed on it and Spock had to fight the urge to rip the man’s hands off of her.

When he started to examine her head and frowned, he experienced a moment of panic. 

“Jamison, I going to get a nurse to help you change into a gown before I start treatment and get better readings. Okay?” He lay his hand on her arm and Jim nodded with a tight smile. “I’m going to give you something for the pain because I’m a little worried about your stress levels and how they can affect you and the baby.”

His heart pounded in his side at the implications that her injury truly was severe enough that it could harm both her and their child. His worry increased tenfold for the both of them and he forced his face into a neutral mask so as to not add to the stress levels that the doctor mentioned. Nguyen placed small sensors in several places on her swollen belly. Jim was so fragile and only a thin layer protected their child from the harshness of the world. 

“I’d prefer to not be out of it.” Her smile was thin and brittle from her attempts to hide her discomfort. “I’ve had worse.”

Spock’s head snapped to look at Jim and he did not want to imagine just what she meant by that disturbing statement. Thankfully, the doctor paid no heed to her strange request, but it hadn’t gone unnoticed. Nguyen looked at Jim strangely for a moment, but shook himself quickly before focusing on pulling up her chart to scan through her record.

“Now, I can see from your chart you have a few allergies. Not too bad, but it will make it a bit challenging for pain relief. You’ll be hurting more as time goes on and for a few days after treatment. Especially, once we have to straighten out that wrist of yours so I have no choice, but to give you something a bit stronger.” He snapped a cartridge into a hypospray and injected into her neck. “This will probably make you a bit loopy, but it will help and will definitely prevent any discomfort you are currently experiencing.”

It wasn’t long after the shot was administered before Spock felt a wave of euphoria from Jim’s end of the bond and a goofy smile lit up her face. He frowned at her, unsure of the unusual behavior. “Is this normal, doctor?” 

Jim giggled drunkenly and Nguyen rolled his eyes at Spock which only increased his dislike at his blasé demeanor. “Yes, commander. It’ll wear off in a few hours which will be perfect timing because she should be finished with her treatment. She’ll still be uncomfortable until she fully heals, but she’ll be back to normal in no time.” 

Placing the equipment on a metal tray next to the bed, he depressed a button on the wall and moved towards the edge of the curtain. “I’ve called a nurse in to help her change and I’m going to call the doctor that normally cares for her to help on her case.” He reached out his arm and almost touched him in what would be a human gesture of comfort, but stopped in time before making contact. “She’ll be fine, commander.”

Spock stiffly jerked his head, still skeptical, and moved to be closer to his mate whose eyes were glazed over slightly. Taking a seat in the visitor’s chair next to her, he wished to hold her, but his guilt halted him. He had failed in his duty as a bondmate. He hadn’t protected her and kept her safe as he should have. This should never have happened. 

Mere minutes passed when a blonde nurse came in carrying a gown and blankets. Jim was more of a hindrance than a help when the nurse began trying to assist her out of her uniform jacket. She eventually gave up and simply cut the offending garment off to reduce the risk of further injury. 

His thoughts were far different seeing her barely clothed this time compared to when he had seen her this morning. He had seen her as radiant and perfect. Now, she looked so fragile and the sight of the large bruise blooming on her hip only served to emphasize how easily humans could be injured. 

The nurse quickly attached a simple splint to stop her arm from moving too much and left shortly thereafter with firm instructions to Spock to keep Jim from leaving the bed. 

Jim turned onto her left side and reached out, grabbing his unguarded hand. “You’re so pretty.” Spock’s eyebrows raised at the description and Jim continued, slurring her words. “And you’re soooo smart.”

He couldn’t stop the fond amusement he felt at his bondmate’s words. It was, for lack of a better descriptive word, cute. “I also believe you to be smart and...pretty, t’hy’la.” 

Jim giggled again and turned her hand in his to interlock their fingers. “You think I’m pretty?” 

Strange that that was what she had taken from his statement. Had it always been that her intelligence was ignored in favor of her appearance only? “Very. I should think a more appropriate description would be beautiful in both body and mind.”

Jim blinked slowly and pulled their joined hands to rest under her cheek, nuzzling against them and Spock almost pulled away at the inappropriateness of the gesture, his cheeks heating in a verdant blush. Jim’s eyes were wide with sorrow and guilt. “I’m so sorry.” 

Spock’s brows drew down and he squeezed her hand. Why would she be sorry? “Whatever for?”

Her eyes watered and Spock sensed her guilt. “It’s my fault. I might have hurt the baby.” Sniffling, she placed her good hand on her stomach. “I should have been paying better attention.” 

His own guilt overshadowed hers and he lifted his hand to run his fingertips through her soft hair. They drifted lower to her psi-points on the side of her face and temple, sparks tingling his skin. He projected calm through their contact and was relieved when she leaned into his touch. “Oh, Jim. If anything, the fault lies with me. Taluhk Nash-veh k’dular, ashayem. I cherish thee and you have no reason to feel this way.”

Jim sighed, her eyes almost closed. “You only like me because of the bond. It makes you like me. Nobody really likes me.” 

And, just like that, it was like all of the air had been sucked out of his lungs, but Jim clearly wasn’t finished because she kept speaking.

“And because of the baby. You don’t have to. It’s s’ok, Spock.” 

“Oh, Jim.” He sighed in heartbreak. Running the fingers of his free hand through her hair, she melted into his touch. “That is far from the truth.”

Either she didn’t hear him or didn’t want to. Regardless, she carried on. “I love you so much, but I can’t.”

She loved him? He had suspected. He had hoped, but he failed to understand her conviction that she couldn’t or shouldn’t express it.

Perhaps he would gain some answers at her reticence with the drug lowering her inhibitions. “Why?”

Her eyelashes fanned out over her delicate cheekbones as her eyes closed as she squeezed his hand. “I’m so broken. You can do so much better. Uhura likes you. She’s pretty and smart-“

“Kroykah, Jim! I will not ever entertain the thought of being with another!” Jim’s eyelids snapped open at the harshness of his tone and her bottom lip quivered like she was going to cry. For a moment, Spock was afraid he’d scared her when-

“See? You’re so sweet.” 

He relaxed and removed his hand to tuck a strand behind her ear to see her face better. Her blonde hair was so soft under his fingertips and it reminded him of a kitten that a colleague had once brought in to work. He had petted it out of curiosity and it had been just as soothing as his current actions of caring for Jim in her time of need. “Only for you, my Jim. Only for you.” The tension she carried continued to melt away the longer he touched her and she hummed in pleasure, her eyes, once more, drifting shut in contentment.

“But your plant research and thesis article sucks balls. Mine’s better.” 

Spock’s hand stopped in its motions. “Sucks...balls?” Shaking his head, he resumed the massage and resolved to read her work. Jim continued to be an enigma to him and he was determined to find out who this amazing human he had been so fortunate to find.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had wanted to include Spock’s care of Jim after in this chapter, but I felt bad since it’d been a while since I hadn’t updated in ages!  
> I promise to do it in the next chapter and it’ll be so cute! I can’t wait to get it “on paper”.  
> Oh, I just remembered a writer that I totally recommend! If you haven’t read their work then please give it a go! There’s funny moments, drama, and everything in between.   
> Hpets on AO3 is the author’s name and I enjoyed the ST stories so much! They were very well done. Here’s a link if you can’t find them.  
> https://archiveofourown.org/users/hpets/pseuds/hpets/works?fandom_id=601802  
> Hope you all like it and, as always, I love hearing from everyone!
> 
> DarkWaters

Chapter Eighteen 

“Ow ow ow ow!” 

Jim fought her natural instinct to pull away from Bones’ hands as he quickly attached a vivid pink splint to her wrist and she could feel Spock’s dislike of the doctor when she hissed in pain. Bones expertly followed her movement and finished his work. Thankfully, Spock didn’t do anything to him. Probably because he knew it was necessary. 

She viewed the lurid pink monstrosity on her right arm with distaste. “Is this really necessary?”

“Don’t be so melodramatic. You’ll be back to juggling PADDs and shooting your phasers in less than a week.” 

“But it’s pink!” 

Bones rolled his eyes. “I never thought you would be one that would be the kind of person that thinks everything is related to gender stereotypes based on appearances. It’s pink because that’s just what’s available in your size. The next size down is black and the one above is purple. It’s just how it is. I had a male argellian in here the other week who got stuck with one of these just the same.”

As he turned and started to do something, Jim glanced around the private clinic room. She was thankful for the privacy it afforded her and Spock. She couldn’t even imagine how embarrassed he must be from the dramatic show he’d been forced to give by caring her through SFM. 

Jim glared at the doctor, but suddenly winced when she shifted her position on the biobed. Spock stepped forward to stand next to her. Warmer than human fingers ghosted across the nape of her neck and sweet relief suffused her. Jim slumped sideways, her shoulder and head coming to rest against Spock’s strong chest. A satisfied grumble sounded in her ear and Jim was so thankful she didn’t have the will to be embarrassed at showing this weakness. 

Bones’ eyes strayed from his work to look at her and Jim immediately straightened from her slouching position, but, judging by the small smirk on his face, she hadn’t really succeeded in hiding the fact that she had liked the comfort that Spock had provided. 

The blonde’s eyes darted around the exam room almost like she was seeking an escape route even as her cheeks heated under Bones’ knowing eyes. 

Bones nodded, seemingly satisfied at her supposed acquiesce to his lecture. “You’ll be fine, but I’ll be writing you off for the next twenty-four hours.”

“What?” Jim squawked. 

McCoy carried on over her protests. “I will want you back tomorrow to do another regen session for those bruises on your hip and the back of your noggin. 

Jim snorted at ‘noggin’, but Bones looked far from amused.

“The day after tomorrow, you’ll need one more osteo treatment and you’ll be able to use your wrist, but it’ll still need a soft wrap for a few days.” 

“But I’m ambidextrous!” Her protest died at the dual glares sent her way. Well, Spock’s was more of a disapproving expression, but Bones’ glare was out and out obvious. Jim slumped in response and nodded at the doctor, clearly unhappy. Moving to put a small amount of distance between everyone, she hissed as her tender hip spiked in pain when her leg moved.

“You know-“ He drawled. “-a pregnancy like yours is extremely risky and I’ve been getting more worried about you by the day. You’re just not taking proper care of yourself.” 

Spock went rigid next to her and Jim’s eyes narrowed. “Wait. That’s not what you said the other week. You said-“ 

Bones tucked a few hypos into a bag and moved to stand in front of her. “Last week, you weren’t burning the candle at both ends, kid. Last week, you didn’t basically kiss the concrete steps walking to the clinic. Last week-“

“I get it.” She hissed. Spock’s concern was clouding her mind and causing her to feel a little on edge. 

A warm hand splayed across her exposed lower back through the gap in her gown and her fight died on her lips. 

“Now, while Dr. Nguyen did a thorough exam and ruled out any potential problems with the baby, a second peek won’t hurt especially since you were originally coming here for a check anyway.” McCoy’s face softened and he guided her to lay down. 

Jim’s head ached at the change in position and she had to tilt slightly towards her right to silence its grumbling. Her head ached from the fall and closing her eyes, she forced herself to take deep breaths to shut it out. A hiss and sting at her neck caused them to snap back open. “Goddammit, Bones! Stop it!”

“Sorry, kid.” 

“I think you like those things a little too much. It’s unhealthy.” Jim rubbed at the spot on her neck and grumbled in complaint, but Bones just chuckled and helped her to straighten her hips for an easier readout. While she despised those stupid hypos, this one did actually help her to feel comfortable enough to accept the change in position. It did, however, make her feel a little floaty and tired. It would at least help with the walk back to her assigned quarters. Jim had had injuries similar to this and she knew it would have hurt like a bitch to move a lot without a little help.

The doctor leaned back and typed in a few commands to the side of the bed up near her shoulder and a mechanical arm unfolded from the side, hovering above her lower belly and the lights lowered. This was always her favorite part and, while it wasn’t new to her, it was to Spock. 

Jim wasn’t watching the area above her where the hologram of her baby would appear. No. She was watching Spock. 

An ethereal glow caused the young father-to-be and made his features almost soft; private in away that made her want to be the only witness to such a thing. The small gasp of wonder that escaped his bow lips when he saw the proof of his impending fatherhood made her smile and her heart feel lighter. Seeing this-this absolute joy at him experiencing the moment of his first peek at their child was indescribable. Jim vaguely wondered what her face had looked like when she had seen her baby the first time. Maybe it had been similar, but there was no way it was as beautiful as what was crossing his face at this moment in time.

“Alright. This little one is twenty-two terran weeks and one day along in it’s gestational cycle, twenty-eight centimeters even from crown to rump, and four-hundred and sixty grams.” 

So much joy, pride, and absolute wonder filled her that it stole her breath away. Jim couldn’t tear her eyes away from Spock if she tried. She could feel the air above her shift as Bones waved his hand to rotate the holographic image hovering above her while Spock watched absolutely entranced with what he was seeing for the first time. She understood some of what he felt because she had experienced it herself her first time. It was a once in a lifetime moment that he would never have again; that first time seeing your child-to-be appear in front of you, that peek into the unseen world that was hidden from view and was a miracle in and of itself.

The father of her unborn child’s mouth opened and closed several times, his words clearly failing him, and he remained silent with wide eyes that were filled with hope and excitement. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. 

“I can easily tell what the sex of the baby is going to be even with his or her tiny legs crossed the way that they are.” 

Jim was jerked back to the moment when Bones placed his hand on her shoulder and encouraged her to focus on what she was actually here for rather than what she was thinking about in regards to Spock. 

At this size and ‘age’, he or she truly looked like a baby rather that the blob she’d seen during her first ever visual check. The lower area between the legs was blurred out in deference to the potential wishes of the parents-to-be for whatever they decided in regards to wanting to know the sex of the baby and she was thankful for Bones’ respectful foresight. 

The pregnant blonde was 50/50 as to whether or not she wanted to knowing what it was. She’d been able and allowed to make every decision up to this point. It was only fair to let him make this one. After all, he was going to be a part of her life and the life of this little being inside of her for many years to come.

Tiny legs stretched and Jim smiled at the feeling inside of her that was her child doing exactly the same as the hologram. Looking up, she saw that Spock was still utterly focused on what he was seeing. “Spock?”

His head slowly turned to her and his chocolate eyes were pleading for this knowledge. She knew, then and there, that he wanted to know everything. She could feel from their bond that it would mean so much to him and that it would help him to bond with their child. “What do you want?”

“Everything.” He breathed.

That one word was spoken with such reverence that it made her flush, her skin suddenly too tight. It meant so much more than this simple request. Why, though?

Jim forced herself to look away and try and focus on the floating hologram above her. It was so weird to know that she was growing a whole other person inside of her.

“Alright.” Leaning over her, Bones tapped a few keys and the blur cleared, but tiny legs curled right back up. “Looks like someone is a little shy, but I got a good look earlier.” 

Both Jim and Spock faced Bones, both of them curious and excited. 

“Looks like the two of you are having a little girl.” 

Jim’s eyes widened in shock. She didn’t care what the sex was, but the idea of it already being able to be shown as a person rather than this abstract being was something that hit her hard. She’d known by the articles that she’d been given that the baby was developed enough to “see” what it was, but it was still so weird to really “know”. 

A slow smile spread on her face and she lowered her left hand to touch the swell of her abdomen as if she could physically feel the difference. A girl. 

A warmer than human hand covered hers and she turned her head to Spock who was gazing down at her in absolute wonder. Turning her hand in his, she closed her fingers to grasp him and projected her happiness. The small quirk of his lips showing a smile showed he’d gotten it. Maybe she was getting the hang of this bond thing after all.

“Hey, Spock?” 

“Yes, t’hy’la?” He answered.

“I-uh-“ Pausing, Jim bit the inside of her cheek. “I can’t really remember what happened in the ER. Did I say anything stupid?”

The corners of his eyes crinkled in affection. “No. No, Jim, you said nothing stupid.”

She breathed a sigh of relief, very damn thankful that he didn’t know her innermost thoughts.

“Now,” At McCoy’s clap of his hands, the pair’s attention shifted to the doctor who was looking at them with something akin to absolute glee. “Let’s talk about who’s gonna babysit Jim and get her back home because I’m stuck on shift the rest of the morning and have classes this afternoon.” 

“Wait-“

The hand holding hers suddenly gripped her much harder and she could feel the tension rolling off of Spock in powerful waves. There was worry, but there was...something else?

Bones ignored her protest and carried on. “I could ask Sulu since he’s going not got study periods this morning and then Gaila since-“

A deep growl sounded from her right and Jim was suddenly able to identify exactly what that emotion was. It was a volatile mix of protective anger and jealousy. “If Jamison requires additional support and care, I would be more than willing to do so.”

“Why, mr Spock, that’s a great idea!”

Bones’ act of false surprise and excited happiness wasn’t fooling her and she looked between the pair utterly trapped. “Now hold on just a minute! You said I was fine!“

He looked completely unbothered by her and raised a brow dangerously high in earning. His puzzling behavior from this morning suddenly made a lot of sense. “Now, who’s the doctor here?”

Utter. Interfering. Bastard. 

Spock pulled away, unsure and more vulnerable than she had ever seen him. Those beautiful chocolate eyes showed so much hurt and uncertainty that Jim winced in guilt. Whoever believed that Vulcans didn’t feel emotions was an idiot. “If you would prefer someone other than myself to care for you-“

God, he was so sweet that she couldn’t let him think that she didn’t appreciate everything he was doing for her and the baby.

Backpedaling rapidly, she pulled him back to where he was as close as before to the side of the bed. “No! No. That’s not it. It’s just I don’t want to take up your day. I know you’re busy and-“

Spock tilted his head in puzzled confusion. “I am doing nothing of consequence and my mate and child come first in all things.”

The lights in the exam room caused a halo to appear in his hair and the gentleness he showed her made her chest tight.

“Now, to care for Jim, you’ll need to-“

And the doctor proceeded to tell Spock, in excruciating detail, just what Spock needed to do to ‘babysit’ Jim. She had a sneaking suspicion that the two of them were teaming up and would drive her crazy for the rest of her life.


End file.
